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标题: 看看这个7分作文到底7在哪里呢?? [打印本页]

作者: 那句话是    时间: 2010-12-9 17:33
标题: 看看这个7分作文到底7在哪里呢??


<strong>In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion on this?</strong><br />
Nowadays, many children involved in different types of jobs to have some kind of financial assurance for themselves. However, whether this is good for their development and personality is a much debatable issue. I personally believe that paid works is harmful for children for several reasons.<br />
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It is said that children learn valuable experience in the work place. This may be true. However, I would argue that children are mainly employed for jobs that require manual work and are low paid. The recent statistic reveals the common tasks that children are assigned are washing dishes, cleaning floors or serving food in restaurants. Meanwhile, this kind of jobs actually do not provide children with necessary and useful skills so that they can apply in their future carrer. <br />
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This brings me to the second point. Defenders of child work argues that it is an effective method of learning. The point is children should be able to apply knowledge taught to them in a real life working environment. Although this is undoubtedly true, it also means that children may neglect the classroom study and even fail the class. The worst thing is yet to come. They may become so occupied with the benefits ahead of them like small salary and leave school. <br />
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Finally, supporters said that it helps them to build responsibility in the family. They will understand how it is difficult to earn money and therefore have a compassionate view with their parents. This is true to a certain extent, but may have a totally adverse effect on children. As children can make money at an early age, they would feel that it is appropriate to spend on luxury things by their own money, which could be recovered later. <br />
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In conclusion, I think that parents should take measures to restrict their child to work, otherwise it would have a negative consequences on their futures.




作者: psswebpp    时间: 2010-12-9 18:37


逻辑结构不错,行文流畅,各种句式变化,没有低级语法错,词汇运用恰当

主要是4个评分方面:词汇,语法,逻辑,连贯性,都挑不出啥大问题,

当然虽然各方面都不错,但也不是好到让人惊叹的程度。

可能有不少7分文章在某些评分方面比这篇文章要好很多,如高级词汇的使用,更复杂的句式等,一般人看上去也许会觉得写的极其出色,比这篇好多了,但估计因为逻辑和连贯性(老外很重视这些的)拉了不少分,才最终得7分,甚至更低。不然可以拿更高分了。

所以,要拿7分,写作的四项要求平衡发展才是王道。而有一项短板了,就需要另一项很出色才行。

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作者: h69pijft9t8    时间: 2010-12-10 01:39


这是哪来的?是七分例文吗?



作者: 那句话是    时间: 2010-12-10 10:19



IELTS BLOG 上的,评分7+呢



作者: 该用户ID已存在    时间: 2010-12-10 21:19


觉得没有7分, A类的绝不会有



作者: bntzuwjk    时间: 2010-12-10 23:42


不同意,原因参见
http://www.freeoz.org:8126/ibbs/ ... id=49287#pid3177404





作者: zzsth637    时间: 2010-12-11 00:10


能不能给7分,这个要看老师的吧,如果评分的人看着觉得比较对口,读起来比较顺畅,那就有可能。换作是别的类型的老师评卷可能就不会有7.
我觉得大家在联系的时候还是以提高自己的能力为主,让文章结构工整,内容饱满,减少错误,这样就具备了7分的实力,至于能不能拿到考场上那个7,就看造化吧,不是我们能左右的。所谓谋事在人成事在天嘛,把自己能控制的这一半做好也算对得起自己了。

lz的名字很强大,表示7分专业户的意思么?



作者: nbiu6473    时间: 2010-12-11 06:00


哦,那里啊,我看过一些7分8分的作文,实在觉得不太对头,所以就只看网站提供的tips了。





作者: 那句话是    时间: 2010-12-11 13:54




你可别误会,如果7分专业户我就不来了,

名字只是个代号,无任何意义。。

只是曾经的一些跟7有关系,所以带了seven。
要是雅思也跟7有关系该多好啊。。。。expecting



作者: 金融股票    时间: 2010-12-11 16:18







作者: Aballitreible    时间: 2010-12-12 01:45


觉得可以拿7分,文章结构比较新颖,运用驳论的形式,比起最常见的折衷论述的方式更具有新意。这应该是一个得到不少加分和好感的方面。
句子比较平实,但没有低级扎眼的错误,而且运用较多的一般复杂句。个人感觉,如果写的句式再复杂一点,再加几个大词,kind of这样的口语修饰少用,应该还能往上0.5分。



作者: 19gyhusfe4    时间: 2010-12-12 08:24


我觉得这篇文章可能拿7 也可能 6.5.
语法 和 连贯性 这两项 可以到7 ,但是词汇和观点不一定有7。
词汇方面,几乎没有一个闪光点,比如我们在老外的新闻网站看到的那种典型的英语思维才有的表达。
观点的表达也可以说比较务实,但是也可以说比较常见。







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