泽马浪人
发表于 2013-10-24 21:39:58
Simon 刚贴了一个解题思路，仅供参考：
http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-hel ... -2-money-topic.html
This is what I call a "2 part question". Here's my 4-paragraph essay structure:
1. Introduce the topic and give a general answer to both questions.
2. Describe two or three other factors.
3. Say which factor you think is more important.
4. Conclude by repeating / summarising your views.
顾家北的手把手上也有这道题，但是范文感觉是写跑题的节奏。。。
短发的
发表于 2013-10-24 21:52:10
我就是今天看到他那个微博所以才拿这个题目来练笔的。这种混合型题目貌似最近挺多的，得多练。
短发的
发表于 2013-10-25 09:51:42
关于esteem，多说两句。
我曾和我的外教探讨过welfare这个词，他说这是专指针对流浪汉、失业者等处于穷困状态的人的救助，因此welfare在英语文化中的含义和中文对“福利”的定义有较大差别。在中国，单位在节日发点米、油可以被称为“福利”，但这很明显不属于welfare。
这和esteem有什么关系呢？有的。因为穷人受生活所迫，有时候不得不放弃尊严去做自己本不愿意做的事情。比如之前新闻报道，一个小孩因为吃樱桃被呛在气管成了植物人，他妈离家出走，他爹为了筹钱治病去抢了银行。假如有完善的社会保障制度（welfare），那么这家人虽然遇到了困难，但仍可以维持着做人的尊严，而不必沦为罪犯。
2351233
发表于 2013-10-25 16:55:39
支持楼主,我也来写个,这次的蛋扯的有点远,2,3百字真是不够扯...
The development of a country's economy can increase job opportunities and households' wealth. In many countries, especially developing countries, the government's main objective is to ensure the economic progress is steady and rapid. In China the local governments' decision-making process is largely influenced by a sole economic index, that is GDP. Chinese central government considers eliminating the hunger problem which emerged from last century by greatly advancing economic progress as a tremendous achievement. However, after people's basic needs have been met, whether or not keeping the same policy unchanged can still be recognized as a valid standard for the measurement of a country's success will be in question in that different stages during the development of a country require different goals to satisfy its people's various and dynamic demands.
One of probable factors to be considered as a country's success is education level. A hypothetical scenario that a country was full of rich but uneducated people, their hobbies were boxing, hunting, gambling and their vicious and cruel personality drived them to seek new excitement regardless of the consequences can certainly raise rational persons' fear of a failing society. Nowadays the America, the most wealthy and powerful country in the world, also has the majority of world-class leading universities and colleges. Its government strives for the provision of high-quality education not only for gifted children but also for those with average minds. Well-educated individuals know the importance of moral values, social orders and critical thinking skills, all of which are the crucial elements for human civilization to survive and develop for thousand years.
In contrast, in China there is a trend gradually emerging that people tend to believe “going to university is useless” and less and less people maintain the habit of reading in spare time to obtain personal grow.In the meantime, the rate of violent crime increases and people are more likely to resolve their interpersonal conflicts with extreme measures such as abusing, bullying, and even killing. The correlation between the two is undoubtedly significant.
Thus with the rising extent of societal collision as a clear indication for the demand of changing, an effective strategy could be augmenting the level of education in order to keep the country continuing to be successful.
金融股票
发表于 2013-10-26 02:15:18
你的文章看过之后我觉得可能会在6.5或低一些 （前提是如果你在澳洲考）。有一点我很肯定你的这篇文章绝对拿不到7. 我觉得你有几个点要注意 1.不要个人化，少用I， me， personally。 最好不用。2. 少用极限词 例如obvious，all等。我在澳洲考的7.5 ，这个我的雅思老师告诉我的，他是local。所以你要少用。给你举个例子。
It is self-evident that most people can lead a peaceful and affluent life in a successful country because of sufficient social welfare provided. Social welfare,such as governments' subsidies, can considerably relieve citizens' burdens in their lives especially financial stress in housing and medication. If citizens can receive enough social welfare from governments to support their daily lives, then they can definitely make more contribution to society rather than spending more time on chores. Therefore, one of essential indicators for a nation's success is the amount of societal welfare people can acquire from governments.
这是个例子你参考下 如何逐步论证和选词。希望对你有用
epjgcwxjp
发表于 2013-10-26 10:12:59
如果题目问give your own opinion, 怎么表明个人看法？
最新打法3333
发表于 2013-10-26 18:41:57
如果题目中写到provide own opinion， 如果你在文章中第一段就表示观点的话可以写一句（只是一句）：from my perspective，...(你的观点观点)。 在后文中你就不要在写I了，用It is代替。
举个例子： some people think teachers are necessary for study。 other people think teachers are not necessary, because they can self-study. Discuss both views and provide your opinion.
intro: 写个背景句+加题目改写+This essay will look at both points of view and offer my perspective.(这个句子只是个例子，词汇上有待改进）
body1： 一方面人的观点
body2： 另一方面人的观点
body2： 你的观点。Although ... has some merits, it is admitted that...*你的观点（要学会用It is的句型表示你的观点，这是A类的一个关键点。例如提建议：It is suggusted that。 ）
conclusion.
我一般都写5段式，这样论述比较清楚
短发的
发表于 2013-10-27 06:14:15
关于你提出的“不要个人化”的观点，本人不赞同。我只需举一个例子便可以证明：在《剑8》第173页的考官范文中，该作者在最后一段完全以个人感受来论证自己的观点，“Personally, I think that ... I went to a mixed school, but feel that I myself missed ...”
如果你argue这篇是G类作文，A类作文要求更严，那么请往前翻至第167页。在这篇A类写作考官范文中，作者在第3、第5段均以第一人称来阐述观点：“I think to tackle this problem...” “In conclusion, I think that ...”
不过，阁下的那段作文的确更加流畅、严密，给了我很大启发。子曰：三人行必有我师焉。然也！
短发的
发表于 2013-10-27 14:59:45
大侠这篇神作，在下不太懂欣赏，怎么看都觉得是5分的范。
1、首段过于冗长，且观点不够鲜明。
2、主体段只论述了教育需作为衡量标准，但完全没有谈及题目的第二个问题“Do you think one factor is more important than others?”
swjq7376
发表于 2013-10-27 21:05:09
Forget about examples from the IELTS officials. I don't see words like "I think","Personally" appearing in any articles of The Economist. As long as we are communicating, saying those words is perfectly fine. Essay? That's a whole different animal. Higher standard produces greater outcome, don't you think?