TASK:<br />
Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as an incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others.<br />
To what extent is this style of management effective?<br />
Are there better ways of encouraging employees to work hard?<br />
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Human Resources have always been considered as the virtually key factor to a commercial organization. Especially, those staffs who can contribute extra good are nearly a vital core to the employer. Owners or superiors usually like to reward these staffs by giving them an additional money for the sake of keeping them with a constant attitude of hard working.<br />
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Admittedly, employees are working for a salary basically. Money is the priority for both employer and employee sides. And people will appreciate when they can earn another fortune other than the existed wage by contributing their own intelligence or effort on job. What's more, a kind of psychological satisfication will give these staffs more joy, which may play a considerable role for a salary man. Thus, the money related reward is recommended and popular in modern company recently.<br />
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However, in my own opinion, this style of management may also bring some other negative impact to the company. Team work crisis, for instance, may reveal as the result of this action. It is quite normal that only the sales department staff get an extra money while the design staffs can get nothing even if they have paid a mean effort. The extra money may bring an extra interruption to the team atmosphere. Furthermore, the staff who was rewarded would feel lost or even jealous if he were beaten in another round of reward competition.<br />
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I personally strongly suggest that a vast number of kinds of reward, including the promotion, and a more responsibility share or a training chance, should be applied. A diversity of reward can be more effective and attractive. After all, wealth has always been only one of the most important targets to achieve. It will be more ideal and joyful when the career become miscellaneous for those who have the talent and is willing to contribute them to the company with a perfect reward system. <br />
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拜托大家咯～虽然我也知道看起来会比较辛苦……
第二段 money 本身不是问题，问题在于没有紧扣题目。“To what extent is this style of management effective”
第三段的第一句本属于第一段的。第一段的第二句与题目关系不大，建议缩短成定语修饰。或者直接删除。
第三段第二句是该段中心句，却又力度不够。
最后一段倒数两句，没看出两句前后逻辑，也看不出是文章的总结。