0c1c8147
发表于 2014-11-3 14:40:45
没详细看，但有两个地方问题比较明显，跟楼主探讨一下：
"... I sit in IELTS test in case my target score not achieved"
sit in ... test 搭配奇怪，可以说participate in，或者直接说take
in case后应接从句，你缺谓语，可以说 in case my target score is not achieved
还有列举用AND things like that
152125
发表于 2014-11-4 02:38:41
四个8太难考了，可遇不可求。
其实丶很单纯
发表于 2014-11-4 06:49:47
复议结果出来了， 写作涨了0.5分
后面回忆下，当时作文可能有点跑题了。
这段时间集中精力抓写作， 各位大神帮忙看看下面这篇习作：
Some people believe that the best way to improve the general well-being of schoolchildren is to make physical education compulsory in all schools. Others, however, think that this would have little effect on overall health and that other measures are needed.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is a frequent topic of discussion on how to improve the overall well-being of schoolchildren. Some people suggest that compulsory physical education is the best approach, while others think there could be better ways to achieve that. In this essay I will analyze both arguments and aim to find out a comprehensive solution to this issue.
It is true that a compulsory physical education at school could benefit students in a number of ways. Apparently more physical exercise means better physical fitness, and this is particularly important considering the worrying fact that a growing number of children spend much of their spare time on watching TV and playing computer games. Furthermore, sports activities contribute to the development of social and teamwork skills. For example, playing football in a team allows students to learn how to communicate with each other and work together in order to win a game.
That is not to say that physical education alone could improve the overall well-being of the students, there are other equally important measures that help to fulfill the purpose. Firstly, students should be encouraged to join more after-school activities, such as volunteer work and public events. An active engagement in the surrounding communities is beneficial for young people to cultivate a strong sense of responsibility towards society and a spirit of caring to the people in need. Secondly, to better prepare schoolchildren for their future career, the curriculum might be adjusted regularly to be in alignment with the fast changing requirements of the highly competitive job market.
In my opinion, the well-being of a student refers to a well-rounded development on many aspects of human qualities, including intellectual, emotional, social as well as physical. Therefore, a concerted and comprehensive approach is preferred to tackle this issue, rather than focusing on physical education alone.
abujn1v5h3
发表于 2014-11-4 15:34:00
我准备明年2月考。也要现在开始报名吗？
ghyt2fieed
发表于 2014-11-4 15:48:52
一鸭就7炸，强！沾沾运气~~
mignyay8k
发表于 2014-11-4 22:01:27
支持您，顶他们的肺
南部县农民
发表于 2014-11-5 03:32:26
祝好运。
aegean1980
发表于 2014-11-5 08:09:07
楼主加油。楼主是真的勇士！！！！
njtianyuan
发表于 2014-11-5 15:38:46
现实一点吧。。。
我周围除了马来西亚人和菲律宾人（从小英文），没有考到8888的
Hoasheree
发表于 2014-11-6 03:22:35
我一雅的时候和你是同样的心态，也被雅思狠狠打脸了。现在只求7炸了