听说作文改改就能有进步
在淘宝上买了作文批改，每次都是6分-6.5分。。。特发上拙作一篇，希望大家给点意见，怎样才能写到7分以上<span></span> <br />
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<strong>Some people think the media should stop reporting details of crimes to the public. What is your opinion?</strong>Telling the truth to the public is the media’s responsibility. However, whether illustrate the details of crimes to people, especially to young children, need to have a debate. Considering the adverse effect to socity, in my view, it is better that do not describe too much details of crimes to the public.<br />
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Several reasons can support this view. Firstly, crime details that showed to people, no matter by newspapers or by TV, may cause a negative impression in people’s mind, in terms of children. Moreover, people who receive the violence images frequently are likely to become aggressive. In other words, reporting details may lead people to committee another crime. Last but not least, the victims will get much more psychological hurt if the processes of crimes are reported over and over again. It is unfair to the victims that, Media, who just wants to meet public’s curiosity, to report such details.<br />
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Nevertheless, why many media tend to report the details due to such negative affects? The main reason is for the circulation and ratings. Media very clear that what public’s need about the news of crimes, which is not only the facts of crimes, but also the processes and details. Therefore, some media frequently headlight the crimes in order to gain more profits, regardless of causing adverse social effects or hurting someone else,<br />
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Overall, some measures should be taken by government to curb the proliferation of reporting the crime details. Without suggesting that deprive public of their rights to know the truth, but reduce the over publicity given to the dark side of society.
我看怎么只有5.5分的样子。。。最多不超过6分。
基本的词汇词性错，基本语法错（如主谓一致。。。），一个接一个啊。论述过程显得十分单薄，没有说服力。
当然亮点还是有一些的，有些中高级词汇用的还不错：）
只能说这么多了，午休时间不是很多 。。。
这。。。 求安慰。。看来写作还有很长的路要走啊
没事，我看你主要是基础语法不是很过关，找些简单的语法书看看吧。看哪里还没有彻底掌握的，加强一下练习就好了。
这个进步起来还是比较快。
基础词汇的话其实你的功底总的来说还是不错的，细节上多加注意就好
谢谢，其实语法问题也是被网上批改的老师说了很多遍，就是没下决心去系统的学一遍，看来真要好好钻研一下了，真心谢谢！
yrqin都说了这么多了，我就不现丑了
关于语法，你去做下GMAT的SC之后，应该会好很多
小胖来了，of前后要么都有the，要么都没有the。只看了第一句，就发现这个高中生不会犯的错误。
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