Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays, people give top priority to education and some people even claim that every single individual should study at school till they reach the age of 18. Reasonable as it may sound, I am not in favour of the point.
Firstly, the fixed age of leaving school may impair the development of certain groups of students, especially those talented ones. For instance, it is often reported that some prodigies finish high school study before the age of 12 or even earlier. As a result, they should have access to higher education. If they are kept staying at school, it is a waste of their precious time they should have spent exploring more profound knowledge and they may feel bored with easy school subjects to them.
Secondly, this conformity may deprive some of teenagers of the rights to embark on their career earlier. There is no doubt that some of students from low-income families or other disadvantaged groups tend to work before 18, at 16 or 17, to help support the family. Meanwhile, exceptional talents show their interest in running business in their early age and their parents back them up in the course of career development ahead of the age of eighteen.
However, the obligation of studying at school till 18 is of great significance in those under developed countries in particular, for it ensures poverty-stricken students enough schooling, which plays a vital role in the life of the individual’s and the society as a whole.
To sum up, fixed age of leaving school may damage the learners’ enthusiasm for learning or violate the working rights of some potential workers. If the age can vary accordingly, the flexible regulation may function better.
废话不多说。从我的理解来看，2#的作文三个主题段写的还是不错的，结构上符合学术作文的要求，句子衔接做得也不错。开头段稍微弱一些，如果能适当展开一些更好。结尾段最弱，To sum up这一句开始有点不知所云了。我老师教我的方法就是，从主体段的所有主题句或支持句里各挑出一些关键词，然后进行同义转换，再组装成一个句子（应该是一个复杂句，至少是个并列句）就可以了。