<strong>In some countries, children start school at the age of seven, so they could have more time to build relationship with their parents. In other countries, children start school when they are 4 years old. Do the advantage outweigh its disadvantage?</strong><br />
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Children's education is of ultimate importance for many families in the world. Now a controversial issue under debate is whether children should attend school at an early age, such as four years old, or should they accept formal education at a more matured age.<br />
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It seems rather convincing that, for those who are being raised in poorer families, going to school earlier would be a better choice. It goes without saying that, high percentage of the children who live in rural area could not have sufficient childcare at home, since their parents are normally lack of well education background. In some cases, those children have to live with their grandparents due to the fact that their parents take long term jobs away from home. In those circumstances, school would be an ideal place for those young children to enjoy enhanced study environment constituted with bright library, well trained teachers and all sorts of education facilities, not to mention the opportunities to practice their social communication skills with their counterparts.<br />
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Nonetheless, some people may argue that education can benefit the young provided that their intelligence and emotion are developed to some extend. Those people conceive that, if children go to school too early, it may deprive their spare time as well as lay too much burden on their slim shoulder. Moreover, they may not be able to spend enough time with their parents to build up the family bond., which is essential for one's mental development in the long term. <br />
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From my perspective, the decision on when should the children attend school should be based on practical factors, including financial situation, personal maturity, preference of children themselves, and so on. Since children may not be able to tell their thoughts, it is the parents' responsibility to analyze the above issues then come up with the final choice. Also, governments have to offer guidelines regarding the time for children to go to school so as to help parents to make a better option.
作者: f809mdpbnu1 时间: 2014-2-20 21:49
同学首先你肯定有七分水平，唯一缺点就是过度词太多，不精练。例如第二段第二句话 it goes... 完全可以省略。直接进入论证部分。还有第二段 我认为列子举的不好，就是说贫困人家上学早按你的角度说相当于逼着没有办法去上学，这个对孩子影响不是考官想要的，不知道我解释清楚了么。
跟二楼有一样的感觉。我经验不多，不过觉得追求多样性、一定的复杂度是好的，但是在还没有熟练驾驭的时候，用这么多长句、复杂词汇会不会让考官觉得不自然呢，也很容易用错。我挑几个小刺不要见怪：
lack 一般是名词或者动词
their intelligence and emotion are developed to some extend - "are developed" 可以直接用 develop 替代。另外 extend 是动词，可以用 degree？
personal maturity - personality maturity?
make a better option - make a better decision? option 是别人给的，是用来 choose 的
作者: 堂前燕1 时间: 2014-2-21 15:50
我怎么觉得优点和缺点没有说到多少啊？还是我习惯看第一，第二，第三的结构了？？
作者: bidwidway 时间: 2014-2-22 01:22
提个醒：看看下面两句有没有错误：
》》》Now a controversial issue under debate is whether children should attend school at an early age, such as four years old, or should they accept formal education at a more matured age.
》》》From my perspective, the decision on when should the children attend school should be based on practical factors。