作文ID：20120622
题目：Some say that secondary school tend to spend less time on traditional subjects such as history and should spend more time on communication skill and business courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it? 题目结束
It is true that education has become a priority for the majority of students seeking to secure a bright future for their lives. In regard to the disciplines of secondary school, such as conventional course, communication techniques and business knowledge, I disagree that modern courses prevail over than the traditional ones. Therefore, I tend to believe that they are equally imperative for the young learners to acquire.
On the one hand, there are many reasons to believe that traditional courses are indispensable necessities for secondary school students. First, these disciplines could foster the students to have the primary capacity of the literacy. For instance, learning local and foreign languages have the potential to further the young learners’ skills which enable them to use language fluently. Consequently, such reading, writing and listening skills are more likely to enrich their work and life. Second, the courses, like history and geography have higher likelihood of cultivating the youngsters to gradually appreciate of the sense of national pride. In particular, if the students could learn their countries historic heroes and marvelous landscape, they would deeply love their countries and spontaneously devote their lives to them after graduation.
On the other hand, some other majors also play a pivotal role in secondary school education. First of all, the communication skill has become a significant course for most students because such life skills could enormously dominate the social relationship and academic study of the students. In particular, without good communicative capability, the young learners could not acquire the academic knowledge from the educators and their peers efficiently and effectively. Meanwhile, awkward language skills may hinder the youths to establish friendship with their counterparts and adults. Moreover, secondary school students should learn the business courses since such knowledge has been one of the important employable skills for most school graduates. Therefore, secondary schools should considerably prioritize this course at the early age of the students.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the conventional courses, communicative skill and business courses are equally important for secondary school to gain as a whole, in terms of the significance of their considerable impacts on both the work and life of the youths. In this sense, I disagree that modern courses outweigh the traditional ones.
作文ID：20120622
题目：Some say that secondary school tend to spend less time on traditional subjects such as history and should spend more time on communication skill and business courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it? 题目结束
It is true that education has become a priority for the majority of students seeking to secure a bright future for their lives. In regard to the disciplines of secondary school, such as conventional course, communication techniques and business knowledge, I tend to agree that they are equally imperative for the young learners to acquire.
红色部分跟题目没有任何关系 ，自然对于得分也就没有关系。
文章第一段，一般来说有几个内容建议加入，点题（rephrase），介绍背景（但可有可无，目的是为了服务点题，算是润滑剂），给出观点（或者之后给出观点都可）。
On the one hand, there are many reasons to believe that traditional courses are indispensable necessities for secondary school students. First, these disciplines could foster the students to have the primary capacity of the literacy. For instance, learning local and foreign languages have the potential to further the young learners’ skills which enable them to use language fluently. Consequently, such reading, writing and listening skills are more likely to enrich their work and life. Second, the courses, like history and geography have higher likelihood of cultivating the youngsters to gradually appreciate of the sense of national pride. In particular, if the students could learn their countries historic heroes and marvelous landscape, they would deeply love their countries and spontaneously devote their lives to them after graduation.
注意你的linking word，连接词用的比较生硬，有点为了用而用的感觉。还有，中式英语比例大，不一定被扣分，不过容易产生很多语法错误。例如 these disciplines could foster the students to have the primary capacity of the literacy，是否可以考虑写成 these disciplines can help students to develop their level of the literacy.
当然我写的也不一定好，但是，也许，稍微，或许能少点中式英语的味道。这部分的练习可以进行中译英，英译中的练习。不过练习内容不要参照国内的作者，推荐新概念英语3册内容。经典。
On the other hand, some other majors also play a pivotal role in secondary school education. First of all, the communication skill has become a significant course for most students because such life skills could enormously dominate the social relationship and academic study of the students. In particular, without good communicative capability, the young learners could not acquire the academic knowledge from the educators and their peers efficiently and effectively. Meanwhile, awkward language skills may hinder the youths to establish friendship with their counterparts and adults. Moreover, secondary school students should learn the business courses since such knowledge has been one of the important employable skills for most school graduates. Therefore, secondary schools should considerably prioritize this course at the early age of the students.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the conventional courses, communicative skill and business courses are equally important for secondary school to gain as a whole, in terms of the significance of their considerable impacts on both the work and life of the youths.
你的结论，可能是由于审题的原因，没有回答出问题。人家问的是traditional和modern的subject的比较。你说呢？
去音悦台看看mv吧，推荐几个，不代表全部。 smooth criminal, like a virgin, one less bell to answer, maybe this time, funny girl, dingdong the witch is dead, paradise by the dashboard light, edge of glory, fly, here's to us, love you like a love song，哎，太多了。打字辛苦死了。
今天你捡到便宜了，哎
虽然扎扎实实的提高真正的英语写作能力从长远看大有好处，但是对于你现实的目的帮助很有限。投入太大，效用太小。我推荐你转考A类，或者像楼上的一位推荐的好好看看那篇step by step 7分的帖子。当然你的词汇量和语法肯定需要一些真正的提高，不过不应该在这上面花太大的精力。为啥？因为雅思的写作和口语在大陆有很大的压分倾向。这两个是主观题，操作的弹性空间很大。很多移民的考生有时间也有金钱来反复考试，所以就来个0.5分让你多考几次，多赚几次钱。口语虽然也是主观判定，但是内容简单而且单一，弹性不如写作。相比之下，写作如果你不按照八股套路来写，他可以说你思路不清，不符合西方写作习惯；反之你“符合写作习惯”，他可以说你没有文采，套用模板。反正一切都是考官说了算。除非你的写作有8分的平均水平，不然要在考试中拿到7分，是需要相当的恒心和运气的。
但这个题目我觉得我是有点疑惑：Some say that secondary school tend to spend less time on traditional subjects such as history and should spend more time on communication skill and business courses.
是在拿tradictional和communication skii/business 作对比么？
It is true that education has become a priority for the majority of students seeking to secure a bright future for their lives. In regard to the disciplines of secondary school, such as conventional course, communication techniques and business knowledge, I disagree that modern courses should prevail over than the traditional ones. Therefore, I tend to believe that they should be equally imperative for the young learners to acquire.
首句背景句和话题有点点远。 prevail over后面为什么还要跟个than
On the one hand, there are many reasons to believe that the traditional courses are indispensable necessities for secondary school students. First, these disciplines could foster the students to have the primary capacity of the literacy. For instance, learning local and foreign languages have the potential to further the young learners’ skills which enable them to use the languages fluently. Consequently, such reading, writing and listening skills are more likely to enrich their work and life. Second, the courses, like history and geography have higher likelihood of cultivating the youngsters to gradually appreciate of the sense of national pride. In particular, if the students could learn their countries' historic heroes and marvelous landscapes, they would deeply love their countries and spontaneously devote their lives to them after graduation.
谁have potential? learning local and foreign languages?
On the other hand, some other majors also play a pivotal role in secondary school education. First of all, the communication skill has become a significant course for most students because such life skills could enormously dominate the social relationship and academic study of the students. In particular, without good communicative capability, the young learners could not acquire the academic knowledge from the educators and their peers efficiently and effectively. Meanwhile, awkward language skills may hinder the youths to establish friendship with their counterparts and adults. Moreover, secondary school students should learn the business courses since such knowledge has been one of the important employable skills for most school graduates. Therefore, secondary schools should considerably prioritize this course at the early age of the students.
major 不等于 subject. Meanwhile有些问题，meanwhile指的是同时，这个同时和中文不一样，指的是时间上的同时，在这里用我觉得不合适。hinder from. prioritize为什么还要considerably? 什么又是 at the early age of the students??
In conclusion, it seems to me that the conventional courses, communicative skill and business courses are equally important for secondary school to gain as a whole, in terms of the significance of their considerable impacts on both the work and life of the youths. In this sense, I disagree that modern courses should outweigh the traditional ones.
我朋友的评价是：“Comments: This is a very good essay. I think it will get a 7. There are a lot of grammatical variations. Suggestions: try and use more synonyms (words with similar meanings) to demonstrate your vocabulary.”
Topic: 1. Some people think that secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
As media has highly developed nowadays, international news are being covered more quickly and can travel wider than ever before. Some people suggest that secondary school students should study these news as one subject. Personally, I cannot fully support this idea.
Studying international news, with no doubt, can bring a few benefits to students. The information in these news is mostly the hotspot of global economy, politics and military, thus can help these teenagers to learn more about the present world. This can be useful especially for students who are studying geography and history, as they may find interesting stories and locations in these news. Another possible benefit could be giving the students a sense of the society.
However, the potential harms of studying these news are much greater. First of all, students in secondary school are generally aged between 12 to 15, which means they are too young to understand the international events. Those news are mostly highly complicated, and can be confusing even for a large number of adults. Therefore, students may find these studies complex and boring, which would be a waste of time. In the second place, secondary school students are very busy studying different subjects, such as language, math, science, history, art, etc. It is a crucial period for them to acquire knowledge, and more importantly to gain physical and mental development. Studying international news would not only take up their valuable studying time, but could also be depressing for these teenagers, as there are a great deal of war, violence and disaster involved in these news. Even with guidance, students could still be misled by those negative factors.
To sum up, although studying international news can possibly be beneficial for secondary school students, I still believe that it is more likely to be harmful to them. Students at this age should spend their time more on understanding fundamental subjects, instead of paying too much attention on complicated international events.