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标题: 15号考试,最后一次发大小作文求批!欢迎评分,目标:6 [打印本页]

作者: 顾冬连    时间: 2011-1-8 11:48
标题: 15号考试,最后一次发大小作文求批!欢迎评分,目标:6


还有一周就要上战场了,第一次考雅思,心情很激动,今天掐点写了一套作文。<br />
红色字体的是后来改的,原来写的有语法错误。<br />
欢迎大家批评,最好有经验的前辈能帮忙看看能得几分?<br />
谢谢谢谢!<br />
<br />
<br />
题目:<br />
Writing 1:<br />
Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter<br />
1) explain why you change jobs<br />
2)describe your new job<br />
3)tell him/her your other news<br />
Writing 2:<br />
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advangtages to living in an apartment.<br />
Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?<br />
<br />
<br />
Writing 1:<br />
<br />
Dear Kitty,<br />
<br />
How are you these days?<br />
I am writing to you to share (a) good news of mine.<br />
<br />
I have got a new job in Microsoft Company. The position is to be a production manager which is my dreamed. As you may know, I have decided to change my job for a long period of time. I do not like the previous one as a computer programmer, and sitting in front of the computer for a whole day is quite boring for me. Now, my dream has come true, I am so delighted!<br />
<br />
The new job suits to my ability; it needs you to be good at communication and drawing a conclusion. Both of them are not difficult for me, I think. I will begin my new job in next month. Before that time, I plan to go to Qing Dao for traveling with Echo and Sunny. If you had time, we hope that you could join us.<br />
<br />
Looking forward to hearing from you!<br />
<br />
<br />
Best Wishes,<br />
Olivia<br />
<br />
<br />
Writing 2:<br />
The discussion of whether living in a house or an apartment is better is not a new one. Although living in a house seems more comfortable and spacious, given the choice, I believe that apartment is much appropriate for the young people, such as me.&nbsp;&nbsp;<br />
<br />
Living in an apartment is convenient for young people in many aspects. First and foremost, people do not need to do many household chores. That is, the staff of the apartment will help to do the basic cleanings and they do not have the gardens and swimming pools which need cleaning every short periods. It is especially suitable for the young individuals who are busy in work.<br />
<br />
Furthermore, living in an apartment conserves the time of traveling to work. Recently studies suggest that ninety percent of the individuals living in apartments think that it is convenient to travel to work because most of the companies and the apartments are located in the centre of the city, whereas the houses are tend to be far away from the centre. <br />
<br />
Many people argue that living in houses has more advantages. The reason is that individuals are able to get their own gardens and swimming pools which help them for entertainment in leisure time. However, in my opinion, it only suits to the people who have more spare time, the retired ones are good examples.<br />
<br />
All in all, there are both advantages and disadvantages of each choice. People should consider their living conditions. As to the young people, I suggest that living in an apartment is a better choice.




作者: brusualse    时间: 2011-1-8 23:00




挑了几个明显的语法。分数要请高人打。我打分无能 = = 曾经跟人说他的文章有7结果才6.5,之后我就再也不打分了 = =


Writing 1:

Dear Kitty,

How are you these days?
I am writing to you to share my good news.

I have got a new job in Microsoft Company. The position is to be a production manager which is my dream/ which is what I dreamt. As you may know, I have decided to change my job for a long period of time. I do not like the previous one as a computer programmer, and sitting in front of the computer for a whole day is quite boring for me. Now, my dream has come true, I am so delighted!

The new job suits to my ability; it requires you to be good at communication and drawing a conclusion. Both of them are not difficult for me, I think. I will begin my new job next month. Before that time, I plan to go to Qing Dao for traveling with Echo and Sunny. If you have time, we hope that you could join us.

I look forward to hearing from you!


Best Wishes,
Olivia


Writing 2:
The discussion of which one is better, living in a house or in an apartment, is not new. Although living in a house seems more comfortable and spacious, given the choice, I believe that apartment is much suitable for the young people (or: I believe that living in an apartment is a better idea for young people) , such as me.&nbsp;&nbsp;

Living in an apartment is convenient for young people in many aspects. First and foremost, people do not need to do much housework. That is, the staff of the apartment will help to do the basic cleanings and they do not have gardens or swimming pools which need to be cleaned every short period. It is especially suitable for the young individuals who are busy in work.

Furthermore, living in an apartment conserves the time of traveling to work. Recently studies suggest that ninety percent of the individuals living in apartments think that it is convenient to travel to work because most of the companies and the apartments are located in the centre of the city, whereas the houses are tend to be far away from the centre.

Many people argue that living in a house has more advantages. The reason is that individuals are able to get their own gardens and swimming pools which entertain them in leisure time. However, in my opinion, it only suits to the people who have more spare time, such as the retired ones.

All in all, there are both advantages and disadvantages of each choice. People should refer to their own lifestyles and preferences to make a decision. As to the young people, I suggest that living in an apartment is a better choice.



作者: 顾冬连    时间: 2011-1-9 05:41


Thank you!
看来语法错误还是不少呀



作者: 小泉纯七狼    时间: 2011-1-9 09:58


请楼主汇报成绩啊!!







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