[第二篇大作文] ，谢谢论坛里的伙伴们，让我的文章也火一把吧 4/27更新
Question: Some people think that it is a waste of time for individuals to plan for the future and it is more important to focus on the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?<br />
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Version 2 超长了，等下次改。这篇文章没完，请继续关注<br />
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Thesis: <br />
段1：长远计划比眼前要重要<br />
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Argument：<br />
段2：因为计划能避免人们放弃自己的长远目标；计划能激励人们克服眼前的问题。<br />
段3：眼前的工作虽然也能影响人生计划的成功，但是收到长远计划的约束。<br />
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Conclusion: <br />
段4：重述段2和3，做出predict。<br />
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It is widely accepted that some key prerequisites dominate the individuals’ success, such as the execution of ongoing activities and the scope of the future. It is agreed that sensible long-term plans play an indispensably significant role than daily activities in people’s lives owning to its inherent advantages. Analyzing both the clear guidance and inspiration factors of the personal planning will show this.<br />
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There are many reasons to believe that people can benefit more from the explicate plans. The primary root cause is that the human beings will probably abandon their dreams or even go astray without careful planning, if they encounter the enormous adversities presently. For instance, the youngsters are likely to meet some academic and emotional challenges potentially inducing them to drop out of school or get addicted to alcohols, if they have not established clear missions for their lives. Moreover, the achievable goals can inspire people to confidently overcome the contemporary problems. This can be directly illustrated with some successful entrepreneurs, such as Steve Jobs who was enormously haunted by family and economic issues in his early age, but he chose to stick to his dream and finally founded an excellent company “Apple”.<br />
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In spite of this, what we are doing nowadays will exert influence on the final results. <br />
To accomplish a long-term goal, people should work diligently and acquire the skills and experience on a daily basis. Nevertheless, people’s daily work should reflect their long-term expectations which determine the directions and methodologies fundamentally.<br />
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In summary, the planning for future will preferably guide and stimulate people to achieve their successes, and at the same time, direct people’s current activities. Thus the argument that planning is a waste of time is groundless. After analyzing this subject, it is predicted that people could work and study more efficiently and effectively if they could set and regulate their plan according to their prospective.<br />
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谢谢各位哦
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给评语的一律给评分啊 谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢
就这么沉了 哎
A much debated issue these days is whether people should prioritize the planning for a bright future or pay more attention to the present.
future和present用的原词，这样开头不好吧
This is can be best illustrated with the employment opportunity of the college graduates
病句，而且最好别用best This can be directly illustrated by the employment rate of college graduates .
While on the other hand
没这么用的吧 on the other hand。
The primary reason is that the achievable goals
语法.... achievable goals 没有the
Therefore, should people form feasible goals and work on them consistently every day, they would more likely turn their dream into reality.
没看懂，should在前面感觉像个问句
多谢多谢，我立马改
While on the other hand确实不妥，改掉了
再次谢谢你的认真批改，下次一定互评作文共同提高！！！
感觉楼主还有提高空间
有些句式和用词好像Chinglish
这是我的感觉 我的体会，西方人喜欢用名词性的词汇，也非常爱用副词，状语等结构
关于此点我有个建议，楼主拿着自己的文章，看看能不能简化，比如说两个句子，能不能变成一个定语从句或状语从句
一个复杂句 能不能将从句的主谓语省去 变成状语成分等 养成简练的行文习惯后，一个是在考试时能节省时间，写出更多内容
再一个是给人感觉更地道
此外，感觉有些些的跑题。
我觉得原题说的是着眼于目前还是要有远期目标
我觉得楼主的论证还不是很充分，至少我看完以后感觉有些地方没有没有点出来
要是我的话 我会在第二段论证有远期目标的好处：
1）远期的目标可以确保人们朝着正确的方向去努力、奋斗，少走弯路
2）理想给人奋斗的激情（楼主的观点）
3）有了长期目标，可使人不纠结于短期的得失
第三段，关注眼前的好处：
1）长期目标的实现需要一步一步的走过去，需要现在的努力
2）远期目标的设定依赖于当前所处的情况，比如当前的能力、条件等
最后一段给出自己的观点：
两者都重要，缺一不可。有个远期的目标人更容易成功，但是同时也必须关注眼前，从现在开始努力、积累。
雅思作文观点是第一的，在观点很好的基础上，要把观点表达的很清楚，很地道 7分就离你不远了
非常感谢中肯的评价，我的文章缺乏观点，并且用词不妥。
我一定努力提高，谢谢你！
开始改一下作文，稍后给出小改版本。agree和disagree还是有偏重会比较好些，也容易控制长度
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