如上面有人指出：
1) 总体来说，论点太空洞；词汇太单调；句子没必要的太长
2）有不少用词错误和语法错误。
就以你刚改的这段为例：
Nowadays, along with the updating (updating 这个词什么意思？应该用improving) of living standards, there are many changes in the （这个 the 应该去掉）eating habits. More and more people, particularly children, prefer to eat （prefer eating）some food with an imbalaned nutrition such as fast-food and even junk food (fast-food 和 junk food 不是并列关系， 不能用 and). A balanced diet like traditional food （traditional food 并不一定是 balanced diet, 没必要引入这个概念）, as far as I am concerned, still plays a quite important role for people to have a good life
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感觉lz应该拿骗30分钟写出来的文章才有修改的价值。
4各小时写出来的代表不了到时候考场的水平。
重写第一段：
Nowadays, along with the improvement of living standards, there are many changes in eating habits. More and more people, particularly children, prefer eating some food with an imbalaned nutrition such as fast-food, even junk food. A balanced diet, as far as I am concerned, still plays a quite important role for people to have a good life.
第二段的改写如下：
Obviously, eating balanced meals can ensure individuals to obtain all the nutrients in the right proportion. Different types of food provide different nutrients and therefore it is impossible to take all the necessary nutrition for a good health or growth from only one type of food. For instance, fruits and vegetables contain plenty of vitamins, while meats produce more fat and protein. As a result, not only should children eat with a varied food containing vegetables and meats during the whole period of their growth, the adults should also ensure the daily intake of nutrition by eating a quite traditional food. Only in this way could people keep fit so as to make their lives happier.
请大家再给看看，感觉各位同学的指导，比我自已闷头学几天收获还要多。
再次感谢楼上的几位！
不是我不想，是我根本写不出来，或是说写出的来东西根本都没有改的必要，呵呵。
最大的问题是整篇文章太空洞，那个词咋说来着？clichés？
楼主还是先练练在5分钟内打好中文的文章框架和内容提要吧。4小时写出来的东西，再怎么改也没用啊。。。
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