练习了一段时间，感觉速度上有所提升，但是好像词汇量下来了，昨天又写了一篇，求高手点评！<br />
大家帮忙看看能得几分？<br />
感激不尽~~<br />
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题目: Sending criminals to prison is not an effective way. Education and job training should be used instead. To what extend you agree or disagree?<br />
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The problem of whether criminals should be sent into cell or just educated is not a new one. Although imprison them seems a bit brutal, given the choice, I suggest that all the culprits should be sent to prison to get the punishment.<br />
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Restricting the freedom of the person who violated the law makes practical sense. First and foremost, it contributes to the social stability and safety. What is meant by this is that criminals are the ones who threat the society’s stable development. The freedom given to them may become the causes which make them revert to crime. Further, if offenders are just given education rather than punishment, it will surely cause a panic on citizens. It is suggested by the leading researchers in the field of sociology that there is a definite link between the incidence of crime and the punishment. Therefore, moderate penalty is necessary to deal with the high crime rate.<br />
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Many people argue that criminals should get education or job training instead of be imprisoned. The reason is that these actions could help them get a decent job, which may give the culprits new opportunities to survive. However, what I want to argue is that those people who hold this idea may lay much more emphasis on criminals’ rights, they ignore the law abiding citizens’ rights.<br />
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In conclusion, I strongly advocate that all the law breakers should be sent to prison or get more stringent punishment. In order to achieve a soundness surrounding for social development, it is necessary for law enforcement agencies to place greater emphasis on the impact of offensive on human welfare.
Further, if offenders are just given education rather than punishment, it will surely cause a panic on citizens. It is suggested by the leading researchers in the field of sociology that there is a definite link between the incidence of crime and the punishment.
第二句和第一句有逻辑上的问题, 应该第一句完了以后展开讲 panic of the citizen. 但是又不太好讲, 接上一句讲犯罪率和惩罚有关系,但是跟panic有啥关系????