发篇大作文，请大家指教，谢谢
请大家看看如果要提高的话主要要往哪方面努力，词汇呢，语法呢，结构呢，还是多练练。。。作文总在5.5到6间摇摆。。。<br />
288词，34分钟。<br />
题目：The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars?<br />
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作文：<br />
According to the documentary film HOME, there are over 1 billion cars in current world, and this number is still increasing rapidly. The consequent side effects include air pollution, tranfic jams, and even wide-spread healthy problems caused by lack of exercise. Taking them into account, should we consider discouraging people to use cars?<br />
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Living on cars will definitely lead to many problems. First of all, the fuel is a severe problem because the fossil fuel deposit is running down while scientists have not found another type of fuel which is as good as fossil fuel. What would happen when we had used off all the deposit? Nobody knows. Secondly, even if we have more than serveral decades to think about the question one, we must admit there are already heavy air pollutions currently, in which cars are playing an important role. Carbon dioxide from the burning of fossil fuel is becoming a threat to human being. Thirdly, for each individuls, driving has replaced walking, and sickness caused by lack of exersing is threating increasingly amount of people.<br />
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However, cars mean another way of life for us. Driving introduces flexibility and convinience to our life. People can easily get to their destination by their own schedule, and this is very important for today's economy. Every govenment rialises that widely using of cars is neccessary for national economy and development. Furthermore, for individuals, life with a car seems happier with life without it.<br />
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In conclusion, cars lead to many problems, of which are dangerous for human being. But cars is a current way of life, and people need them indeed. Maybe the best way to solve the problem is to develop new types of energy to replace the fossil fuel.
罕见的report类型嘛
这个水平的竟然是5.5-6。。。。信心被打击得一塌糊涂
感觉LZ语句还比较流畅，是不是模板痕迹比较明显的问题
罕见。。。？咋个罕见法。。
According to the documentary film HOME, there are over 1 billion cars in current world, and this number is still increasing rapidly. The consequent side effects include（including吧...一句话哪能有两个谓语捏？） air pollution, tranfic jams, and even wide-spread healthy problems caused by lack of exercise. Taking them into account, should we consider discouraging people to use cars?
给楼主的建议，第一段最好吧观点给给出了...总分总结构好些
What would happen when we had used off all the deposit?
这个use off sth？有这个用法么？
side effects是副作用吧，我记得一般是用复数形式。 The consequent side effects 是整个的主语啊。include我当时考虑了下，不过没想到更合适的词。。
不过总分总的结构我确实没大采用过，因为第一段会拉得很长。。。以后试着写两篇总分总的看看，多谢了哈。。
life with a car seems happier with life without it.
with life without it？有这种说法么，楼主有点中式英语...大家都有中式英语的问题，找个英语是母语的人批改下吧
嗯，这个纯属记错介词的了。。。应该是use up。。