这篇写得慢，有一个小时了，不过字数总算是够了<br />
The movement of people from agriculture areas to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems and how can these problems be solved?<br />
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answer:<br />
In the 20th century, with modern technology such as machinery farming and genetic engineering being used, agriculture is much more efficient than ever. As a consequence of that, so many farmers are no longer needed and they have been forced to live and work in the cities, which is called the process of urbanization. This process has already been completed in most developed countries, but in some developing countries, enormous numbers of migrants are rushing into cities every year. It brought several detrimental effects to either urban areas or suburban areas, which deserve people’s greatest attention.<br />
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In the big cities, the upsurge of migrants from countryside may lead to local hostility because they are considered to be competitors in employment. Besides, urban people and suburban people have different views on many issues due to different background. These differences are responsible for most of conflicts between them. Moreover, suburban people who work in cities are usually low-paid as majority of them are not highly educated and they would find it very hard to lead a sustainable and enjoyable life in cities. Consequently the crime rate among them is higher than normal urban people.<br />
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The departure of large quantity of people also caused severe problem in the countryside. Usually only the energetic young people can find a work in cities. As most of them could only support themselves in cities so their children are left behind with elder people. Finally, children will grow up with bad education and very few parenting.<br />
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I believe these problems pose tremendous threat to the stability of the society and government should not avoid the responsibility to solve it. Firstly, some free training course should be provided to the migrants to help them find a better job and get used to live in cities. Moreover, government should set up cheap schools for their children and support them financially. Then after one or two generations, these people will be assimilated to urban life.
作者: gtfnqjjd 时间: 2010-12-22 16:56
俺考的是G类，几次都是6-7，水平不高，比这差远了。
作者: 9zynga8xe 时间: 2010-12-23 01:46
你这不用说都7分啦
作者: dvvc9428 时间: 2010-12-23 09:43
本人作文水平有限,个人见解仅供参考
结构上我觉得这篇是个report形式的问题,按我以前看的很多范文来说,
是主体1段(也就是全文第二段)应该写各种问题,顺便提及原因,
主体2段,提出对策,结尾段做总结.但是lz把这个顺序顺延了,主体1,2段都写问题,结尾段写对策.想问问高手这样是一种常用的写法么?
其他挑几个小错.
much more -> increasingly?
enormous numbers of 有点重复?
severe problem -> severe problems
elder people -> elderly people
threat -> threats
bad education 挖苦?委婉一点好一些
avoid the responsibility -> shift responsibility?
training course -> training courses
get used to live ->get used to living
不是一般的头重脚轻。
中心不突出。第一段没有中心。第二段中心分散。第三段等于无中心（泛泛的 bad or good 不能构成中心句。）。
作者: 8c22o46ko 时间: 2010-12-24 06:41
本人还没考雅思，过来学习一下。不谈LZ的文章，想和大家分析一下这个题目。
The movement of people from agriculture areas to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems and how can these problems be solved?
关于这个命题，我的第一感觉是要high level的介绍一下背景，因为XXX原因，所以出现了YYY这种状况，带来了诸多问题。
接下来，我觉得应该把重点放到几个“serious problems”上面。可以先泛泛的说出现的一些问题，然后重点点出你认为比较严重的，2-3个即可，逐一分析：成因、现状、解决方案。（需要注意的是，要cover both places）
最后，总结一下，譬如虽然出现很多问题，但这是一个大势所趋，只要正确引导，总的来说还是好的……等等之类。
个人见解，说的不对，大伙尽管拍砖~~
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作者: hh0y0kyge 时间: 2010-12-24 14:06
雅思一窍不通。结构逻辑完全不明，只能看看语法表面上的。
TECHNOLOGY 用 INTRODUCED好点吧。
It brought several detrimental effects to either urban areas or suburban areas, which deserve people’s greatest attention.DESERVE应该DESERVES。
WORK这个词也是不可数的。
另外觉得CHEAP SCHOOL这个词不太对。也许是我没见过。
再看了一下, 要注意逻辑关系,结构, 保持简洁和完整的搭配
As a consequence of that, of that根本不需要
forced to live and work, 要forced to move, 不要上来就live 和work, 逻辑上不通
which is called the process of urbanization, 这个多余,再改改或去掉, 而且不能叫process, process 更多说人发明出来的流程,有特定的目的, 这个是社会现象而已
This process has already been completed in most developed countries, but in some developing countries, enormous numbers of migrants are rushing into cities every year. 这句干脆别要了
In the big cities, the upsurge of migrants from countryside may lead to local hostility because they are considered to be competitors in employment.第二段中心句要先讲现实情况,如果这段要讲人和人之间的冲突的话, because后面的就不要拉,要接着阐述几个造成冲突的原因, 比如, 城市里面的人不太理解外来人口, 外来人口所受教育少, 素质低, 外来人口工资低,容易获得工作,造成城里人没工作, 要展开来写4到6句
Besides, urban people and suburban people have different views on many issues due to different background. These differences are responsible for most of conflicts between them. 第二句别要了,没有实际意义,