Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, sport stars, pop musicians )are paid too much money. <br />
Do you agree or disagree?Which other job should be highly paid? <br />
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Nowadays, entertaining market generates many famous person or stars, such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars. When they become famous, they earn much more money than other occupations, such as technology engineers, factory workers. Some people have the point of view that they are overpaid, which is unfair. But in my opinion I disagree with this view.<br />
As we all know, it is a very long period before the entertainer burst into being famous. People find that the actors become famous just by one film which is merely one hour and a half long. However, much of these actors face strict training and prepare for a long time before they appear on the stage. They are paid not just for their appearance in the film but also be paid for their efforts and hard working behind the stage. Moreover, everyone probably knows that the working life of a film star or pop star is not as long as other jobs, for example, workers. There is only a short time for them to be celebrities or to be paid much before they are forgotten by the audiences and other people. According to me, it is fair for them to earn a relatively huge amount of money in a short time before they disappear from the stage.<br />
When talking about who should be highly paid, I think it must be these who engaged in dangerous and of great importance to our society, for example, doctors and firefighters. These types of job require them having sense of devoting. In instance, firefighters need to place priority to other people’s safety and personal wealth regardless of his or her own. This job is very dangerous and makes huge contribution to our society. They should be encouraged and have higher social status.<br />
In conclusion, I want to reemphasize that entertainers are not paid too much and they should not be regarded that they earn money easily than other people. And people who have a dangerous and important job should be paid more money and be respected more highly than before.
作者: supsinfurtums 时间: 2012-3-26 03:15
只看了第一段
第一句的FAMOUS 和 PERSON OR可以不要 OR 换成AND。
第二句FACTORY WORKERS 前面加个AND。
第三句HOLD THE POINT OF VIEW.不用HAVE。
第四句加个逗号。
不知对不
作者: cqdvb 时间: 2012-3-26 14:04
person 复数还是person?
还有感觉重句这么多呢，我这个晕
再一个感觉虽然重句多，但句式变化少，词汇替换少，满篇的They太多了。试试换成其他的词看看啊