2010年考过一次A类，4个6。。。好平均，两年没看过雅思了。最近动了移民澳洲的心思，需要考个G类，试写了一篇，自己觉得烂得不行，但不知道怎样提高。请各位拍砖指教。顺便给个客观点的评分，让我心里有个目标。BTW,我剥了4.21的考试，北京的<br />
<strong>Topic：<br />
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to live in an apartment.<br />
Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment.<br />
Give reasons for your answer and include ay relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.</strong><br />
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With the living condition getting improved in many countries, people can afford to live in a house,instead of living in an apartment.These two kinds of housing have their own advantages and disadvantages.<br />
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Living in a house gives people more room and space than living in an apartment, which could allow people to enjoy anything they are interested in without worrying about disturbing their neighbours. Also, most house are built with gardens and garages, therefore, people can relax their bodies and souls when they feel tired and stressed generated from job or other unpleasant things. And in modern cities, like Beijing, parking location is increasingly rare and hard to get when parking. Consequently, having a private garage looks more important , which would allow you not to spend much time on finding location to park.<br />
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However, there are some drawbacks to living in a house compared with living in an apartment, in my point of view. Normally, houses are built in countryside or some place where there are not neighbours around your house, which could make people feel lonely and get alienation from neighbours. What’s worse, people might get psychological problems due to less communication with other people. In contrast, people living in an apartment have more chances to communicate with others.<br />
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In conclusion, in my opinion, I would prefer to live in a house because more space ,private garage are priority for me when deciding where to live.
你看啊，题干问的是Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment. 关键词是：more/advantage/than/disadvantage/living/house/apartment。在这里面，我的感觉啊，最关键的是一个more和than.
所以，写的时候，或许应该是这样的：
body－P1： living in house 的各种advantage。同时，用一两句话点出living in house的disadvantage
body－P2： 让步+承接，承认living in house 的disadvantage恰恰是living in an apartment的advantage. 然后，立即转折，尽管living in apartment有这样一些有点，但是, 也有很多缺点啊，比如说。。。。。。
Conclusion：在我看来，因为什么什么对我来说最为重要，所以，即便living in house有一些小的缺点，但是它的优点还是远远大于其缺点的－点题
感谢大侠的详细点评。其实我当时脑子里只有一个大概的架构，里面的内容都是直接写的，还有语法小错误。您指出的主题句、让步＋承接、没有对Living in an apartment的描述不够都是这篇作文的致命缺点，我会在这几方面努力改进的.BTW，能被评价个6分我已经比较满意了，呵呵。因为我觉得短期内我4个6差不多，4个7估计够呛呢。再次感谢！