Some people suggest that high school graduate students should go to universities to have higher education, but others encourage students to find jobs to meet the needs of the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.<br />
<br />
<br />
Currently, some press coverage that it is quite difficult for college students to have a decent job. A debate arises, then. High school students should go to universities to have higher education or find job after graduation.<br />
<br />
Some people take Bill Gates as an example to illustrate that one person could achieve success without university diploma. They reckon that work experience is more important than educational background. Bill took the computers to every family and computer changed the world. No one could doubt his achievement. Besides, students could contact various persons. College atmosphere is comparatively easy and comfortable, yet. The former is more beneficial for students.<br />
<br />
In contrast, other people hold opposite opinions. College experience is a crucial part of one’s life. Not only did students obtain friendship and love, but also they establish life belief and value recognition in the university. Despite the fact that not all the students could attain their ideal jobs, most of them take the college life as a precious memory.<br />
<br />
It is not easy to judge which choice is better. Different students have their own opinion in terms of their financial status, exam records, interests etc. Furthermore, due to the large amount of population, students are persuaded to take different method to reach their goals. Educational background and wealthy level are not key factors to judge a person’s success.<br />
<br />
In summary, both statements are reasonable. High school students should be encouraged to make their own decisions. Comprehensive factors should be considered and a great number of elements affect the final results.<br />
多多指点！
作者: tgyaqvj2b 时间: 2011-12-1 21:40
首先抱歉，最近每天都在跟我老公商量结婚的细节，到晚上九点已经困得脑袋不灵，随便点评两句吧。
感觉还是跑题了。题目里至少隐含了如下含义：1、education,work，这两个选择的利与弊。2、最后要给出自己的观点。疲倦不堪的小胖认为，全文从层次——意思的层次而非段落层次——上划分的话，就要针对work说education，针对education说work，这样做到不离题。到最后给出自己的观点呢，是因为你讨论过，而且两大方向都是很明显的利弊各占——这样还是能回到题目，证明题目合理性。所以就算half and half，也是需要给双方面一定支撑。但你前面的内容无关结论，结论的出现突兀生硬。
雅思的作文题其实都很有逻辑性，围绕题目写文章的话不难，中国考生还真是想得不对路子。
小胖简直是个宝， 说话又风趣又在点上， 每天上FREE 一大乐趣就是看你回帖了。
你考G 类吗？ 我觉得G类和A类作文有很大区别。 G类很宽泛， 像我这次考的
more and more people live alone now, do you thinkg it is negative or positve development? 我觉得宽得不行， 像一块饼， 不知从何下嘴 ， 小胖有啥思路
Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so medical service should be run by the government instead of profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private health care outweigh the advantages?
小胖来看看这题，很诡异，背景里介绍了政府来运营medical service ，但是问题里只提到 private health care ，你说文章里要不要分析政府运营的好处呢~
Health, like other elements such as education and freedom, is essential to people’s wellbeing. However, many private medical services are so expensive to afford by the poor people that some people argue that government should run the medical service in order to ensure that all people can access to it. This essay will analyse the advantages and disadvantages of private health service.
Obviously, the main weakness of private medical service is that it cannot cover the majority of people, especially the needy. As a basic right of human being, healthy care should available for all citizens equally. Most of private medical centers, however, are giving priority to profit rather than fulfilling the obligation of making people needing the medical care can access to them. In other words, people getting serious diseases would not be cured if they cannot afford the costs. That is why many people insist that government should take the responsibility to ensure all the citizens, no matter rich or poor, can receive treatment if they have got ills.
On the other hand, private health care is also beneficial to the society. For one thing, it can reduce the financial burden of the government. Admittedly, establishing a mature medical system for all people is a tough task for many governments owing to the limitation of budget. But private medical centers can fill this blank. For another thing, private medical service gives those people who are able to afford the addition costs an option besides the public medical center. Because most wealth people are tend to enjoy better service like private doctor or no-waiting hospital beds. All these services are only available by the private health center.
To sum up, although private medical service has its weakness, it still useful due to its special functions.
写了一下，希望没有跑题。。。
作者: 灵魂出翘 时间: 2011-12-5 20:03
没跑，厉害。
作者: 振雄山庄 时间: 2011-12-6 01:31
小胖你是学文学的吗，怎么感觉文学功底相当深厚啊，呵呵
作者: 漫街漫友 时间: 2011-12-6 10:08
Currently, some press coverage that, 语病，谓语？it is quite difficult for college students to have a decent job. A debate arises, then. High school students should go to universities to have higher education or find job after graduation 这句话不能构成全文的论述的发起点，只是就事论事.
缺Topic Sentence Some people take Bill Gates as an example to illustrate that one person could achieve success without university diploma. They reckon that work experience is more important than educational background. Bill took the computers to every family and computer changed the world. No one could doubt his achievement.， 与全文的讨论不相干，属于废话Besides, students could contact various persons.用词不准确contact，生硬，Chinglish College atmosphere is comparatively easy and comfortable, yet. The former is more beneficial for students. 句子之间的关系混乱，指代不清
In contrast, other people hold opposite opinions，看不出来opposite opinions是什么？因为上一段没有给出opinon；即使有，opposite是什么样的也很费解. College experience is a crucial part of one’s life. Not only did students obtain friendship and love, but also they establish life belief and value recognition in the university not only, but also似乎有语病？因为我几乎没用过倒装（我觉得华而不实不如不用），所以不敢肯定. Despite the fact that not all the students could attain their ideal jobs, most of them take the college life as a precious memory. 过于主观，没有说服力
It is not easy to judge which choice is better. Different students have their own opinion in terms of 这个短语用在这里不太合适，regarding更好 their financial status, exam records, interests etc. Furthermore, due to the large amount of population, students are persuaded to take different method to reach->realize their goals. Educational background and wealthy level are not key factors to judge a person’s success. 凑字数用的
In summary, both statements are reasonable. High school students should be encouraged to make their own decisions. Comprehensive factors should be considered and a great number of elements affect the final results，很生硬.
Some people suggest that high school graduate students should go to universities to have higher education, but others encourage students to find jobs to meet the needs of the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
题目解析和讨论：我们先看task words：discuss both views & give your opinion。要求我们讨论两种观点，然后给出看法。这意味我们需要进行比较和对比这两种观点了，不然何来‘看法’？ 两派观点我在我的那个帖子里，module 2后面2.7 Different points of view有过介绍。建议你回头看看。那里说的是在一个段落里比较两个观点的。这里可以用上也可以不用，重要的是你在阐述两派观点的时候要做到客观，不能写自己的看法！！！这个细节我帖子里面有介绍的，你可以抽空看看。
至于limit words：‘Some people suggest that high school graduate students should go to universities to have higher education’ 以及 ‘others encourage students to find jobs to meet the needs of the society’ 其实是很好理解的了。注意给每种观点一些合理的解释就行了，然后根据上述的布局谋篇的方案进行阐述。
Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so medical service should be run by the government instead of profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private health care outweigh the advantages?
小胖来看看这题，很诡异，背景里介绍了政府来运营medical service ，但是问题里只提到 private health care ，你说文章里要不要分析政府运营的好处呢~
limit words：disadvantages of private health care，advantages of private health care 以及 good health is a basic human need so medical service should be run by the government instead of profit-making companies。这里有个关键的地方private health care和profit-making companies有什么关系，是不是同一东西？如果根本没有任何关系，那么这道题目是有问题。因此这两个概念之间一定有密切的关系。大胆点，你把它们认为是等价的东西，可以相互替换的，然后进行讨论，应该也是没有问题的。这样看的话，是不是就很好讨论了？怎么论述，那还得看你的观点是什么，这就涉及到论证的技巧，小姨的10天作文里有很好的参考。这里不展开来说了。至于你担心的政府运营的好处是不是要写，这个其实不应该成为你审题的一个绊脚石。关键是看当你论述‘A outweigh B呢还是B outweigh A’的时候，你的论述能避开‘政府运营’这个概念吗？如果能完全避开，那么你不提政府运营的好处也没什么问题；但是如果政府运营和private health care是密切相关的东西，甚至是互补的东西，此时你的问题就不是问题了。
Health, like [other elements such as,delete] education and freedom, is essential to people’s wellbeing.加上一句过渡：Generally, health care can be provided either by the government or by private companies. However,突兀了，没有做好准备就跳过来；加上前面红色那句就顺畅多了。, many private medical services are so expensive to afford by the poor people that some people argue that government should run the medical service in order to ensure that all people can access to it. This essay will analyse the advantages and disadvantages of private health service. 有点淡而无味了。这里该开门见山提出观点：This essay will argue that there are more advantages of private health services than disadvantages.
[缺主题句：On the one hand, there are some weaknesses of private medical services.] Obviously->Specifically,, the main weakness of private medical service is that it cannot cover the majority of people, especially the needy. As a basic right of human being, healthy->healthcare should [be] available for->to更好？ all citizens equally. Most of private medical centers, however, are giving->give priority to profits rather than fulfilling the obligation of making [people needing the medical care can access to them,这句话值得斟酌，改起来比较费事]. In other words->As a result更贴切, people getting->suffering from serious diseases would not cured->be able to receive proper treatment in time if they cannot afford the costs->cost of private health services. That is why->Therefore, many->some people insist that government should take the responsibility to ensure all the citizens, no matter rich or poor, can receive treatment if they have got->get ills->ill.
On the other hand, private health care is also beneficial to the society. For one thing, it can reduce the financial burden of the government. Admittedly, establishing a mature medical system for all people is a tough task for many governments owing to the limitation of budget. But private medical centers can fill this blank. For another thing, private medical service gives those people who are able to afford the addition costs an option besides the public medical center. Because most wealth people are tend to enjoy better service like private doctor or no-waiting hospital beds. All these services are only available by the private health center.
To sum up, although private medical service has its weakness, it still useful due to its special functions.
没时间了。。。。只改这么多吧。基本功还是不错的，努力改进改进，6.5和7以上应该没问题。
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作者: hhfylwogsw 时间: 2011-12-8 16:06
不日结婚——具体日期不便透露，谢谢朋友们祝福，先请假了，回来再聊吧。
作者: 95后小花花 时间: 2011-12-8 19:20
Some people take Bill Gates as an example to illustrate...
感觉这个不地道吧，illustrate一般形容用图表来描述，这里用argue或简单的用show会不会更好呢？
作者: 1994950gca 时间: 2011-12-8 22:53
感觉最近作文有所长进，
第一：听了你的劝告下决心重新学了一遍语法，语法错误大为减少，遣词造句能力有所提高
第二：看了你的step by step，对整个文章结构及句子的内容和作用有了更深的认识
感激之情无以言表~祝一切顺利