11gyhutib5
发表于 2013-4-15 17:44:59
我发现审题很重要，题目问的是 我后来写着写着写成了people travel more， 要注意
11gyhutib5
发表于 2013-4-16 01:29:20
上面的places多打了一个e
11gyhutib5
发表于 2013-4-16 04:48:05
It is true that the number of visitors has increased in recent years. For many reasons, more people prefer to leave their home temporarily to have a holiday. Consequently, tourists also profit from travelling around the world in many respects.
11gyhutib5
发表于 2013-4-16 10:08:39
It seems experienced employers are more satisfied the demands in the job market recently. Compared with graduates from the college, experienced workers are more popular with employers. Nonetheless, this does not indicated that academic qualifications are unnecessary. Instead, I believe that both an academic education and work experiences are essential when it comes to get a good position the in job market.
Experienced workers are more competitive against freshmen. First of all, experience can maximize the employers' profits, for they do not need to spend extra time and money on training them. Furthermore, those employees may not only adapt to work surroundings quickly, but also have the capacity to solve problems when they work. Finally, their experiences will play a key role to reform the current system if there is a necessary. In this way, they help the company reduce the cost largely, so they are more popular in the job market.
However, formal qualifications are also very useful and helpful in the career. To begin with, academic qualifications are relative to their future career development. It shows your potential abilities to the employers that you are qualified to the position in the future. In other words, workers will be limited in their promotion if they lack academic backgrounds. Moreover, in some professional areas, such as accountancy, the medical industry and archeology, academic knowledge often determines one's professional level and achievement. It is impossible to apply for a position in these professions without any formal qualification.
In conclusion, although practical skills become more important to job seekers than ever before, but it is also indispensable for applicants to have necessary academic qualifications when it comes to obtaining a good job.
11gyhutib5
发表于 2013-4-16 13:47:01
In today’s job market it is far more important to have practical skills than theoretical knowledge. In the future, job applicants may not need any formal qualifications. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
nyzhm4hy82
发表于 2013-4-16 21:38:32
背新概念很有帮助么？ 这个工作量有点大啊，要背正本的话。
绿绿衣裳
发表于 2013-4-17 03:51:37
绝对有帮助，不过不强求背，
跟读和仿写很有用
sds6w9h8h7s
发表于 2013-4-17 12:43:36
It seems experienced employers are more satisfied the demands in the job market recently（有问题，be satisfied with是固定搭配，表示满意，但是你表达的不是满意的意思，所以看得出来是中文直译的，要不得，in the job market看得出来也有很中国特色，这样不好，修改一下可以说are more favorable in the job fair）. Compared with graduates from the college, experienced workers are more popular with employers.（这个基本和上句重复了，要是要体现the newly graduate直接可以在上句里面加个than就可以了） Nonetheless, this does not indicated that academic qualifications are unnecessary（语法错误惨不忍睹，does not后面加动词原形，不管是什么样的水平，这个都不应该错，后面那个教育程度也很生硬,可以改成educational backgrounds are of no use）. Instead, I believe that both an academic education and work experiences are essential when it comes to get a good position the in job market. （啰嗦，重复）
Experienced workers are more competitive against freshmen（不说偏不偏题或这个topic sentence好不好，就文笔而言给人感觉就不好。毕竟这种表达大家都用，见到太多次了，而且和前面有重复的，experienced workers typically could gain a competitive edge over beginners）. First of all, experience can maximize the employers' profits(hiring the experienced, to some extent, could bring down the cost of employers), for they do not need to spend extra time and money on training them. Furthermore, those employees may not only adapt to work surroundings quickly(could not only find their positions in the workplace in a short term), but also have the capacity to solve problems when they work(but also be more capable of handling tricky problems they meet). Finally, their experiences will play a key role to reform the current system if there is a necessary(逻辑很大问题，语法问题也很明显，finally, to, necessary都用的莫名其妙，reform system这个也没见过，改成in addition, their experience may help to accelerate the reform of incumbent commercial systems). In this way, they help the company reduce the cost largely, so they are more popular in the job market. (换种表达，自己换吧)
看了两段不想看了，其实主要是再看下去也一样，你自己都看得出来自己的问题，就算再发10篇上来也一样。
好好读读我推荐的那本书吧，还有新概念，希望你看完新概念不是只学了几个单词。
sorry,语气很难听，只是我上次给你的建议没有看出你在这次的习作中执行了。
磨刀不误砍柴工，祝你好运
l2z1q3k5z
发表于 2013-4-17 20:27:38
连考了两次G类，作文都是6.5.顾老师的书我也看了，但感觉他写的文章还是比较“硬”，句与句之间的逻辑还是达不到native speaker的自然程度。
也看了ielts-simon上的范文，感觉他的范文也就很顺，读起来不会感到别扭。只是他的范文数量太少了。
总之我的水平还要再提高，希望早点拿到7.
nRHaya17
发表于 2013-4-18 05:27:52
嗯，的确，书里面文章的水平本身就不高，但是对打好基础蛮好的，纠正前后逻辑不搭和中式表达这个理念蛮好。
到后来，7分什么的自己的积累也挺重要的，bbc,卫报什么的文章，好的表达copy下来，用起来感觉还蛮有成就感
6.5到7其实也有运气的成分，祝ls好运