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大作文科技让越来越多人可以长寿到100,200岁,这是好还是坏,你的观点?<br />
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In the context of technical development, a growing number of people are expected to live longer. Some individuals believe it is good, whilst others concern about it. In this essay, this phenomenon will be discussed.<br />
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Those who think it can cause problems may hold the view that the soaring number of elderly people would be a heavy burden of the society. That is mainly because the welfare of these elder people will cost considerable money, and the youth will have to pay a lot of tax to support this public welfare. As a result of that, the living quality of young people will be impacted negatively. <br />
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On the other hand, others who believe this trend is a good thing might argue that the youth can learn a lot of life experience from the growing number of old people. This is due primarily to the fact that these old people may have much more experience than young people. If the senior citizens are willing to share their experience, the youth would be more mature. Therefore, these young people are more likely to adopt to a new environment and less likely to make mistakes.<br />
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In my opinion, the increasing number of elderly people enables people to have a whole family. Therefore their feeling of well-being will be raised. In contrast, in the past, people could not live as longer as they do today, so some people could not even see their grandparents. They might more or less feel a loss of their life. Being able to see more family will help people lead a happy life, and this is particularly important in countries where people place emphasis on family members.<br />
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In conclusion, although there is a concern of the growing number of elders, I believe it will bring more benefits.<br />
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可以看见,lz考试的时候觉得这题很简单,写in conclusion 的时候正好监考说 还剩下20分钟,后面20分钟全部用来检查了,可是考完和GF(同时考试最后GF作文7分,虽然她福利拼错了)讨论后才发现,题目没看完整,完全忽视了 科技,一次也没提到,大家想考7 真心建议题目先审 5分钟再下笔! 题目里每个名词和每个动词都很重要!!!<br />
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ps: a good thing我知道 用的很遭,我看过这篇 http://www.localau.com/thread-968114-1-1.html ,但是题目是这么写的我才大胆的抄下去的!:)<br />
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楼主文章写得还行。
In my opinion,那一段,感觉有点啰嗦。还不如在第一段表明态度,然后这一段当做论点。
作者: 妞妞的小背心 时间: 2013-12-26 10:14
这是discuss both sides and give your own view的哦的~
作者: 08gyhuaan5 时间: 2013-12-26 21:20
我也写写看,一起进步。
Modern technical development, especially in medical science, helps people live longer. Some worry about the burden imposed by these elder people ,whilst others tend to view a longer life expectancy with positive attitudes. In my opinion, I agree with the idea that individuals can benefit from this trend.
Those who see elderly people as a heavy burden of the society may base on the fact that aging releated problems have become a very serious issue amoung many countries. This is maily because it costs considerable money to support or faciliate the elders' lives , as a consequence, the working people have to pay more taxes, decreasing other's people living standards.
On the other hand, the society can benefit from the knowledge and experience of old people. With decades of work experience and comprehensive knowledge in a specific area, old people can impart their knowledge to younger generation, helping the country develop its economy and gain competitive advantages.
Another benefit of increasingly elderly people is to enable more people to have a whole family. Nowadays , children have more chances to spend their childhood with their grandparents. According to sociological research, a big and complete family can help people lead a happier life because the emotional ties amoung faimily members which can be can be strengthed can increase people's social well-being dramatically.
In conclusion, the growing number of elders may cause social problems to our society. However, more benefits can be given to people in terms of elderly people's knowldge and positive effects on family members.
作者: fbdhehicr 时间: 2013-12-26 21:58
Those who think it can cause problems may hold the view that soaring number of elderly people be a heavy burden of the society
严重语法错误:从句中的be 应为would be。
the youth a lot of life experience from the growing number of old people
另一严重语法错误:从句中缺失谓语。
作者: 左右莫逢源 时间: 2013-12-27 05:01
1207的题目是argument-led,要求discuss both sides。你这文章的结构完全不符合题目要求。
刘洪波 said I quote “高分文章一定是考官看了一拍桌子‘好文章!’而不是 一拍桌子‘好语法!’。” 我从来没有试过小姨那套,但是我觉得为了写复杂句而写复杂句,作为一个母语是中文的人,肯定会乱掉,雅思的第一要务是能够把事情说清楚,然后才是词汇,复杂句只是为了把事情说清楚的一个手段(为了说明原因用原因状语从句because或者due to,或者therefore,为了说明结果用结果状语从句,提到两样东西并列用and,加上为了说清楚一群人的动作用的定语从句),复杂句不是目的,更不是主要考核指标(四大评分标准的GAR——语法准确度和宽度,语法宽度只有1/8的权重,唐突的加小姨那些天外飞仙的的句子,会影响整篇文章的可读性的;并且我觉得前面那些括号里的东西都有的话,GR已经不低了)。你可以看看这考官写的范文 http://ielts-simon.com/ ,我只能说这是我参考各路神仙,对比各种理论后,个人理解的雅思写作,你也可以减持小姨那套,我也确实认识有个同学用小姨那套得了一次7分(口语没过),但是那同学据我所知大部分时间都是在挣扎得~