22号马上四鸭了，写作却始终摸不着门道，从5.5到4.5又到5，貌似问题很严重却又不知道问题到底在哪里。悲剧啊~<br />
付费在网上找了几家修改作文的都不给力，貌似也就能改改主谓一致性啥的，给的分数还都没低过6。就这样被他们一次又一次无情的欺骗了，坑爹啊~~<br />
<br />
无奈只能麻烦各位帮忙看看，能耐着性子帮忙看完的就大砖可劲拍吧。在下先谢过了~~<br />
先贴书信一封：<br />
You have recently moved to a different house.<br />
Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In you letter<br />
Explain why you have moved<br />
Describe the new house<br />
Invite your friend to come and visit<br />
==============================================<br />
Dear Sam,<br />
How is everything going with you? It has been a long time since last time we met. I am sorry for have not writing you for so long, because I had been searching a new house in last few weeks.<br />
<br />
I am happy to tell you that I have moved into a new house last week. As you know, my previous house was quite close to a factory which made terrible noise day and night. Moreover, there was a hole on the roof that the landlord refused to fix, which always leaks in rainy days. I was tired about that house indeed.<br />
<br />
As I mentioned, I found another house ten days ago. This house was built five years ago. It is almost new. The surrounding environment is very quiet. I think I can have good sleeps here. The most important thing is that this house is just two kilometers away from my company. I don’t need to drive to work everyday anymore.<br />
<br />
By the way, I am planning to hold a party in the new house this weekend. Will you be free then? You will be the first bunch of visitors if you would come. Please tell me whether you will be free then.<br />
<br />
Give my love to your family.<br />
Yours sincerely<br />
Goldenrush<br />
<br />
[]
作者: 花开一世香 时间: 2011-10-16 18:24
再是新鲜出炉的TASK2。拜托各位了~~
Today more people are travelling than ever before.
Why is this the case?
What are the benefits of traveling for the traveler?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
=============================================
Nowadays, travelling is becoming a popular and universal activity for people in China. In my opinion, there are three main reasons cause this phenomenon.
The most important reason is the improvement of transportation. As the increasing of investment to the basic facilities, the conditions of roads and railways improved significantly, as well as airports. Meanwhile, the improvement of technology also optimized the traffic tools, such as cars, trains and airplanes. These two factors make our travellings more comfortable and more convenient.
Another important reason is that individual’s income has been increasing greatly, which make the travelling fee become cheaper relatively. For instances, an average worker needed to spend as much as three-month salary to afford a domestic vocation tens of years ago. However, they only need to pay one-month salary nowadays.
In addition, the more humanized laws also made great contribution to the increasing travellings. Workers now can get more paid holidays than ever before according to the law. As a consequence, people now have more time to spend on travellings.
The benefits of travelling for the traveler are obvious. For one thing, people can have vocations in many other places after busy working or study to relax their bodies and ease their minds. It is beneficial to both their physical and psychological health. For another thing, people can have more opportunities to meet with other people and get more friends and broaden their horizons, especially for young people.
In conclusion, the better transportation, increasing individual’s income and more humanized laws caused more people travelling. People can relax and make new friends during travellings.
[]
作者: 1w6d1772 时间: 2011-10-16 21:02
抛砖引玉
Dear Sam,
How is everything going? It has been a long time since the last time we met. I am really sorry for not writing to you for so long, because I have been searching for a new house in the last few weeks.
As you know, my previous house was quite close to a factory which made terrible noise day and night. Moreover, there was a hole on the roof that the landlord refused to fix, which leaked in rainy days. I am happy to tell you that finally I have found a perfect place to settle.
The house I am living in was built five years ago. It is nearly brand-new. The neighbourhoods are so nice here, and no noise to bother me. I think I can have good sleeps here. The greatest thing is that this house is just two kilometers away from my workplace. I do not have to drive a long way to work anymore.
By the way, I am planning to host (throw?) a party in the new house this weekend, and you are on the top of the guest list. I really want you to be here at that time. Please let me know if you can make it.
Yours sincerely
Goldenrush
作者: 恋恋木木水 时间: 2011-10-17 00:40
抛砖引玉V2
Dear Sam,
How is everything going? It has been a long time since the last time we met. I am so sorry for not writing to you for so long.
Lately I am a little busy of finding a new place to live. As you know, the place I used to live was too noisy because it was not far from a car factory. Also the landlord was not so nice and refused to fix the roof of the house. I was really tired of arguing with him on such problems.
I am really glad to tell you that I have found a perfect house last week and I have just moved in. It is bigger, it is quieter, and after all, it is only 2 kilometers from my workplace. I do not have to driver a long way to work anymore.
On this weekend, I am hosting a house-warming party and you are on the top of my guest list. Please let me know if you can make it.
Yours sincerely
xxxx
作者: geydv9254l 时间: 2011-10-17 08:15
帮忙改个task2
Nowadays, travelling is becoming a popular and universal activity for people in China. In my opinion, there are three main reasons cause this phenomenon.
Nowadays用的太多了，换
is becoming 为什么要用进行时呢， travelling is increasingly popular worldwide, especially in China.
后面这句略显呆板。
The most important reason is the improvement of transportation. As the increasing of investment to（investment 后面要加in）the basic facilities（用infrastructure更好), the conditions of roads and railways improved（过去式不妥） significantly, as well as （前面说的是condition，这里不能直接上airports，要 that of airports，that指代condition）airports. Meanwhile, the improvement of technology also optimized（又是过去式，不妥，粗看还以为是被动忘了加be动词） the traffic tools（traffic tools是啥？ 用vehicles）, such as cars, trains and airplanes. These two factors make our travellings more comfortable and more convenient.
Another important reason is that individual’s income has been increasing greatly, which make（makes） the travelling fee（expense） become（前面已经用动词了，这里去掉become） cheaper relatively（这句话改了这么多语法错误还是很奇怪。。）. For instances（单数）, an average worker needed to spend （缺个objective） as much as three-month salary to afford a domestic vocation tens of years ago（ten years ago 就可以了啊）. However（In contrast）, they only need to pay one-month salary nowadays.
In addition, the more humanized laws also made（为什么又是past tense。。。） great contribution to the increasing travellings. Workers now can get more paid holidays than ever before according to the law. As a consequence, people now have more time to spend on travellings. （more用的太重复了）
The benefits of travelling for the traveler（plurals） are obvious. For one thing, people can have vocations in many other places after busy working or study to relax their bodies and ease their minds. It is beneficial to both their physical and psychological health. For another thing, people can have more opportunities to meet with other people and（多了个and，改comma） get more friends and broaden their horizons, especially for young people.（这段有部分是抄或者背的吧，一看就不像你写的。。放在这里考官会觉得奇怪）
In conclusion, the better transportation, increasing individual’s income and more humanized laws caused more people travelling（the better 没有对仗，要前后长度对应）. People can relax and make new friends during travellings.
Dear Sam,
How is everything going with you? It has been a long time since we last met. I am sorry for not writing to you for such a long time, because I have been searching for a new house in the last few weeks.
Happily my effort was not in vain. I am happy to tell you that I have moved into a new house last week. As you already knew, my previous house was quite close to a factory which made terrible noise constantly. Moreover, there was a hole in the roof, which was always leaky in the rainy days, and the landlord refused to fix. I was tired about that house indeed.
As I mentioned, I found another house ten days ago. This house was built five years ago. It is almost new. The surrounding environment is very quiet. I think I can have good sleeps here. The most important thing is that this house is just two kilometers away from my company. I don’t need to drive to work everyday anymore.
By the way, I am planning to hold a party in the new house this weekend. Will you be free to join? You will be among the first bunch of visitors if you could come. Please tell me whether you are coming.
Yours,
Sam
2011-10-17
[]
作者: Htkfxwgc 时间: 2011-10-17 17:42
第二个task很难改啊
作者: 46gyhuhjh6 时间: 2011-10-18 02:20
LZ的水准MS不应该只有5左右徘徊啊。。。。。。
作者: 花开一世香 时间: 2011-10-18 09:30
叩谢各位热心的freeozer，你们太神勇了~！感觉很有收获！
回八神：你真是火眼金睛！
倒数第二段确实背的别人的。套用了for one thing... for another thing...句式，relax one's body and ease one's mind和broaden one's horizon背自小姨七天。小姨的写作结构貌似已成过街老鼠，所以现在只敢套用他推荐的词汇和句式。
Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your experience.
================================================
Children education is always a hot topic. Some people believe that children should be given enough time to relax while some others agree that children should be educated anytime, even when they play games. Personally, children should not be given too much games involved with education.
It is widely believe that children have excellent creativities and imaginations, which will be fastened by the monotonous education from adults. Ten children, for example, can have ten different imaginations to a simple pattern. It is no wonder that, however, the results from adults may be much fewer. The most important reason is that our minds are limited by the education we received.
It is also accepted that children have rights to do everything they like, rather than simply follow the orders from adults. There is no doubt that anyone has only one childhood to witness his or her happiness without any bother. Furthermore, the laws for protecting minors also say that it is illegal to force children to do anything they don’t willing.
Despite that educational games might teach children certain knowledge. Compared with the childhood-happiness they will not obtain anymore when they grow up, however, the knowledge they may learn from educational games is unworthy to mention. People can learn any knowledge anytime they like in the adult years.
In conclusion, children should have their own leisure time without too much educational factors. Not only will educational games fasten their minds, but also forcing children with certain activity is a kind of offense to their rights. They might, although, learn some knowledge in educational leisure activities, the happiness taken away from them will never return.
个人理解，雅思写作程序如下：
首先，审题。花费时间1-2分钟。一定要审题清楚啊。
Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your experience.
================================================
Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your experience.
================================================
How a child spend his spare time have great influence to his life afterward.(这句是背景) Educational activities indeed can be beneficial to him in terms of schooling, other ways of spending his free time can be essential as well.(点题了，也算表明了立场，准备开始写主体了)
Sports, the most significant form of pastime, can shape a child's strong build as well as healthy mind. (第一个观点提出)Those who spend regular time doing sports will inevitably enjoy better health conditions, which is crucial not only for children in school but for all people as well. Without a robust body, none of the children could be able to concentrate on their study. (论述sports对于身体的帮助)In addition, by doing sports with other peers, children will have better oppotunities to learn cooperation and competition, both of which are indispensable in their education as well as in their careers.(论述对于心灵的帮助)
Social affairs of all kinds, which teach children skills of handling interpersonal relationship, are also of great importance to them throughout their lives.(提出第二个观点，也就是第二个对于children有帮助的非educational的activities) Though dealing with relation with people does nothing contributive to our education purpose, yet those who know little about how to improve personal relation will definitely can hard times when they step into the ever-changing society. By comparison, those who is active and sophisticated in public affairs do have incredibly greater chances to succeed in their careers or study, thanks to their investment of their leisure time in gaining experience of dealing with people.(一正一反陈述两个examples，人际关系处理的好坏对于children今后生活的影响)
To sum up, dispite the facts that educational activities do futther develop children's knowledge in terms of study, reasonable expense of their leisure time in other activities is not wasting time but positive development of their lives. I believe that children who have better performance in any field will be no worse than a successful scholar by any means.(结尾，用summary的手法，表达观点，重申立场，展望未来)