记住了ffab. admire lz's insight and quicly catching points
作者: 158654300 时间: 2011-11-11 09:13
现学现用， 改写了一篇， 原来我有这么多的话要说呀， LZ 是大好人呀。
主体段2 还有待改善， 主要是字已经超了， 所以没说透彻。
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Some people prefer to provide help and support for those in their
local community who need it. Others prefer to give money to national
and international charitable organizations. Discuss both view and five
your own opinion.
It is obvious that different people choose varied ways to contribute to charity. Some people give a helping hand to the local Community, while others favour supporting national and worldwide charitable groups financially. Means of charity are really crucial since they lead to so distinctive results.
Supporting the local community is much easier to carry out and monitor.
People are more familiar with the status and know who really need help. Therefore, they can directly help the local organization or individual solve issues. Compared with other forms of charity, this kind of support can give more money to the community and can put into action more quickly. Moreover, contributors can easily monitor whether the local community allocates the money to targeted places. This can make the donation more transparency and avoid possible misuse of funds. For example, an individual, funding lunches for all students in the domestic high school, can go to the dining hall to verify whether his money is spent on improving dinners and building healthy menus. However, this view may not help plenty of people since it only focuses on the local area. Indeed, the world is full of problems and so many people need instant support.
By contrast, as large charitable organizations open plenty of branches
everywhere, they can help much more people. For example, in the Wenchun earthquake, a great deal of help from worldwide charitable rganoizations strongly supports the recovery and relief. Without those, people’s lives in Wenchun can not go back to normal so quickly. Despite that, low percentage of funds used in actual charity work and long duration to implement the plan are criticised by the public. Specifically, the cost to maintain such kind of organization should be a lot higher. Sometimes, it may take longer to implement the charity plan because of loads of processes ad procedures to follow.
To sum up, helping the local community offers more benefits to charity
since it is highly efficient and easy to control. However, in huge disasters, the involvement of the global organizations is also necessary.
Some people prefer to provide help and support for those in their
local community who need it. Others prefer to give money to national
and international charitable organizations. Discuss both view and five
your own opinion.
It is obvious[不建议用这种语气太强太过肯定的词] that different people choose varied ways to contribute to charity. Some people give a helping hand to the local Community[大小写与题目不一致], while others favour supporting[语法错，要用正常的主谓结构] national and worldwide charitable groups financially. Means of charity are really crucial since they lead to so distinctive results.[这里引出观点了吗？这个观点是不合适的，不对应题目要求]
Supporting the local community is much easier to carry out and monitor.[主题句没啥问题，但是总觉得较肤浅，不深刻，还缺点什么]
People are more familiar with the status and know who really need help[衔接很不好，这句疑问太多了，people指谁，status指什么，need help是哪些方面的help]. Therefore, they can directly help the local organization or individual solve issues. Compared with other forms of charity, this kind of support can give more money to the community[这个很牵强] and can put into action more quickly. Moreover, contributors can easily monitor whether the local community allocates the money to targeted places. This can make the donation more transparency[词性错] and avoid possible misuse of funds. For example, an individual, funding lunches(?) for all students in the domestic high school, can go to the dining hall to verify whether his money is spent on(->in) improving dinners and building healthy menus[这句话怎么看都不通]. However, this view may not help plenty of people[view helps people??，chinglish] since it only focuses on the local area. Indeed, the world is full of problems and so many people need instant support[论证逻辑和思路都很混乱].
By contrast, as large charitable organizations open plenty of branches
everywhere, they can help much more people. For example, in the Wenchun earthquake, a great deal of help from worldwide charitable rganoizations strongly supports the recovery and relief. Without those, people’s lives in Wenchun can not go back to normal so quickly. Despite that, (这段后面看不下去了) low percentage of funds used in actual charity work and long duration to implement the plan are criticised by the public. Specifically, the cost to maintain such kind of organization should be a lot higher. Sometimes, it may take longer to implement the charity plan because of loads of processes ad procedures to follow.
To sum up, helping the local community offers more benefits to charity
since it is highly efficient and easy to control. However, in huge disasters, the involvement of the global organizations is also necessary. (结论和题目要求不怎么对应，稍微修改下应该还是可以回应题目的要求的)
具体怎么论述，用什么样的论据才能逻辑性强，有说服力，这点楼主更有发言权。我就不参和了。
作者: 法家淡 时间: 2011-11-12 17:38
很有启发，学习了！
作者: pv28wx53 时间: 2011-11-12 18:15
一想到将来要向老天爷祈祷拿四个七砸我，感觉自己真是狮子大开口。
作者: 老实男娃 时间: 2011-11-13 02:53
谢谢。 本想给威望， 发现已经不能给了。
才发现自己逻辑怎么这么乱呢。 有的topic 真是没话说， sigh
作者: xbqhua9094 时间: 2011-11-13 06:36
有些道理。
作者: lawyerdx 时间: 2011-11-13 07:17
这个是楼主悟的还是在什么书上看到的呢
作者: 泽马浪人 时间: 2011-11-13 08:18
拜拜
作者: 修水人 时间: 2011-11-13 15:59
销售人员培训里面的内容，提高销售技巧的，几年前学习的，刚想起来而已。
作者: 割肉隔日 时间: 2011-11-14 01:40
lz真是好人，谢谢！
作者: kkmhua4157 时间: 2011-11-14 04:04
作者: pfqt8822 时间: 2011-11-14 12:20
问LZ一个问题哈，我这两天也在想关于task response的问题。
像你说的用ffab的方法写的话，会不会出现写了题目没有要求的内容？
比如说，一个题目要求写advantage和disadvantage。如果还在文章里面有大量的内容写feature和function，会不会让考官觉得跑题？我知道写这两个是为了给advantage作铺垫，但是外国人写东西好像不怎么要铺垫的。一般是直接论点+支撑就完了。
今天看一雅思考官的网站上就说，没要求的就不要写
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages和What are the benefits and drawbacks这两类的题目，提自己的opinion都是不允许的。。。所以，对此还是存在疑惑
如果你选择第一种方式，那么肯定扣题了，但是分数也不会高。
如果你选择第二种方式，请问你打算用什么来支持你的观点，即advantages？
task response里面还有一点，就是fully extend your ideas。
凡事讲究一个度，为了减少其它文字的占比，你也可以将feature和function合并到一个句子。
此外，我对那些所谓考官的个人意见没啥兴趣，之前我有贴作文的评分标准，那个才是最终决定分数的标杆。
作者: jop26emg 时间: 2011-11-14 19:37
的确好文！
作者: ddj4007r 时间: 2011-11-15 00:06
LZ,我对你的方法是这么理解的：
1. 我认为主题句是不是要写得具体和你的段落分配也有关系，比如有人喜欢写一边倒的，所以会把有点分为两个段落，这个时候每个段落的主题句太笼统显然有问题。这时候就适合写具体；
2. 如果是discuss both view的时候，我是习惯4段式，所以是否可以每段的topic句稍微笼统些。然后分论点其实就相当于你说的具体FFAB了。比如每段包含两套FFAB的方式；
3. FFAB中之所以要具体原因也在于，如果不具体，完全无法环环相扣，这是个推导的过程。比如我们写分论点写成 A brings us a plenty of benifits.这句，这样之后具体自然就陷入列举有点了，也有是你说的第一种方式，which is not ideal but response task only。唯有写得具体到了某些fucntion，我们才能推导（验证），才有后面的FAB。比如internet的优点，分论点必须是类似：internet, in fact, brings us giant convinience(F). compared with traditional mail, people, nowadays, are able to send message, documents and photos to friends who are at another side of world more instantly by email with a much lower cost(F,A也同时包含在里面了). besides, internet connects people around the world more tightly........
4. 即：将FFAB并联和不是串联会显得不是那么僵硬。
5. 请大家点评批评。
1.several rooms in different purpose.
2. a front yard and a back yard.
3. a garage with 1-2 parking spaces
4. probably a basement
5. enjoyable sourroundings
The FUCTION of a single house
1.several bedrooms for families.....
2. the front yard plants flowers and trees, the back yard for children's entertaining.
3. the garage contains cars and tools
4. the basement can be used to contain sundries.
5. may be close to parks and gardens, good for children
The ADV/DISADV of a house:
1. spacious and comfortable , but causes time-consuming for maintenence than an apartment.
2. enjoyable and peaceful sourroundings, but commute and shopping are relatively inconvenient
3. versatile, but may need more expense than an apartment.
The BENEFITS of a house:
1. spacious back yard for children's playing games.
2. can build a wooden castle and trapeze for children in the backyard.
3. rebuild garage to a workshop ,adding tools and equipement to fix car and home appliances.
4. take a party , have a barbecue in the backyard. with friends and families.
5. grow flowers and trees in front yard and have a dog/turtles/birds at home.
The hotel locates in a beautiful city and is very close by the famous Yancheng park. Because of this, it is a very smart choice if you spend your holiday here. The staffs here are friendly, the Christmas party in the restaurant is great, and the games are very interesting. Equally importantly, the price of the hotel is not very expense, as a 5 star holiday, it is worth CNY 500 per night. It is clear that I spend less , but enjoy more. In summary I have a very impressive stay here, and I would like to stay again at someday not far from now.