s1913dgoa
发表于 2011-12-18 13:53:03
我估计有可能是判为模板了。但是不是现成的模板，开头模板的痕迹重一些。贴出来给大家看看吧，顺便求批。
小作文可能TA有丢分，最后一问的when will you be available我理解成什么时候可以接电话了。因为我们公司写邮件的时候，大家都会说我什么时候不在公司，都是说available at 某个电话号码。（也不知道这样说对不对哈。）
You want to volunteer to help the old people of your community. An organization in your area works for the benefit of old people. Write a letter to the in-charge of that organization explaining:
1. Why do you want to help
2. How can you help them
3. When will you be available
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to enquire if I could do some work for your organization to provide some support to the elderly in the community. I understand that it would be voluntary and payment would not be necessary.
I come from a rural area of China. And when I was in the college I got numerous support from the society economically and emotionally. I just graduated this July, and I believe this is a good time to support back.
I am a software engineer, and if there is any work that entails computer repairing or software usage, I will be very delighted to provided help. I can do other things, however, like laundry work or cleaning. I would like to discuss with you further, and I am available at 010 12345678 every Monday and Wednesday morning through 9 O'clock to 12 O'clock.
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Jake
[]
s1913dgoa
发表于 2011-12-18 18:03:06
大作文：
Some people are interested in national news, others think it is important to know about international news, discuss both views and give your opinion.
The past few decades have seen a considerable increase in the attention paid to the news. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether the national news is more important than international news. In this essay, I will explore both views and provide my opinion.
Admittedly, national news is more related with our daily lives, be it the coming storm or the rise in CPI of last month. Therefore, there is no surprise that people would like to know about national news. Secondly, national news tends to be more reliable. This is due to the fact that, if it is not acquired from the original source, international news is often filtered or event modified by the government censorship. So people will get mislead.
Whilst the above discussion is valid, personally I believe that the benefits of knowing about international new far outweigh its drawbacks. Firstly, it is important to know about what happens in other countries, if one is doing trade globally, especially if he or she is trading oil or gold. Knowing about international news will help him or her to make wise decision. Secondly, as the borders across different countries are blurring, it requires us to know more about other cultures. Watching international news is a fantastic way to communicate. Thirdly, people can take advantage of know about international news. For example, when the price of house declined in America, many Chinese people went there and bought many houses and sold at a higher price later.
By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that both national and international news are important to us. And people should choose to learn about depends on their own situation.
s1913dgoa
发表于 2011-12-19 00:45:03
我倒也不指望一定上七，就像ketaotao说的，我至少可以找回点自信。最差的情况维持原判，我也知道自己在写作上的差距了，有的放矢的复习。
谢谢各位。
宫长剑
发表于 2011-12-19 10:38:42
应该是模板的原因吧，第一段和最后一段是九分作文里的句子吧？因为当初我也觉得这些句子很漂亮，有背过
期刊编辑0
发表于 2011-12-19 12:39:52
支持复议，至少应该上6
烟草专卖局
发表于 2011-12-19 19:49:08
羡慕楼上的进度，WA475.。。。我也要。。。。。。。。。。
fp2t1f9s4l
发表于 2011-12-20 03:50:14
支持复议！
复议完了别忘来分享结果。
s1913dgoa
发表于 2011-12-20 15:28:59
复议结果出来了——6.5
郁闷的是二雅的成绩口语作文都比一雅还低0.5分。
biaxphcjrmd
发表于 2011-12-21 00:17:41
安慰一下！好歹全过6了，可以申请一部分176了。
你的作文的模板痕迹比较多，稍微活泼点就能到7分了。
阅卷的看几百个firstlysecondly之类的套套，估计是要腻烦的。
kdl51hbn5u
发表于 2011-12-21 11:50:58
你就复议写作好了，干嘛复议口语把分给降了