题目是关于垃圾产生的原因和解决办法的<br />
Nowadays, large number of rubbish are being produced in accompany with the size of expanding stomach of humankind. However, it is a total tragedy for us in the foreseeable future if we are not aware of the deadly disastrous fruits from the trees we are now breeding.<br />
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Diverse human activities have brought about tremendous rubbish, indeed. To begin with, manufacture industry should be at the first place of the accusing dock. Statistics indicate that nearly half of the factories dump by-products without any treatment. They surely are not only rubbish, but contaminant as well. Furthermore, each individual cannot be the exception of the sentence meeting, either. Taking a public transportation but driving a private car is a sensible self-rescuing idea for keeping out off the guilty, because the private cars, compared with public bus, give off more harmful gas which are, obviously, the indispensable member of rubbish. However, all mentioned above can be controlled by the efforts of government.<br />
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Government should take more responsibilities to reduce the amount of rubbish produced. First of all, government has the absolute power to establish and then to enforce the rules, which may ensure the factories and public consider about the immense fines might get from their inappropriate behavior before the final decision of producing rubbish. Aside from the enforcement, advertising and steering should make the government accountable. The fatal error and the disaster can be rooted into the public's skulls if the correct thoughts and concepts could be expressed comprehensively by the government-running media. <br />
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As what we have discussed above, it is believed that for reducing the rubbish produced, factories and public should stop the harmful activities immediately. Prominently, only when the government's guiding role plays well enough, can we control the rubbish production effectively.
Paragraph 1
Nowadays, a large amount of rubbish is…
(Is it okay to say ‘expanding stomach’?)
Paragraph 2
Surely, there are not only…
Instead of driving a (private) car, using public transport is…
(I understand what you mean but private car itself does not produce more harmful gas than a bus. You’d better put it another way like “Using public transport can reduce the total amount of production of harmful gas.”)
However, these can be monitored/controlled by the (efforts of) government.
Paragraph 3
the factories and the public to consider…
Paragraph 4
factories and the public should stop any harmful activities immediately.
(Personally I would say “Prominently, we can only control xxx only when yyy” to make it simple)
Overall, I think this essay is not bad. What grade do you need for IELTS?
作者: 么么狗蛋 时间: 2010-4-1 19:19
Nowadays, large number of（great deal of?不可数嘛） rubbish are being produced in accompany with the size of expanding stomach of humankind. However, it is a total tragedy for us in the foreseeable future if we are not aware of the deadly disastrous fruits from the trees we are now breeding（为啥要用进行时？现在完成时可以哇？）.
作者: 名酒之家 时间: 2010-4-2 03:06
Diverse human activities have brought about tremendous rubbish, indeed（可不可以状语前置呀？）. To begin with, manufacture industry should be at the first place of the accusing dock. Statistics indicate that nearly half of the factories dump by-products without any treatment. They surely are not only rubbish, but contaminant as well. Furthermore, each individual cannot be the exception of the sentence meeting, either. Taking a public transportation but driving a private car is a sensible self-rescuing idea for keeping out off the guilty, because the private cars, compared with public bus, give off more harmful gas which are, obviously, the indispensable member of rubbish. However,（换个连词呗...） all mentioned above can be controlled by the efforts of government.
楼主写得蛮好格...找不出啥毛病，比我写得好多了...
作者: huadie80 时间: 2010-4-2 14:42
Government should take more responsibilities to reduce the amount of rubbish produced（用前面用过produce了,这里用output？）. First of all, government has the absolute power to establish and then to enforce the rules, which may ensure the factories and public consider about the immense fines might get from their inappropriate behavior before the final decision of producing rubbish.（wihtout refining it不是不生产，而是排放之前要处理） Aside from the enforcement, advertising and steering should make the government accountable. The fatal error and the disaster can be rooted into the public's skulls if the correct thoughts and concepts could be expressed comprehensively by the government-running media. （呵呵，怎么感觉像洗脑啊～～）
作者: Antesiagresia 时间: 2010-4-2 19:45
As what we have discussed above, it is believed that for reducing the rubbish produced, factories and public should stop the harmful activities immediately. Prominently, only when the government's guiding role plays well enough, can we control the rubbish production effectively.
虽然用词不是很复杂，但是楼主语法、词汇量功底很好的说...我给高分啊...呵呵