雅思作文求批，请高手帮忙看看能得几分？
发大作文一篇，求高手帮忙批改，多谢！<br />
<br />
<br />
题目：城市改造是否要保留古建筑<br />
<br />
<br />
Some people suggest that old building should be replaced by new building. Indeed, modern <br />
high-rised buildings are better than the old ones either in exterior or functional aspects. <br />
Although I appreciate the aesthetic enjoyment and comfortable feeling the new skyscrapers <br />
has brought us, I do not think knocking down all the old buildings is a wise policy.<br />
<br />
Old buildings have many advantages in various points. First and foremost, many buildings <br />
have dramatic historical significance. For instance, every time when I walk through the Tian <br />
An Men, I'll remember our president's claim of our country's establishment. Some old museum <br />
also contribute to the history education of primary students. Further, some of the old <br />
buildings are still very beautiful in modern aesthetic researchers' view. With the help of <br />
the various beautiful old buildings, our architects are able to acquire aspirations to work <br />
out more and more great buildings, which allow us to live comfortable as well as enhance the <br />
cityscape. In addition, although some buildings are aged, they were built so strong that <br />
they can last for many more years without laying dangerous to citizens; therefore, it has no <br />
need to knock down them in economic consideration.<br />
<br />
Many people argue that old buildings should be damaged and replaced by new ones. The reason <br />
is that old buildings are usually looked neither generous nor modern. However, it is the <br />
different kind of buildings that make the city more beautiful.<br />
<br />
In conclusion, I advocate reserve the buildings with aesthetic value or historic significance, <br />
and knock down the dangerous ones. Modern skyscrapers may has generous exterior <br />
and advanced function, but they can never replace the old buildings which can bring <br />
us the emotional amusement.
自己顶，请大家多批评，谢谢！
一点意见:
论证的时候, 如果举例子可以谨慎一点, 比如你说天安门啊新中国,,
西方人可能并不认同, 原因大家都知道的对吧~
就好像我帮主申准备口语的过程中, 举例子都要思考一下, 对方是否是强烈的环境保住主义者?(一次想说大象皮做的皮带, 后来否决掉)
哦，多谢建议，我会注意的！
自己顶，欢迎大家提意见哈
页:
[1]