请高人给指点一下大作文，雅思能打几分，要怎么改才能更好
题目：<br />
<strong>Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.<br />
To what extent do you agree or disagree?</strong><br />
My answer：<br />
In the present day time, advertisement fills out our daily life with the increasingly growth of fierce competition. As a consequence, the debate about advertising is brought out. Someone argues that advertising confuses the people’s decision so that the high sales of popular products are only the reflection of the advertising effect, not that of the real needs of the society, whilst the others believe that the popular goods is just the thing that the society really demands. In my opinion, the latter is more reasonable.<br />
<br />
To begin with, the sales amount of a product, from the view of economic, is just affected by the relationship between the supply and the demand. This mean that the sales would maintain a high level if there are great demands and low prices. It is most evident that the sales climb when the demand rises accordingly or the price declines.<br />
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Moreover, the producers always change their outputs to meet the requirement of people, which indicates that their goods actually represent the society’s needs. In general, companies are prone to conduct surveys of the market before producing a new product for they usually make decision according to these data collected. Obviously, only does the product satisfy the society’s needs, would the sales of it get a noticeable achievement. In other words, the effects of these advertising are just broadcasting the products information, as a result, people are familiar with these goods and when they need it, they buy it.<br />
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Finally, the products satisfied the needs of society would have more opportunities to be the survivors in long run. According to the experience of mine, the products which have poor quality or useless function but excellent advertisement are usually forgotten by the people quite soon.<br />
<br />
To sum up, advertising is one aspect of products sales success. However, behind the success the function and quality are most essential characters.<br />
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我现在对于结尾段怎么写完全没有感觉，求大牛指点一下吧 不胜感激
帮顶 lz加油
结尾段只写这么一句绝对是失分的败笔啊...
YUEXMA大侠给指点一下吧。
结尾段一般要怎么写呢？是不是需要把上面说过的主要topic再重复一遍呢？
In the present day time。这个啥意思
是不是At present，更好？
结尾太弱了。stress一下
6分以下，看了开头，没心情看下去了。。。
搞不好，5分左右。。。
建议买相关雅思写作书籍。。。
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我的思路是这样, 请高人指点,
p1. 引题，并给出个人意见, advertising-- 大概40-50 words
p2- 论点1, 很多商品都是找一些名人来代言，往往这些商品都销路很好, 但是很多人买了这个商品只是因为喜欢代言人并不是真的需要. ... about 80-90 words
p3- 论点2.网上购物， 用户很购物很方便, 网页做的很好看, 商品介绍很详细，经常有购物促销， 打折活动, 这时就会经常忍不住购买，比如京东在周年庆时半价买书，买的人超多， 但买了之后发现有些根本不会看，只是有活动才买的. --about 80-90 words
p4- 简单总结, 并强调你的结论. about 40words
这么写可能会在task response 上有问题，因为从常理上讲，广告固然是有诱惑力，但是毕竟还是顾客自己做决定，如果要一边倒写advertising，也要提一下顾客方面
写作考的是语言能力，有违一点常理，只要自己能够论征充分，能自圆其说，应该也没问题的，当然不能太违背常理，黑白颠倒.
对于这个题目，我的理解是
要讨论商品销售的好是因为广告的作用，而不是老百姓的真实需求， 所以你必须是给出你的观点，同意，不同意或者部分同意.
然后给出你的论据，你为什么同意或不同意, 对于每个论据，你要能充分的证明它的正确性.
还有一点你要讨论的一定是很好卖的，比较普遍的日常商品, 比如你不能讨论波音飞机好不好卖.
有一点我不太明白的"needs of the society", 它到底指的是谁的需求？ 我把它理解成老百姓的需求. 不知道正不正确.
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