There is a definite link between education and the career success of an individual.The issue of whether students should start to work after gatduating from primary schools or secondary schools is of great concern for many people.To my way of thinking,lack of education is the root cause of unemployment;therefore ,being able to have access to secondary education or higher levels of education is a key determinant of one's career success.<br />
<br />
There are numerous disadvantages to only getting primary education.Primary schools only can provide students with the most fundamental knowledge which is not enough for them to survive in this fast-changing society .Simple and basic skills acquired from primary education only can enable students to undertake some manual jobs.Such jobs are more likely to be associated with low salaries or inferior socail status as well.Moreover,the employers tend to choose those candidates with various abilities and skills. <br />
<br />
In fact,it is standard practice for most of the countries in the world to make secondary education compulsory .It is obvious that governments have already realized that both individuals and nations can benefit from education;therefore,governments have a duty to raise the public awareness of the significance of secondary education,and ensure that all their citizens can receive qualified secondary education.On the other hand,secondary education prepares students for tertiary education which is an indispensable part of our society.Without successful tertiary education ,there will be little progress in the field of technology and science. <br />
<br />
In conclusion,not only is secondary education benefical to all the students' job seeking ，it also plays a pivotal role in the development of our society.<br />
<br />
[]
There are numerous disadvantages to only getting primary education.Primary schools only can provide students with the most fundamental knowledge which is not enough for them to survive in this fast-changing society .Simple and basic skills acquired from primary education only can enable students to undertake some manual jobs.Such jobs are more likely to be associated with low salaries or inferior socail status as well. Moreover,the employers tend to choose those candidates with various abilities and skills.
There is a definite link （connection 是不是好些）between the education （an individual has acquired）and (his/her) career success.
The issue of whether students should start to work after gatduating from primary schools or secondary schools is of great concern for many people. ( 改成主动句是不是更好，many people have the concern that whether students should commence their career after the primary schooling or after more education.)
To my way of thinking (这句不自然，改成 it is commonly believed 较客观),lack of education is the root cause of unemployment （建议改成 inadequate education is one of the major root causes of unemployment.）;therefore ,being able to have access to secondary education or higher levels of education is a key determinant of one's career success.
(therefore, access to XXXXXX would be crucial in leading one's XXXXX.)
There are numerous (感觉serveral更自然) disadvantages to only getting (应该是get, 而且建议换成 merely accomplish) primary education.
The issue of whether private secondary schools can offer students better education is of great concern to public.Some people believe that attending private secondary can guarantee their children a promising future;while others claim that private schools have a negative impact on the young generation and society alike.The merits and demerits of private secondary schools will be explored below.
A private secondary school,as an alternative to a public school ,has its advantages and disadvantages.It is widely accepted that private secondary school has been consolidating its status as the high qualified education provider.Firstly,private schools can afford to employ the best teachers who are experts in their fields.This ensure students have access to informative and stimulating courses in every subjects.Secondly,it is standard practice for private secondary schools to own hight technological facilities and equipment; therefore teachers can impart knowledge and skills to students in a more entertaining and amusing way.Finally ,private shools tend to have smaller classroom size and can solve students' problems individually or even provide one-to-one tutorial .
Although students can profit from the merits presented above,private schools may exert detrimental influence upon students' psychological and social well-being.It is universally acknowledged that private secondary schools maintain high tuitions and only high income families are able to afford that.Students in private schools only can practice their social skills with their affluent peers.Lack of communication with the students from low income families will result in discrimination against impoverished people.Furthermore ,private schools enable their students continue to benefit from their social status,it will widen the gap between the rich and the poor in the future,which poses a threat to keeping society safe and stable.
In conclusion,private secondary schools are beneficial to students from high income families.Meanwhile,the existence of private schools can also cause severe social problems.
[]
作者: fu141951 时间: 2011-8-26 11:54
有点不太同意5楼观点
我的理解
写作除了考察遣词造句
对于含义也有要求
需要意思连贯 论证流畅
像那种堆砌着华丽的词藻
但是论点不堪一击或者完全摸不着头脑的
也得不了高分
当然 我不是说楼主哈
作者: aasnj9048f 时间: 2011-8-26 22:32
LZ, 题目原文是啥？
作者: 痞子鱼h 时间: 2011-8-27 08:24
几点意见，仅供参考：
1. 从文章结构看，题目是问do you agree or disagree, 但是第一段没有表达作者观点，最后一段是优劣点并举，有不够扣题的嫌疑，如果题目是叫你discuss，那LZ的内容结构就合适了。
2. 一些句子结构可以再紧凑些， 比如 private secondary schools maintain high tuitions and only high income families are able to afford that.
连用两个Hight 也是大忌，可以改成 private secondary schools require heavy tuition that only high-income families can possibly afford.
Medical care is a frequent topic of discussion.The issue of whether governments should concentrate on illness treatment or preventing illness by promoting healthy lifestyle is of great concern to the public.To my best knowledge,both measures have their own advantages ;therefore governments should lay strong emphasis on the two aspect of health care.
Spending money on illness treatment not only can bring numerous benefits to unhealthy people,but also contributes to medical researches.Firstly ,it is a basic human right for people who suffer form illness to get proper and instant treatment .Governments and hospital have a duty to help them recover or alleviate their pains .Secondly,developed medical facilities and excellent medical services can provide health citizens with a sense of safety.This is simply because they know they have access to health care whenever they need it.Finally ,medical knowledge can be accumulated during illness treatment.This knowledge promote the development of medical researches which are beneficial to humanity.
Although it is imperative for government to dedicate money to illness treatment ,the significance of promoting health lifestyle could not be neglected.Maintaining a health lifestyle plays a pivotal role on individuals' well-being.Governments should raise the public awareness of the importance of health lifestyle ,such as taking regular exercises ,choosing the healthy food and so forth.Moreover ,taking measures to preventing illness can reduce the government expenditure of illness treatment.It is manifest that persuading people to adopt a proper lifestyle is much cheaper than curing an illness.
In conclusion,governments must help unhealthy people by investing more money on medical facilities;meanwhile ,illness preventing also deserves more attention.