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标题: 求批作文,欢迎拍砖!!! [打印本页]

作者: hfcu6991    时间: 2011-11-24 17:18
标题: 求批作文,欢迎拍砖!!!


Shopping is becoming a way of entertainment. Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?<br />
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If you are a careful observer, you can find that shopping is becoming a way of entertainment. The question whether it is a positive development or not gets different answer from different people. In the following analysis, we can see that why they think or they don't think it is a positive development.<br />
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To start with, people who are fond of shopping insist that it is a good way for them to get relaxed. With the rapid development of economy and urbanization, a large number of shopping center are blooming in cities, witch combined with shopping, tourism, catering and recreation. It is becoming an ideal place for people to have fun. In addition, in this competitive society, people may easily become depressed because of the pressure in work and life. They believe that shopping can help them reduce pressure. What is more, they claim that they get a great sense of satisfaction when they buy something then want.<br />
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However, others who think this trend is a negative development say it may give rise to a series of problems. Firstly, there are worries about that young people spend a great amount of time on shopping which may affect their study. Secondly, some people, especially youngsters tend to impulse shopping, items they buy are not considered functional or necessary in their lives, which is a waste of money. Thirdly, too much shopping may disturb people’s work or life, and it makes difficult for them to focus on their work and life. <br />
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Nevertheless, whether positive or negative, the trend that shopping in becoming a way of entertainment is irresistible. What we must to is to make sure that we can consume rational, and make sure what we do is actually what we want do.




作者: hfcu6991    时间: 2011-11-25 03:25


这个样子能拿几分啊



作者: 灰色的天空611    时间: 2011-11-25 08:27


我感觉6到6.5吧,小作文写得好的,6.5应该还是会有的。基本功不错!!!

不过行文逻辑和连贯性方面还得加强,开头段结尾段还需要多show一下你的同义转换的功力,主体段的论证稍微再改进改进,7分就离你不远了



作者: 桃叶何渡    时间: 2011-11-25 09:05




一看就是受模版毒害很深的同学,所以不敢往高了说。
其实大家多花时间研究下范文,少看点国内名师的模版,那么出头之日就不远了。



作者: 无无心    时间: 2011-11-25 10:43


斗胆评一下6+



作者: rlar9003    时间: 2011-11-25 18:02


靠,早看到就好了,这简直是3月10日的考题啊







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