雅思作文求批改
雅思考了几次，作文一直是5分，无法突破，愁死了。今天下午写了一篇，请坛子里的高手们麻烦给看看<br />
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Some people think the new buildings in cities and towns should be built in traditional styles. To what extent do you agree?<br />
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In current sociaty, there are many new buildings be built up in cities and towns, and most of them are designed in modern styles. It is hotly debated whether the new buildings should be built in traditional styles or not.<br />
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Undeniably, buildings in traditional styles have advantages in some aspects of building functions. To begin with, some kinds of buildings have their special purpose, therefore it is important to decide the style of such buildings. Take temples for instance, those buildings are mainly used in a certain purpose, in this case, the traditional styles will fit the purpose most. Furthermore, the styles of buildings often based on a nation’s traditional culture in ancient, so the traditional building styles reflect the traditional cultures in this respect in fact. For example, the Forbidden City in China, constructed by red walls and yellow roofs, represent the central country’s loyalty. Additionally, building new constructions in same traditional style will make the city beautiful and neat. Many tourists who have visited the historical area of Beijing will agree what I say.<br />
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By contrast, I should admit that traditional style buildings could not suit every aspect of people’s demand very well. It is due to the fact that the traditional style building are always low in height and narrow inside the buildings. Apparently, those types of buildings are not the most proper style for some sports facilities, such as swimming pool, gym and so on. In terms of households, people living in modern city need big living room, convenient toilet and kitchen, which could not offer by traditional houses, therefore, less families prefer to live in a traditional style house.<br />
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On the basis of the above discussion, I could concede that traditional style buildings have advantages in some kinds of buildings. Even so, these styles of building could not fit all kinds of requirements of society. As a consequence, I would argue that when people should construct a new building, they should decide the style from the point of the functions.
我不是大牛，不过看了第一段，我想说如下建议，抛砖引玉：
1、首先不要有拼写错误：society,估计你考试的时候不会错，可能打错了；
2、there be 后边又接了be built，be应该去掉吧；
3、hotly 最好用heatly；
4、buildings建议改成其他的同义词，这样会词汇上不会太过单一，有抄袭题目之嫌；
5、there be句型用在第一句有点低调，建议直接去掉，用被动语态，buildings 最好加一些定语来修饰，如a growing number of ...之类的，不要用 an increasing number of；
第一段写好了，考官印象分会上去的！
只是建议，请后边的大牛指点！
看完了你的作文，知道了你所要表达的就是不太赞成新的建筑都用传统的模式，对吧？既然这样，你就应该在第二段先表达这个你支持的观点，第三段的内容挪到第二段，在充分地肯定一下，说明不能都建成传统模式；
然后第三段写一个让步段，说传统的也有一些优点；
第四段总结的时候一定要突出你的观点，新的楼房建造要根据自身功能决定，而不应该都建成传统模式；
这样的话思路会很清晰！
另外，你文章里的词汇太过单一，可以适当的补充替换一些：如traditional这个词，在后边你甚至用一个old可能都比一直用这个词要好！
最后，文章模板痕迹太重，要自己改善一下！
谢谢楼上
回头再改改
词汇匮乏也不好解决啊
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