人品啊，俺作文一直没人帮改...
Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while othersthink it is unfair.<br />
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.<br />
<br />
With the commercialization of sports,those professionals, who win prize and honor for their countries in <br />
sports contests, can easily become millionaires or billionaires. It seems unfair and unjustified for those <br />
professions who also work in other important fields. However, in this essay, I will state the following <br />
reasons to decide whether it is so or not.<br />
<br />
First of all, it is completely natural and justified for sports professionsto gain more money. Comparing <br />
to other professions, the sport players have toface competitions from other countries. They could not <br />
achieve the success just through the hard work or merely their special talents. Only scientifically <br />
integrating these two sides makes achievements possible. Hence, once they winthe contests in the <br />
international games, they would become idols and also turn into scarce advertising resources in <br />
their countries. Receiving more money is underway. <br />
<br />
Second of all, facts suggest it is a fair and effective way to encourage a person to break through <br />
his physical limits through allocation of more wealth and the giving of enough respect. Based <br />
on this point, sports talents really represent everyone toreach these aims. In recent years, people <br />
would find that more and more countries use money as significant ways to inspire their sportstars. <br />
Take China for example, in 2008 Olympics Game, every competitor could become a millionaire <br />
as soon as he or she wins one gold medal. In addiction to an encouragement, this prize given <br />
by government obviously admits and rewards their hard work of training.<br />
<br />
Finally, even if sports talents gain a great deal of money after they succeed,it is still not <br />
important than their role model effects for the next generation. Those potential talents <br />
would take them as samples for their future. Thus, the society would potentially gain <br />
more great achievements in sports. <br />
<br />
As I have argued in the essay, earning more money for sporting talentsis fair and justified<br />
to encourage them to break through our limits. At the same time, they would be taken as<br />
role models for our generations to reach next aims. <br />
<br />
[]
字打了连在一起了，看起来好累啊
谢谢楼上, 重新编辑了！
有点离题。
题目是说，成功的运动员比其他重要职业的人挣钱多，是不是公平。文章里面好像根本没有对比其他职业，主要论点一是运动员是天才和努力的结合还要和其他国家的人竞争，所以是全民偶像自然挣钱多；二是给运动员钱能激发他们突破人类极限创造奇迹。好像没有说服力，不能说明运动员挣钱更多是公平的。
建议看MARK MORGAN雅思考试写作技巧，里面的审题思路很清楚，哪些是和主题相关的，哪些是不相关的
此外，请疾呼3WU老师出山，祝你好运！
楼上高手，对，好像有点，task response 不是很好.
文章没人改，那说明文章写得 还ok啊。。
建议注意练习，尤其时间，少用模板
这篇，偏题倒不是，就是回答不完整，审题不全
题目是： “Discuss both these views ”， 很显然 LZ 现在 是一边倒。
LZ第一段说： I will state the following reasons to decide whether it is so or not. 这是你的模板么？现在没看出来 “你” 如何 “decide”
关于结构，感觉还 ok... 只是有点含糊：
第二段，第一句并不能成为中心句，属于笼统概念，可以直接删除，用第二句补上。“Receiving more money is underway。” 用词不当？
第四段没看懂想说什么。猜测你想说让运动员获得更好待遇，能够帮助促进体育活动发展。 如果如此，这一段可以删除，因为跟第二段重复。 可以改成反面意见。
谢谢楼上，确实变成一边倒了，说到点上还是对Task分析不到位.
第2段改成 对立面的论证
把现在2,3,4合并成2个估计就好些了.
另外时间是最大的敌人，要在40分钟内完成很难.
要缩短时间， 只能多写
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