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标题: [第三篇大作文] 求批改,大部分参考simon简约小清新风格,谢谢论坛各位 [打印本页]

作者: rjunmsnw    时间: 2012-4-28 11:08
标题: [第三篇大作文] 求批改,大部分参考simon简约小清新风格,谢谢论坛各位


Employers now tend to prefer employees with good social skills in addition to good qualifications. Social skills are getting more and more important compared to qualifications. Do you agree or disagree?<br />
<br />
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With the increasing competition in the job market, it is true that employers should carefully filter the candidates by their differing attributes. In regard to both the social skills and good qualifications – the two main interdependent driving forces behind personal productivity, I believe that they are the equally essential characteristics of good employees, and I therefore disagree with the statement that social skills overweigh qualifications.<br />
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On the one hand, there are two reasons to believe that the excellent qualifications of employees have become necessities nowadays. From the education background prospective, the suitable university degrees can prove the candidates’ academic and theoretical capabilities. Thus, by prioritizing these qualities, employers can efficiently and objectively recruit suitable employees. From the working experience standpoint, those who have worked in the related industries will have the potential to ramp up more quickly and perform effectively. For instance, if the hiring managers choose the senior candidates with many years’ experience, these candidates probability can leverage their available experience and deal with the business innovatively.<br />
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On the other hand, the excellent social skills can considerably promote the both efficiency and effectiveness of communication and collaboration at the inter-cooperate level. First, the employees who have the desirable life skills tend to work more smoothly with the external customers and internal colleagues. In particular, without the sufficient communicative skills, the staff of the post-sale departments could likely misunderstand customers’ expectation due to the communication barrier. Second, by drawing on the better collaboration skill, such employees have high likelihood of having the better team work and mutual benefit spirits which are preferable to most companies in the service industry.<br />
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In conclusion, desirable qualifications and life skills alike are indispensable attributes of the high performance employees. Therefore, the argument that social skills prevail over qualities is ungrounded.<br />
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欢迎批改一定加分]




作者: fu465056    时间: 2012-4-28 20:29


总体感觉不错哈!



作者: rjunmsnw    时间: 2012-4-28 21:35


送去ielts-blog评分了。出了结果后在更新。继续准备下一篇文章了



作者: 疯子的紫梦    时间: 2012-4-28 22:54


On the one hand
似乎不对啊
On one hand



作者: rjunmsnw    时间: 2012-4-29 09:52


on the one hand是没错
参考:http://ielts-simon.com/ielts-hel ... essay.html#comments



作者: gc5o0r9p3    时间: 2012-4-29 14:42


总体感觉:
1、词汇很丰富、用法很多样;
2、逻辑安排合理

问题:
1、social skills overweigh qualifications. overweigh 应该是outweigh
2、these candidates probability can leverage their available experience and deal with the business innovatively.
candidates “probability ”can “leverage ”这句里面的意思没看明白。leverage 是名词吧?



作者: rjunmsnw    时间: 2012-4-29 23:17


我写错了!谢谢帮我指正
1. outweigh
2. probably (ad.) can leverage (v.)



作者: liwa1608    时间: 2012-4-30 02:56


leverage 现在已经演化成utilize或take advantage of 的装逼版,不过注意权威英文字典上的释义并未有增加。



作者: rjunmsnw    时间: 2012-4-30 04:23


谢谢中肯的评价 ,其实我也怀疑这个leverage可能不妥。我等待blog批阅后的结果吧。
学无止境 虚心求教

刚才又查了下朗文现代5,leverage的解释也是介于可与不可之间
LEVERAGE
to spread or use resources (=money, skills, buildings etc that an organization has available), ideas etc again in several different ways or in different parts of a company, system etc
-leverage something across something
e.g. Reusable software is leveraged across many applications.

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