第一篇具体题目忘记了，好像是“说明水资源短缺的原因，提供解决方法”<br />
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Recently, water shortages have become a serious problem over the world. In this essay, I tend to discuss the reasons for this trend and provide some appropriate solutions.<br />
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The causes of water shortages could be various, but some of them can be considered as most important. First of all, modern industrial consumes a great deal of clean water. For example, paper-making and mining, and the worse thing is, most of water that used cannot be reused again. Moreover, pollution to the lands and rivers, also cuts down our supply of clean water greatly, which means that polluted underground water cannot be used any more due to land pollution, and the river full of black water also unable to feed the people who living by it. Above all, most people still lack of awareness of saving water. For instance, when they are washing dishes, they always keep the water running.<br />
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Many countries are seeking solutions for this problem, and I would like to offer some as following: as we know, science and technology are the primary productive force, thus, new technology should be developed for modem industrial which can considerably reduce the using of water. On the other hand, lands and rivers should be protected by the government from polluting by industrial waste and household waste, also, waste water also need to be processed before pumping into rivers. Finally, government should use media to demonstrate the importance of saving water to the public.<br />
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In summary, I agree that water shortages have been a major problem in human society, however, we are also trying our best to solve this problem, it may still exist in short time, but with our efforts, it will not be a problem in the foreseeable future.<br />
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第二篇<br />
题目：Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money because computer technology is replacing their functions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?<br />
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Given the great progress that has been made in computer technology, some people believe that there is no reason to keep wasting money in maintaining libraries, since their functions can be replaced by computer. Personally, I do not entirely agree with this view.<br />
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Clearly, libraries have been exist for thousands years, and its functions are not limited to acquiring knowledge. More specifically, libraries are also a place for having discussion, exchanging ideas and sharing information. Besides, good atmosphere can always be found there. On the other hand, libraries hold a great deal of original materials, which are important for some particular studying, and cannot be replaced by computer technology. For example, if you want to study on a writer, on the manuscript can give s you the most information, which is impossible to copy into computer. Finally, even in 21th century, libraries are still far more common than computer. For most people, especially elderly people, studying computer is unrealistic in any circumstances.<br />
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Despite all these facts, it is undeniable that computer technology has been used in some aspects of libraries. The obvious part is searching information. As we can see, computer room is becoming an infrastructure of libraries. By using computer, valuable time can be saved from searching books among bookshelves, and needed information can easily be found within seconds by inputting your keywords. More than that, maintaining computer data is much cheaper that papery materials, all it needs are small fixed place and electric power.<br />
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In summary, libraries still cannot be replaced by computer. However, some computer technologies can be imported to reduce the maintaining cost of libraries, and bring great efficiency.<br />
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先谢过大家了。
作者: 曾心鑫 时间: 2011-5-13 04:52
我来试试看吧。雅思考试作文部分获?.5，所以
以下意见仅供参考。并期待大牛拍砖
文章总体，个人认为写的还可以。
但需要留意副词，连词之间的区别；语义尽量不要跳跃，逻辑连贯性。
第一篇
Recently, water shortages have become a serious problem over the world. In this essay, I tend to discuss the reasons for this trend and provide some appropriate solutions.
语义有些跳跃。开段点明 水资源匮乏。之后就直接表明，我想讨论一下原因和提供方法。
如果当中能加入诸如：水资源缺乏引起大家的普遍关注，水资源对于人类发展的重要性，等等
The causes of water shortages could be various, but some of them can be considered as most important. （这段but并没有用好，前后没有转折关系）First of all, modern industrial consumes a great deal of clean water. For example, paper-making and mining, and the worse thing is, most of water that used cannot be reused again. （这个论点个人感觉，需要多想一点。因为无法 recycle所以造成无法使用变成废水，接着造成越来越多的工业使用消耗了水资源，然后造成水资源短缺）Moreover, pollution to the lands and rivers, also（语义重复） cuts down our supply of clean water greatly, which means that polluted underground water cannot be used any more due to land pollution（due to再一次语义重复）, and the river full of black water also unable to feed the people who living by it. Above all, most people still lack of awareness of saving water. For instance, when they are washing dishes, they always keep the water running.（时态不对等 + 有点绝对化。incline to do比较好）
个人认为，三个论点写的不错。如果能使用一些高档单词就更好了。
pollution-> contamination
use -> utilise
reuse-> recycle
Many countries are seeking solutions for this problem, and I would like to offer some as following（as follows）: as we know, science and technology are the primary productive force, thus（副词，不能连接两个句子）, new technology should be developed for modem industrial which can considerably reduce the using of water. On the other hand（不能用在，前后两个句子方向性一致的情况下）, lands and rivers should be protected by the government from polluting by industrial waste and household waste, also（副词不能连接两个句子）, waste water also（重复） need to be processed before pumping（该被动态） into rivers. Finally, government should use media to demonstrate the importance of saving water to the public.
In summary, I agree that water shortages have been a major problem in human society（同意与否有些多余，可以写点其他的比如说：the increasingly insufficient water provision calls for a widespread public attention and definitely, it is a tough problem we encounter at the present to be resolved）, however(副词不能连接句子), we are also trying our best to solve this problem, it may still exist in short time, but with our efforts, it will not be a problem in the foreseeable future.
作者: da2e0h8u9q 时间: 2011-5-13 08:00
万分感谢irason， 终于知道自己的缺点了。19号再战！！！
作者: ukqw1414 时间: 2011-5-13 18:31
science and technology are the primary productive force 科学技术是第一生产力