g类写作这个样子有几分？请tx们指点。
3月份考得作文题目讨论fashionable clothes的，回家后从新写了一遍， 大家给点意见吧~ <br />
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In the present age, the issue of fashionable wearing is increasingly disturbing. some people assert that fashionable wearing often turn out to be markedly incompatible with out traditional cultures while many others argue that fashionable wearing stands for the passion of our life. To examine this controversial topic effectively, we need to consider the following aspects.<br />
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Convincing arguments can be made that some individuals can benefit from fashionable wearing. To start with, fashionable clothes enable us to obtain more opportunities in certain social events. e.g. Job interview, blind date, etc. It is obvious that the fair appearance partly determine the success of job application. Second, fashionable clothes afford pleasure and enjoyment to people. Young people usually go shopping with their friends and families at weekends; therefore fashionable wearing promotes the communication and interaction between friends and family members. Lastly, it boosts the development of fashion industry and “marketing & sales”. Specifically, some fashion related goods receive the same decent sales result, such as fashion magazines.<br />
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On the other hand, colourable arguments can be made that the fashionable clothes can bring about some negative impacts on the traditional culture while the people tend to be chase up “fashion trends”. The main reason is that the young people tend to totally ignore Chinese traditional wearing style as a result of the current globalised fashion market. In my opinion this is unconvincing as we have seen in recently years an integration and synthesis of new fashion and traditional culture. Most of fashion designers re-define “fashion” as an integration of different elements. The combination of Chinese “Qi Pao” and western material “lace” can be an example of this view.<br />
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Based on the above arguments offered above, I am convinced that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages in this case. Overall, the sense of fashionable wearing should be promoted by public media.
模板的痕迹啊～
Based on the above arguments offered above
两个above啊...呵呵
有一些语法错误。
结构蛮标准的四段式，看得出用了一些模板...我没有考过雅思，不过我估计6-6.5吧...
请各位大虾给个说法。
啊呀...突然发觉三个熊猫...缘分啊
呵呵呵~
那么文章通吗？
笑死我了。。。
楼主 注意单复数 和第三人称，细节扣分比较冤枉 。
楼上的小熊猫们，大哥来了~~~~~
这个作文写得不错，但是最好不要套模版。考官估计看到这样的模版太多了，给分也不会超过6.5。
但如果改一改，我觉得有希望>=6.5。
谢谢panda 哥哥
模板也是一种逻辑套路 不用这个套路怎么写呢？小熊猫很困惑所谓的模板问题。但如果这篇文章本身有没有很大的语言和逻辑上的错误呢？
我是这样理解的...模板只是为了给你一个思路...让你知道每段大致内容，但是具体用哪些句子，肯定还是要有一些自己的东西
还有第二段要举例的话...如果你对其中一个观点有很多想说的话，也可以只举两个例子，着重说明的。不不要一定第一、第二、最后这样...
模板就是招式...但是独孤求败是无招胜有招的啊...呵呵
换个感觉，把四段拆成五段也可以的啦。反正不要痕迹太明显。
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