Shopping is becoming a way of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?<br />
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It is believed that people is willing to buy things they like as they can afford. Hence, some of customers are shopping just for entertaining. The discussion of whether it is a positive development is of great concern for many people. From my point of view, it is always good if people have extra money for shopping which can brings them happiness instead of saving it in the bank.<br />
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Although many people subscribe to the belief that buys a host of things just for entertaining, is a big waste. This is in fact a common misconception that we need to clear up. Firstly, I would like to stress the definition of “waste”. It is undeniable that even we own many things but they are both valuable and useful, is not a kind of waste. It would be if we own them instead of never use. Secondly, we cannot judge how owner deal with the stuff they brought. It maybe donated to charity or something else. Therefore, we cannot say that buy a bunch of things back would be a waste.<br />
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Let me just give you a different perspective. It is universally acknowledged that the productivity would be increased by consuming behavior. It is act like a cycle – people buy things they need and more products would be produced. It would be horrible if just a few customers come to consume, obviously, this situation would lead to low productivity and some people would be unemployed. According to recent studies, high consumption rate can improve economics of the nation. For example, reported by BBC, the consumer index had increased 30 per cent in China last year and the GDP (Gross Domestic Product) also went up to 13% which amongst the world 's highest .<br />
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Given the above argument, it is reasonable to conclude that we do not have any evidence to certify shopping overweighed is a negative development. But in fact, it has many advantages. As a result, I am convinced that shopping becoming a way of entertainment is a positive development.<br />
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重写。。。。立志6分。。。。<br />
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Recent year, people spend increasingly money on shopping. Some expenses are used to buy necessities, while in others are just for entertaining. Thus there is a question concerned by individuals, which is whether whole society can be benefited from over-consumption? From my point of view, the answer is yes – that is to say, it is a positive development.<br />
<br />
First of all, over-consumption waste money is the most important aspect that a host of consumers are believed. But in fact, this conception is not totally correct. Firstly, it is not wasting that consumers buy something valuable and useful, even though they buy a vast number of commodities back and never use. For instance, purchase antiques. Secondly, we cannot arbitrarily conclude as there are various ways that individuals taking care of their personal goods wisely. Donation is a case in point. Therefore, over-consumption is nothing directly related to wasting.<br />
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In addition, it is universally acknowledged that the productivity will have increased by consuming behavior. Obviously, factories would produce more commodities in order to satisfy people’s needs if they had sold out. Meanwhile, mass consumption would encourage economic development as well. On the other hand, workers would lose their jobs as nothing needs produce. It is worth mentioning that the consumer index increased 30 per cent in China last year and she maintained a very high growth rate in terms of GDP, which reported by British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) two months ago.<br />
<br />
To sum up, shopping for entertainment makes great contribute to society, such as, stimulate economic development, although it might be true that it would cause wasting. Therefore, I am strongly believed that increasingly entertaining consumption is a positive development.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Recent year, people spend increasingly money on shopping. Some expenses are used to buy necessities, while in others are just for entertaining. Thus there is a question concerned by individuals, which is whether whole society can be benefited from extra consumption. From my point of view, the answer is yes – that is to say, it is a positive development.<br />
<br />
First of all, a host of consumers are believed that extra consumption waste money, and we should also notice that this issue is one of the most important aspects amongst all drawbacks. This is probably not true to some extent. Firstly, it is not wasting that consumers buy something valuable, even though they buy a vast number of commodities back and never use, because the investment can be recalled anytime. For instance, purchase antiques. Secondly, we cannot arbitrarily conclude since there are various ways that individuals taking care of their personal goods wisely. Donation is a case in point. Therefore, extra consumption is nothing directly related to wasting.<br />
<br />
In addition, it is universally acknowledged that the productivity will have increased by consuming behavior. Obviously, factories would produce more commodities in order to satisfy people’s needs if they had sold out. Meanwhile, mass consumption would encourage economic development as well. It is worth mentioning that the consumer index increased 30 per cent in China last year, so she maintained a very high growth rate in terms of GDP, which reported by British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) two months ago.<br />
<br />
To sum up, shopping for entertainment makes great contribute to society, such as, stimulate economic development, even though it might be true that it would cause wasting. Consequently, I am strongly believed that increasingly entertaining consumption is a positive development.<br />
<br />
<br />
[]
作者: 高家桩人 时间: 2012-4-10 07:47
Guys --> Buying ?
Is always being good --->. Is always good,
第一段逻辑不严密，entertainment与extra money的联系没有提到。
Subscribe to 的这个用法没见过，不过你也许用的是对的，也许是我水平不够
Clear up还是clean up?
Stress 这个有点chinglish，考虑是否改为clarify
Denote要改成被动语态。
Cannot define这句需要修改语法错误。
第三段第一句太口语化。第二句也有语法错误。
赶去上班，先说这么多。
建议楼主自己修改好后，在贴上来让高手也来参与修改。
作者: 随缘园 时间: 2012-4-10 19:24
It is believed that people is willing buy things they like as they can afford
It is believed that people is(are) willing 单复数问题
Let me just give you a different perspective 有点绕口可以换成 While on the other hand.
shopping becoming a way of entertainment is a positive development 这个可以换成if的虚拟从句，语法复杂可以拿分
我也是学生和你一样痛苦烤鸭中，楼主文章大概6-7分中间吧
Some children in rural places cannot have good schools and medical facilities. To improve this situation, some people suggest that new teachers and doctors should be sent to rural places for several years. Others, however, believe everyone has the free right to choose where to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is commonly believed that there are many aspects of the country relatively different to the city. As aging population and higher birth rate, people realise that the resources of education and medical are face the tendency -- less and less, especially for rural areas. Therefore, the discussion of whether should send new professionals to the place where need them most firstly is in full swing. This essay will argue that people should execution their duty voluntary instead of be forced.
First of all, it is undeniable that people should increase investment to rural places to improve the local situation, not only include facilities, but also talents. But unlike facilities which can be produced from factory with large amount, it is impossible to find enough teachers and doctors who can serve for all people around the nation. Hence, I would like to emphasis that it is unreasonable to send all new professionals to rural areas because this means the city would lacked of resources. It is possible that on one hand, we satisfy the requirement of countryside, but on the other hand, the city which with a big population would face more serious problem. Meantime, amongst all professionals, some of them are less experienced who may just graduate from university, can you image what will happen if we only send them to rural places? It is obviously that some student would not be well educated or some patient with horrible disease would miss the best chance to be healed because most of the professionals are not experienced.
Put it in another way, human rights are very important for everyone and protected by the government which means individuals have rights to select anything for themselves, including where they prefer to work at, of course. Therefore, people cannot force them to work in rural areas. Meanwhile, talents also will be negative if they doing anything they do not want. According to the research result from Tsinghua University (THU), the work efficiency of individuals who subject to mood swings can be 20% lower than normal one. Therefore, it is unreliable that send our hope to them in this situation.
To sum up, we need to balance the resources to rural areas and the city to fit all their required, particularly to balance the number of rich experienced and less experienced talents. Based on the facts above and we have to admit the importance of human rights, we really should not send the new professionals to specific place.
作者: 波兰至尊 时间: 2012-4-14 12:13
To be honest, as to me, I think your first essay would only score 6 or less. All over of your article, it's inundated with exaggeration and inappropriate hyposis, which goes totally astray from the requirement of accuration, which is a key to 7.
It seems to me that you have memorized a lot of good sentences but you used them impropriately in your article. For example, you mentioned about the definition of 'waste', but you really not clearly defined it in the immediate following sentense.
Besides, normally, you should not include too much reasoning in your first paragraph, it is for statement, with or without your personal opinion. To make it worse, your reasoning is inaccurate and inappropriate.
The 3rd paragrah is bad shaped because your first sentence of a paragraph should always clearly state your arguing point. You missed that.
In conclusion, please always bear in mind two most missed points by Chinese candicates, including me, the ACCURATION and CONCISION.
作者: kzpcl733 时间: 2012-4-14 19:33
Same thing happens in your Essay two.
In your openning paragraph, you try to make it more vivid by broaden the area, but many of then is irrelavant with your article. If I want to do that, I would start with any subject from (children in rural places, good schools and medical facilities) but not from the difference between city and rural area, that is not your topic.
And you really think high birth rate is relevant?
作者: psikd7r0l5 时间: 2012-4-15 06:09
wow, thanks for your advise, I will check them and try to improve my skills.
作者: psikd7r0l5 时间: 2012-4-15 14:54
Some people think that examinations have some bad effects on both students and teachers. Some people say they do a good job in the evaluation of the students’ performance. What is your opinion?
The global education system has been developed over 2 thousand years. Although there are many differences between each nation, but there is one aspect surprising consensus on the examination – it has been kept in almost every country until now. Recently, some people question about the effect of examination and think it makes negative impact to both students and teachers. From my point of view, the positive effect is greater than negative one.
It is commonly believed that not only students but also teachers spend more time and energy if there is an examination which both of them need prepared. People may think it is an extra pay and it would be better if we take advantage of this period time to learn more knowledge, but I am not wholly agree with this opinion. The key point is, we cannot build a skyscraper without solid foundation, which means students need review the knowledge they learnt before (via examination) and confirm they handle it well first. It would be meaningless if teacher continue teach students new knowledge regardless of care about whether listeners can master the theory. For instance, people suggest pupils to learn more about advanced mathematics, but meantime, they are not an expert in four arithmetic operations. How they can achieve that? Therefore, it is worth to spend some time on examination to evaluate whether students master the knowledge well in order to figure the strategy of study out.
Furthermore, it is obviously that most nations reserve the examination in their education system due to several benefits. Firstly, the result of good performance can encourage students keep learning hardly. Secondly, students may realise some weak aspects and they can reinforce the knowledge. Last but not least, teachers can help individuals who need tutoring the most via examination. It is worth mentioning that according to research result of World Association for Educational Research (WAER) shows the graduation rates would be increased along with the increase in the number of examinations.
To sum up, the examination has both positive and negative aspects which affect students and teachers. But we can ignore some bad effects if we consider the importance of it. Hence, in general, the advantages we achieved by examination are outweigh the disadvantages.
[]
作者: zikao115 时间: 2012-4-15 17:23
A good openning paragraph now for article3. I think it can get 6 But
What is your point in paragraph 2? You are trying to discuss the advantage of exam? If yes, why the first sentence shows opposit? If NO, why the following sentences is talking about should have exam? I'm so confused.
the example you give for paragraph3 is not valid. Other shool don't improve teaching skill from exam? If yes, why they are not the best?
作者: psikd7r0l5 时间: 2012-4-16 05:10
I have not find any sentence express the meaning of 'should attend exam' in paragraph 2 ....
And update paragraph 3 by add 'it's tested by weekly', do you think it's OK?
作者: 恭喜喜 时间: 2012-4-16 11:39
你第二段是想说 exam的 disadvantage是吧.应该是,因为你第三段说的是advantage, 而且还 on the other hand.
这句话是什么意思? People may think it is an extra pay and it would be better if we take advantage of this period time to learn more knowledge, but I am not wholly agree with this opinion. 前面说应该不考试, 后面说你不同意这个观点, so, 你在说应该考试. 应该考试难道是因为它的disadvantage? 同样,你这一段后面全部都在说应该考试
It is commonly believed that not only students but also teachers spend more time and energy if there is an examination which both of them need prepared. 人们普遍相信如果学生和老师需要准备考试那么他们都需要付出额外的时间和精力. People may think it is an extra pay and it would be better if we take advantage of this period time to learn more knowledge, but I am not wholly agree with this opinion. 同时大家也许认为这是一个额外的付出,我们可以用这段时间去学习更多的知识. The key point is, we cannot build a skyscraper without solid foundation, which means students need review the knowledge they learnt before (via examination) and confirm they handle it well first. 关键在于,我们建造摩天大楼的时候不能缺失坚固的基础. It would be meaningless if teacher continue teach students new knowledge regardless of care about whether listeners can master the theory. 老师不断教学生新的知识而不顾他们的掌握情况是毫无意义的. For instance, people suggest pupils to learn more about advanced mathematics, but meantime, they are not an expert in four arithmetic operations. 例如,人们建议小学生学习高等数学,但是同时他们都不能掌握四则运算. How they can achieve that? 他们如何学好高数? Therefore, it is worth to spend some time on examination to evaluate whether students master the knowledge well in order to figure the strategy of study out. 所以, 花时间在考试上去估计学生是否已经掌握完全并制定学习策略是值得的.
It is commonly believed that not only students but also teachers spend more time and energy if there is an examination which both of them need prepared. 人们普遍相信如果学生和老师需要准备考试那么他们都需要付出额外的时间和精力.
it is commonly believed that to prepare for exams, not only students but also teachers would have to take great extra efforts, which however could have been utilized in learning new chapters of knowledge. 蓝色的这半句可以用来取代下一段。
People may think it is an extra pay and it would be better if we take advantage of this period time to learn more knowledge, but I am not wholly agree with this opinion. 同时大家也许认为这是一个额外的付出,我们可以用这段时间去学习更多的知识.
extra pay 用在这里我觉得不顺啊。可以考虑这样写，people may think this cost of time or effort unnecessary, because it can be better utilized in learning more new knowledge instead.
The key point is, we cannot build a skyscraper without solid foundation, which means students need review the knowledge they learnt before (via examination) and confirm they handle it well first. 关键在于,我们建造摩天大楼的时候不能缺失坚固的基础.
It would be meaningless if teacher continue teach students new knowledge regardless of care about whether listeners can master the theory. 老师不断教学生新的知识而不顾他们的掌握情况是毫无意义的.
For instance, people suggest pupils to learn more about advanced mathematics, but meantime, they are not an expert in four arithmetic operations. 例如,人们建议小学生学习高等数学,但是同时他们都不能掌握四则运算. How they can achieve that? 他们如何学好高数?
以上关于摩天大楼和高数的举例，总觉得非常CHINGLISH啊，估计老外跟不上你的思路的。
Therefore, it is worth to spend some time on examination to evaluate whether students master the knowledge well in order to figure the strategy of study out. 所以, 花时间在考试上去估计学生是否已经掌握完全并制定学习策略是值得的.
Therefore, it is definitely worthwhile to invest time and effort on holding examination, which for the moment turns out to be a very cost-effective approach to evaluate students' learning progress, so that corresponding teaching methods could be figured out accordingly.
Sports are very popular in today's society. Some people believe, "Winning is the only thing." Others believe, “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game. “What is your opinion?
It is a diverse field of entertainment which includes a host of elements – singing, dancing, painting, and so on. Sports, the extremely attractive one, have been concerned by people like always, especially athletic competitions. The problem asked and confused by both audiences and contestants recently is, what the most important aspect for whole contest is, process or result? Based on the spirit of athletic sports, I believed strongly that win the victory is the most important pursue in sports field.
First of all, people continuously improve their abilities and skills via pursuit the goal (championship) and struggle with it, which also is the one of the most important aspect to reflect the true meaning of sportsmanship. It is impossible to achieve the goal without keep practices on not only skills, but also willpower. The desire for victory makes you remain keen to continually reinventing ourselves. According to the result of research which held by National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) shows that the speed of enhance ability individually is far beyond the contestant who eager to win relative to who have not realized it. Therefore, fight for victory is the fount of self-improvement and people are benefited from it at the same time.
Moreover, winning brings us cheerful spirit and reward which both of them are pretty compelling for everybody. It is commonly believed that it would be delightful when people achieve success (be no exception to sports field). More often than not we can feel it from victors or by yourself when you stand on the top of the world which this can be more vividly. Besides, it is universally acknowledged that the prize has become an indispensable part of winning. You may not believe what happened in last game of National Basketball Association (NBA) -- the $2 million first-place prize that was neatly stacked on the table belonged to champion team. Hence, the double joys which winning affords us are seemed to be indisputable.
Given the above argument, it is reasonable to conclude that there are numerous benefits of try to being a winner, not only it can improve our abilities via self-motivation, but also gain the rewards on both joyful spirit and material objects. As a result, winning is everything.
The sports activity is an indispensable part amongst kinds of the world level competitions. Some people argue that the end result is superior to the process; while others do not think so. In terms of the argument, in my stance, both of them are equally important, it means ending and processes are both meaningful in the sports activity.
First of all, good ending encourage and motivate sportsmen be more successful. The reason is good ending can bring honor to contestants. The advantage is obvious -- it can motivate the sportsman strict and discipline, that is to say, they will practice over and over in order to achieve next glories goals. For instance, the champion has staying confident and wants retain the championship, therefore, the huge self-motivation is plays an immeasurable role here. Besides, as some professional athletes could earn prize money according to the gold, silver or bronze medal, so the bonus satisfy their economic needs which also can incentive them to practice harder.
Meanwhile, it is impossible that sportsmen achieve success without the wonderful process. Excellent process, like reassurance, better enhance the confidence of athletes step by step. Actually, the end result would take care of itself if the sportsman fulfills their potential and act the process rightly. On the other hand, although bad process is the barrier of the good ending, it is still useful that analysis the details during process in order to better self-improvement specifically. It is well-known that tennis team of China had failed 5 times during international competitions, but they won the 6th via keep fixed the gaps they had made in last 5 games.
To sum up, it is true that end result is important and significant to sportsman, but the process is also a key factor. Therefore, good ending and wonderful process are located in same position in sports activity.
Shopping is becoming a way of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Recent year, people spend increasingly money on shopping. Some expenses are used to buy necessities, while in others are just for entertaining. Thus there is a question concerned by individuals, which is whether whole society can be benefited from over-consumption? From my point of view, the answer is yes – that is to say, it is a positive development.
First of all, over-consumption waste money is the most important aspect that a host of consumers are believed. But in fact, this conception is not totally correct. Firstly, it is not wasting that consumers buy something valuable and useful, even though they buy a vast number of commodities back and never use. For instance, purchase antiques. Secondly, we cannot arbitrarily conclude as there are various ways that individuals taking care of their personal goods wisely. Donation is a case in point. Therefore, over-consumption is nothing directly related to wasting.
In addition, it is universally acknowledged that the productivity will have increased by consuming behavior. Obviously, factories would produce more commodities in order to satisfy people’s needs if they had sold out. Meanwhile, mass consumption would encourage economic development as well. On the other hand, workers would lose their jobs as nothing needs produce. It is worth mentioning that the consumer index increased 30 per cent in China last year and she maintained a very high growth rate in terms of GDP, which reported by British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) two months ago.
To sum up, shopping for entertainment makes great contribute to society, such as, stimulate economic development, although it might be true that it would cause wasting. Therefore, I am strongly believed that increasingly entertaining consumption is a positive development.
[]
作者: 疯浪淘金 时间: 2012-4-21 02:07
同一天雅思的，作文5.5，鼓励下。
作者: psikd7r0l5 时间: 2012-4-21 05:16
Sports are very popular in today's society. Some people believe, "Winning is the only thing." Others believe, “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game. “What is your opinion?
The sports activity is an indispensable part amongst kinds of the world level competitions. Some people argue that the end result is superior to the process; while others do not think so. In terms of the argument, in my stance, both of them are equally important, it means ending and processes are both meaningful in the sports activity.
First of all, good ending encourage and motivate sportsmen be more successful. The reason is good ending can bring honor to contestants. The advantage is obvious -- it can motivate the sportsman strict and discipline, that is to say, they will practice over and over in order to achieve next glories goals. For instance, the champion has staying confident and wants retain the championship, therefore, the huge self-motivation is plays an immeasurable role here. Besides, as some professional athletes could earn prize money according to the gold, silver or bronze medal, so the bonus satisfy their economic needs which also can incentive them to practice harder.
Meanwhile, it is impossible that sportsmen achieve success without the wonderful process. Excellent process, like reassurance, better enhance the confidence of athletes step by step. Actually, the end result would take care of itself if the sportsman fulfills their potential and act the process rightly. On the other hand, although bad process is the barrier of the good ending, it is still useful that analysis the details during process in order to better self-improvement specifically. It is well-known that tennis team of China had failed 5 times during international competitions, but they won the 6th via keep fixed the gaps they had made in last 5 games.
To sum up, it is true that end result is important and significant to sportsman, but the process is also a key factor. Therefore, good ending and wonderful process are located in same position in sports activity.
[]
作者: psikd7r0l5 时间: 2012-4-21 12:25
Some people say the popularity of English and tourism will harm the minorities and minor languages, to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
With globalization process, the common language - English has been using by a great amount of people, especially used by tourists who travel around the world. Some scholars point that the rapidly globalization development would harm minority cultures (minorities and minor languages), while in my opinion, it is not entirely true.
It is generally acknowledged that tourists bring newly information and their own thoughts to minorities via English, and this behavior affect local culture. Firstly, minorities would learn English if they need communicate with tourists. As the trend of increasing using proportion, minor languages would gradual disappear if minorities get used to speak English. Secondly, people always enhance themselves initiatively when they have been told there is a better way. The information minorities got, makes them thought deeply. Meanwhile, it might change their traditional life style, such as, use lighter to make fire instead of drill woods. Therefore, tourism and English are really impacting local surroundings negatively.
On the other hand, minority’s culture and minor languages have been concerning by increasing number of individuals because tourism make people get better understand how important to protect them. Governments and individuals are willing to invest in this field due to the well understanding. Based on such circumstance, both of them are protected by powerful supportive which can ensure the culture will never disappear.
In conclusion, it is the truth that minorities and minor languages have been affecting harmful. But, I am strongly believed that it is impossible for has negative influence only, because they are getting an enormous benefit from tourism as well.
The common language - English has been using by a great number of people with globalization, especially used by tourists who travel around the world. Some people pointed the rapidly globalization development would harm minority cultures (mainly in minorities themselves and minor languages), while I think, it is not quite true.
Tourists brought variety of information and their own thoughts to minorities by English when they traveled to other nation. In this case, it had affected local culture for sure. Firstly, minorities would learn English if they should communicate with tourists. As the proportion of used English rise continuously, minor languages would gradual disappear. Secondly, people always heighten themselves actively when they have been told they can do better. The newly information minorities known, makes them reconsider problems and try something new. That is to say, it might change their traditional life style, such as, use lighter to make fire instead of drill woods. Therefore, tourism and English are impacting local surroundings negatively in some extent.
On the other hand, minority’s culture and minor languages have been concerned with an increasing number of individuals, because tourism has been making people get better understand the importance of protect them. Governments and individuals are willing to invest in this field due to well understanding. According to such circumstance, both of them are protected by powerful supportive and it benefits minority cultures.
In conclusion, it is true that minorities and minor languages have been affecting harmful. But, I am insist that whole event should not has negative influence only, because they are getting an enormous benefit from tourism as well.
The common language - English has been using by 应该是被动 a great amount of people with globalization process, especially used by tourists who travel around the world. Some scholars pointed 指出应该是point out, 而且这里用过去式也不合适，that the rapidly 这里不应用副词 globalization development would harm minority cultures (mainly in minorities themselves 这个没懂你想表达什么 and minor languages), while in my opinion, it is not entirely true.
Tourists brought variety of information and their own thoughts to minorities via English when they traveled to other nations. 没有必要用过去式 In this case, it had affected local culture for sure.没必要过去完成时，完成时即可 Firstly, minorities would learn English if they should communicate with tourists. As the proportion of used English 这个很怪，你应该是想说 English User 吧 rise 应该加s continually, minor languages would gradual 这里倒是应该用副词了disappear. Secondly, people always enhance themselves initiatively 这句什么意思? when they have been told they can do better. The newly information minorities known, 不解 makes them reconsider problems and try something new. That is to say, it might change their traditional life style, such as, use using lighter to make fire instead of drill drilling woods. Therefore, tourism and English are really impacting local surroundings negatively in 应该是to some extent.
先保证把句子写对，然后才能看如何去写好。
作者: psikd7r0l5 时间: 2012-4-22 16:42
多谢大侠多次相助，这初中不好好学习又没读过高中的人，真是伤不起。。。。。
作者: psikd7r0l5 时间: 2012-4-23 00:40
You have been experiencing problems with the local public transport. Write a letter to the manager of the public transportation services and say:
- How have you used the local public transport?
- What problems have you experienced?
- Suggest how they can improve the service.
Dear Mr. Hanson,
My name is Dick Wang and I go to the office from home by public transport every day. I am writing this letter to flinging out two suggestions, because the service you offered has disappointed me a little.
I prefer to take the bus to the company at 7 in the morning everyday as there is a bus station close to my apartment. But I had found the bus came by hourly since last month. That is to say, I would have to wait next one for an hour if I miss the schedule. In my opinion, the time gap is too long, especially during rush hour. I missed one last Friday and I was late for work with no doubts, because there was no other public transport could take.
My suggestions are: adjust the frequency on bus arriving in 20-minute intervals and add a new one which can take passengers to the closest subway station. It is important for individuals who live around here because we do not have other public transport nearby.
Neighbors would appreciate if you consider my suggestions seriously. Please let me know the decision you made. I am looking forward for your reply.
Yours Sincerely,
Dick Wang
[]
作者: q0i9kbfe5 时间: 2012-4-23 04:02
Thanks
作者: psikd7r0l5 时间: 2012-4-23 13:38
You have recently made a purchase from the local department store. However, when you arrived home, you found a fault with it. Write a letter to the manager, say what the product is, explains the problem and say what you'd like to be done about it.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to ask returning the CD player which I bought yesterday.
I came into your store and purchased a CD player back in yesterday afternoon. The CD player is produced by SONY and the type is BXD-9141. This CD player worked fine at first, but it was broken after 20 minutes. Certainly, there is no mishandling during the operation. While it should work well and play music continuously, the disc stop rolling and the player’s body is unusually hot. What I thought first was the CD did not work, so I changed another one. Unfortunately, it could not work either.
For now, return the CD player is all I ask. It is universally acknowledged the poor quality is the only reason which lead to the CD player broken itself. Were you prefer a refund, I would accept it. On the other hand, you would change a new one free of charge.
Please let me know any progresses regarding to this; I look forward for your reply.
Yours sincerely,
Jane Wang
作者: ksy7m6v5z 时间: 2012-4-23 15:03
临睡前，上来打击一下楼主：（，反正我也是在攻写作。
基本Follow楼主的思路修改了一下第一段，因为不是我自己熟悉的思路，所以难免差错请各位斧正。
Shopping is becoming a way of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Recent year, people spend increasingly money on shopping. Some expenses are used to buy necessities, while in others are just for entertaining. Thus there is a question concerned by individuals, which is whether whole society can be benefited from over-consumption? From my point of view, the answer is yes – that is to say, it is a positive development.
>> In recent years, increasingly more people are shopping for entertainment rather than to buy what they really need. Nevertheless, as to whether this trend is positive or negative, people retain diverse attitudes. Personally, I reckon that the benefits of this phenomenon overweigh its drawbacks.
下面的论证逻辑不通顺啊，题目让你论证娱乐，你说的是过度消费啊。
First of all, over-consumption waste money is the most important aspect that a host of consumers are believed. But in fact, this conception is not totally correct. Firstly, it is not wasting that consumers buy something valuable and useful, even though they buy a vast number of commodities back and never use. For instance, purchase antiques. Secondly, we cannot arbitrarily conclude as there are various ways that individuals taking care of their personal goods wisely. Donation is a case in point. Therefore, over-consumption is nothing directly related to wasting.
task response:
• addresses all parts of the task
• presents a clear position throughout the response
• presents, extend and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus.
coherence and cohesion
• logically organizes information and ideas, there is clear progression throughout
• lises a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-or over use
• presents a clear topic within each paragraph
lexical resource
• uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
• uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
• may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation
Grammatical range and accuracy
• uses a variety of complex structures
• produces frequent error-free sentences
• has good control of grammar and punctuation but may make a few mistake
作者: psikd7r0l5 时间: 2012-4-24 00:08
Shopping is becoming a way of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In present-days society, people spend large amounts of money on shopping. Some expenses are used to buy necessities, while others are just for entertaining. Thus there is a question concerning by individuals: whether whole society benefited from entertainment expenditure? From my point of view, the answer is yes – that is to say, it is a positive development.
Although many people subscribe to the belief that entertaining consumptions waste money, this is in fact a common misconception that we need to clear up. Firstly, wasting is not that consumers buy something in terms of valuable and useful, even though they buy a vast number of commodities back and never use. For instance, people collect numbers of antiques as they pretty enjoy the collection. Secondly, we cannot arbitrarily conclude whether shopping for entertainment would be a waste as there are various selections for individuals to taking care of their personal goods wisely. Donation is a case in point. Therefore, the entertaining consumption is nothing directly related to the wasting.
Meanwhile, it is universally acknowledged that the entertaining consumptions would stimulate economic development. Obviously, factories would produce more commodities in order to satisfy people’s needs if all goods were sold out. In other words, mass expenditures on entertainment would encourage productivity, and then it would lead to rapid economic growth. It is worth mentioning that the consumer index increased 30 percent in China last year and she maintained a very high growth rate in terms of GDP, which reported by the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) two months ago.
To sum up, although some people believe that shopping for entertainment would cause wasting, it is undeniable that it makes a great contribution to society, such as, stimulate economic development. Therefore, it is reasonable to conclude that increasingly entertaining consumptions are positive to the development.
上一个版本给出去批改结果为5.5分,以下部分为根据批改老师修改的版本:
In present-day society, people spend large amounts of money on shopping. Some expenses are made to buy necessities, while others are just for desire and pleasure. Thus, there is a question concerning individuals: whether or not whole society benefits from shopping which is done as a form of entertainment? From my perspective, the answer is yes – that is to say, it is a positive development.
Although many people subscribe to the belief that often times shopping is a waste of money, this is in fact a common misconception that we need to clear up. Firstly, wasting is not the same as consumers buying something valuable and useful, even though they buy a vast number of commodities that they never use. For instance, people collect numbers of antiques as a hobby or investment. Secondly, as there are various selections for owners to taking care of their personal goods in an elegant way, we cannot arbitrarily conclude that spend money on obtaining pleasure is a waste. The donation is a case in point. Therefore, the consumption of the entertainment is nothing directly related to the wasting.
Meanwhile, it is universally acknowledged that the consumptions would stimulate economic development. Obviously, factories would produce more commodities in order to satisfy people’s needs if all goods were sold out. In other words, shopping as an entertaining activity would encourage productivity, and then it would lead to rapid economic growth.
To sum up, although some people believe that shopping as a mean of entertainment would cause wasting, it is undeniable that costs on entertainment makes a great contribution to society, such as, stimulate economic development. Therefore, it is reasonable to conclude that the trend towards shopping becoming a way of entertainment is a positive development.
Recent year, people spend increasingly money on shopping. Some expenses are used to buy necessities, while in others are just for entertaining. Thus there is a question concerned by individuals, which is whether whole society can be benefited from extra consumption. From my point of view, the answer is yes – that is to say, it is a positive development.
Nowadays, an interesting phenomenon that people are willing to spend more and more money on shopping not for buying goods they need but for chasing the addictive desires causes many people’s concern. Some of them think that excessive consumption could stimulus economy and then the whole society would benefit from it; while others point out over consumption would result in many negatives and do harm to the whole society in medium-and-long term. And I agree with the idea that excessive consumption should not be encouraged.
1. 我觉得应该是recent years
2. increasingly money应该是increasing 吧
3. 第二句用主动语态是不是比较好？Some is used to buy necessities, while some other is for entertaining. (感觉像是说一部分用来买生活必需品，另一部分花在日常娱乐上了，应该是用错了词)
4. 第三句好像有语法错误,而且中国式“于是，一个问题产生了，英语很少这种表述吧？”。英语高手来指出吧。而且定语从句一定要紧跟被修饰的词的，which引导的是修饰的是question,但是中间隔了那么多东西，是很严重的语法错误。Thus, many people doubt whether or not excessive consumption could benefit the whole society in medium-an-long term.
5. In my opinion, excessive consumption would (下面想说几点，这里就阐述几个观点)； that is to say……(that is 前面用分号，是语法要求，不要乱用标点符号)
In present-days society, people spend large amounts of money on shopping. Some expenses are used to buy necessities, while others are just for entertaining. Thus there is a question concerning by individuals: whether whole society benefited from entertainment expenditure? From my point of view, the answer is yes – that is to say, it is a positive development.
present-day society（没见过这种用法），很陌生
a large amount of +uncountable noun
money在前面，后面最好别用expenses这类复数形式。 some is used to……
thus, (请查语法书确定一下，我觉得thus后面要加逗号)
there is +doing的结构在这里很怪。为什么不用主动语态。如果要用冒号，我觉得应该是question: ……中间不要夹杂太多东西
whether (the) whole society benefits (为什么用过去式？)
entertainment expenditure娱乐支出（娱乐产业？？？你要讨论的是shopping中的过度消费，花钱找快感，第一段就摁偏题了）
that is to say前面标点错了。第一段没必要通过that is to say 来展开论述，而且，最好用that is 就行了。用这类没意义的词来凑字数是不行的，可能会招致反感。
More and more employees work at home with modern technology. Some people claim that it benefits only workers, but not employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, as high technology develops rapidly, people work at home instead of going to the office. As more employees prefer working in this way, employers, who paid to employees, consider finally that whether companies could benefit from it.
Although commonly believed that the home office is beneficial to employees only, this is actually not the case. As a matter of fact, not only employers but employees benefit from the way the home work.
It is obvious that individuals feel more comfortable and convenient when they work at home. Firstly, that surrounding from home was familiar by homeowners. Generally, people work in a good mood and feel easeful if they stay in a well-known environment. Secondly, time arrangement becomes more reasonable. If there are no tasks assigning to employees, they could do anything they want, such as play basketball in the backyard or do house works. On the other hand, they work at night for emergency arrangements. Last but not least, employees save their time on transportation. Of course we do not need extra time on driving to the office; we turn on the laptop and the work begins.
Meanwhile, as employees prefer flexible working which involve home working, the cooperation benefit from it as well. Were employees working from home, employers not only could save office expenses but also would extend the time of employee’s work relatively. As we all know, it costs a lot of money if people work in office because employers have to pay the different kind of bills in terms of electricity, rent and phone. Consequently, the company could save part of it if employees work at home. Similarly, while employees who come to the office by public transport begin to work, others who work at home have worked an hour already. Therefore, the way the home office makes employees to working extra hours.
Given the above argument, it is reasonable to conclude that working at home is both beneficial to employers and employees.
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作者: vuosa3r9t5 时间: 2012-4-25 12:59
只看第一段
语法的错误有
instead of doing
employees prefer doing
thus这句和前句之间不构成因果关系
consider 后面的that删除
whether their companies could benefit from the trend单复数错了
Wild animals have no place in the 21st century. Some people think that preventing these wild animals from dying out is a waste of resource. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.
In recent years, the living area of humankind is expanding fast, since the global population growing rapidly. In relative terms, the territory of wildlife's activities has narrowed dramatically. In this case, some people try to save them because wildlife was being threatened. Although conventional wisdom has it that spend abundant money and resources on saving wild animals from dying is worthless, the reality of the situation is often far more complicated than that.
Firstly, wildlife protection is to protect precious natural resources and it is very important. In any event, we have to remain species diversity as every one of them is playing a key role in the food chain. Moreover, there are imitating interactions amongst different species and the dying out of a particular species will definitely influence on survival of others. What is obvious is that human finally could be the victim. Consequently, saving the rare wild animals has a great value.
Secondly, mankind has obligations to save wild animals, not only because we cut down forests, thereby expanding the areas and it lead to environmental destruction at the same time, which this kind of action seriously affect the sustainable living environment of wildlife, but also due to hunting them on purpose.
Last but not least, the present generation of people should think about the legacy, which will be inherited by descendants. In fact, the unspoiled environment, and the existence of wild animals is one of the most essential contributions to the future generations of people.
To sum up, owing to we take many factors into consideration, such as: the future of humanity, the importance of maintaining species diversity, and our duties, I am convinced that we ought to protect wild animals as much as possible.
[]
x
作者: psikd7r0l5 时间: 2012-4-26 12:02
Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to new generation companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree? Give your reasons and personal experience.
In present-day society, as the global recession continues, it becomes harder for the graduated students to find a suitable job. Some people claim that granting that elders retire earlier, the new generation would obtain more opportunities. To my mind, however, I do not wholly agree with it.
On the one hand, it is true that youngsters can take advantage of the circumstance that senior employees quit their job earlier. Obviously, the company will gain more headcount to hire younger employees. That is to say, junior candidates will access to more opportunities to get an offer and the competitions amongst them will be less intense. Simultaneously, as the high level colleagues’ leaving, the youngster who had hired by the company already will promote to senior level. As a result, the salary and individual welfare thus be increased. Hence, it is undeniable that the younger generation does take advantage of elder’s early retirement.
On the other hand, some serious problems occur when companies encourage high level employees to leave. Even though the company will have a chance to hire some new employees who do not need pay big salaries for, thereby reducing labor cost, but companies still lose abundant money on dismissal wage. Besides, the company has to face the risk of promoting junior staffs because they do not have rich relevant experiences and nobody knows whether they can do the same excellent job as their ex-colleagues or not. Notably, it is too late to find a qualified mentor for the new heads because the perfect teachers had left already.
Given the above argument, it is reasonable to conclude that advantages and disadvantages are coexisting when companies encourage senior employees to take early retirement. Consequently, I am convinced that the company should take into serious consideration before taking the action.