独门秘方金科玉律Rule No.1:
T2,包括A类T1,通篇请不要出现第一第二人称pls~
第一第二人称 懂？
I me my/We us our/U ur u （还有么？？？应该差不多了哦）
来，拿出你的作文，第一段最后一句（这个是铁打的topic sentence你们都懂的哦？）
in my opinion，........有木有？
木有啊？小样不错么
那肯定也有 In my point of view神马的啦？我不管阿~都是一样的阿~~
my看到了哇！！不能要哇亲！！！
some people要开始argue了 楼猪知道的~
那要表述（我认为XXX）这个意思肿么办阿？
楼猪告诉你啊，这个是纯种中国人的思路阿！！！！
鬼子不是这么想的阿！！！！！！
楼猪当时让前考官小伙子帮我改作文的时候也震惊了有木有！！！
他大笔一挥帮我划掉了不下3个in my opinion啊！一篇文章里阿！！！一共250多个子啊！！
他是这么告诉我的，
学术类文章，你所有写的东西，都是你自己的opinion,除了你引用别人的，那都必须是你自己的，
所以鬼子写这种牛比红红的问题的时候，是从来不写1，2人称的（受过高等教育的鬼子阿，这个rule真不是随便一个鬼子都知道的，在国内教英文的鬼子你们懂得，基本上只要是native speaker都可以收你好几千上万来陪你吹吹牛皮的，大多数这种外教真的没受过什么高等教育的，换句话说，他们是没有受过正式文体写作的训练的，而task2要你写essay阿！！！正式文体中的战斗机阿！！最正式的就是他了）
他们觉得第一二人称不够正式（我的理解就是他们觉得好煞笔好弱智好小儿科的）
各么童鞋门要问了，in my opinion，这种，直接删掉是可以，但是有些比如
my suggestion will be...
U may argue that...
etc, etc, etc,
这种直接删掉句子就不桶了的肿么办？
有没有童鞋知道啊？讲讲看么~~
课堂气氛活耶一点么~~~
啊，对拉！！！
角落头那个，
就是 用被动阿！！！
It is suggested that...
It is widely accepted that...
总之，神马都可以改成被动阿！！！
还有一个办法，用people,哈哈哈，他只说第一2人称煞笔没有说第三阿~~啊哈哈哈
通常想用u的时候，换乘people阿~~瞬间人多势众了有木有！！！！
一鼓作气~继续
独门秘方金科玉律Rule No.3:
连接词用起来，但尽量不要放句首！
连接词你们都懂的~随便辣个机构组织都反反复复强调的，楼猪就不多屁话了~
巴特！！！
连接词的位置，尽量不要放句首！！！
小卡的原话是，你不觉得，However, it is not always truth that God is a girl.这样的句子看起来很ugly么~
沃特？！！
楼猪真心没觉得。。。。
巴特，人家鬼子就是这种脑子~你有什么办法~~
他们喜欢看到It is not always the truth, however, that God is a girl.
或者It is not always the truth that God is a girl, however.
总之他们就是不喜欢连刺首字母大写！！
好吧，虽然楼猪不能理解，你是考官你说了算,however~
这多方便啊，moreover！！！！
挪挪位子的事情，不伤一咪咪脑细胞~
你喜欢我照办！！！！
好了，童鞋们，再次拿出你的T2,所有首字母大写的连词，搬一下位子~
搬好再看看，好像是蛮好看的~
上回说道~~~~~
独门秘方金科玉律Rule No.4:
观点程度的表达方法
上回说道,I不能用，有些童鞋，要在文章里表达，“我觉得，但我也不是特别确定“这种意思的时候
怎么办呢~
现实生活里，你说 I believe(believe是个语气很弱的词，表示非常没把握，这件事大家都知道了？）
I believe I will have kids some day.
I believe my car is a sleeping transformer. 懂？
或者说I reckon(=think)（澳岛上是不说think的~岛民从来不think好吗！！！！）
I reckon Corvette has paid big money for the role of Big Bee.
独门秘方金科玉律Rule No.5:
Essay的结构~
所谓流水的鸭子，铁打的essay,
As we all know,（BTW,这个短语essay也不可以写哦!!!We看到了瓦！！！big big no!!!)（画外音：楼猪你也太啰嗦了八）
Cannot emphasis enough阿童鞋们！！！如果楼猪的大楼里你只有空改其中一条，就请改这一条阿！！！）
回到正题，As we all know, essay是很八股的一种文体
童鞋们啊，千万不要想让考官感觉新鲜一点点阿！！
你知道你不按标准格式写出来的essay,在他们看起来是神马感觉么？
就是唐诗三百首里，你突然发觉一首是
纯棉不觉小,
处处蚊子摇一摇,
谁只盘中餐,
粒粒皆很贵.
这种感叫阿!!他们不会觉得你好有创意的啊,他们觉得你freak of nature阿！！！
第三段 counter argument:
第一句 连接句（承上启下） 虽然很明显的，女性要比男性智慧，一小撮人仍会argue that male MIGHT be more intelligent in some fields. This is absolutely not the truth, however. 考虑到楼猪还是需要讨好各位兰童鞋~~~以下省略100字
如果主题句里，你提到了两个大点，2，3段也可以各写一个正面的论述！
但鬼子认为，counter argument是果断比较高级的一种写法！！！！
大家可以是试试看，不过以我的经验，确实不怎么好想逻辑攻击点。
各么到底神马叫Redundant阿~就是重复了同一个意思呗
楼猪僧僧记得，当时小卡圈出了搂住一个句子，明确告诉我这个句子redundant vocabulary,让我自己找
楼猪基本上把每个词都猜了一遍~
那句子大概是这样的
Will Smith cited Boss Wu's article in his book that....
乃们觉得有何不妥？没有吧？多简洁明朗的文风！！！！完全小清新好不好！！！
答案
cite的意思是：在自己文章中引用别人的观点
故，cite 了就不可以再 in his book~
啰嗦！！！！
小卡，乃是要我老命么~~乃可知按你这标准，搂住T2写不满100字？
哦也~~总算到了
Rule No.10 No 2 words verb
所有2个字组成的动词，都是不正式的好吗！！！！！
这根上一条get很呼应有木右！！！！
get 组成了多少动词阿！！！
Get away(escape)
Get start(commence)
Get on with(Have a good relationship with)
还有其他的，比如
make sure(ensure)
Set up(establish)
Go over(revise)
有数了法？
第三段 counter argument:
第一句 连接句（承上启下） 虽然很明显的，女性要比男性智慧，一小撮人仍会argue that male MIGHT be more intelligent in some fields. This is absolutely not the truth, however.以下省略100字
Rule No.7:
on the contrary不要用，用in contrast替换
Rule No.8:
避免Redundant vocabulary
Rule No.9:
不要出现Thing/Get，用更具体明确的词替换
Rule No.10
尽量不要使用两个字构成的verb
补充小知识No.1:
正式文体的写作里，不要出现缩写，即She's They've 全部展开写She is, They have
补充小知识No.2:
正式文体的写作里，也不要出现10以内的阿拉伯数字，例如
5 students were killed last year. 写成Five students were killed.....
大数字可以写比如556不要写成 five hundred and fifty six
[]
作者: 8l9e2911 时间: 2011-7-16 11:29
沙发啊沙发
作者: psswebpp 时间: 2011-7-16 13:35
救命贴啊，楼主快填坑吧！！
作者: 四叶爷 时间: 2011-7-17 00:31
我看来是楼主的目标客户啊
掌柜的包个邮吧，我都要了
作者: ddwvd760534r 时间: 2011-7-17 03:39
潜力精华贴
作者: 调皮娃 时间: 2011-7-17 10:23
老板快写，救命贴啊
作者: ilfpd299940 时间: 2011-7-17 13:26
精华潜力贴！
作者: blair222 时间: 2011-7-17 17:48
都赶着救命呢，只争朝夕啊，楼主，我要顺丰快递的，给您4个5哦~~~快点上新吧
作者: fng6g2b9l 时间: 2011-7-18 01:32
快上菜啊，掌柜，月底就要考了！作文/口语没底啊
作者: 冰鬼鬼丫头 时间: 2011-7-18 03:58
很有潜力的精华帖！
作者: 老实男娃 时间: 2011-7-18 09:18
楼主也是476哦，是激励我的动力啊~~~~
作者: dvdwmv833 时间: 2011-7-18 18:40
lz骗人，到现在都没进正文。。。
作者: calleyaddig 时间: 2011-7-19 01:29
拜读来了
作者: pazyl870 时间: 2011-7-19 05:15
作者: u7lhyuul7t 时间: 2011-7-19 16:16
楼主的第一个观点其实之前回帖也见过了，我觉得是有道理的，from my point of view, in my opinion可以用被动语态代替了
但是一些观点争论型题目的固定句式呢？
比如常用的表达是：
some individuals suggest that...., the others argue that
按照楼主的说法是不适用于正式写作的，如果两方观点都用it is recommended that... 表达未免太过干瘪
那么应该有什么对称句型来代替呢？
作者: 语丝缕缕 时间: 2011-7-20 01:15
some individuals第三人称
不属于需要改的那类阿!
不过，按我的小小的经验来看，some individuals这个表达好像没怎么见过
如果是我，我就写,Some people believe LZ is an idiot; others argue she is not. It is widely accepted, however, she is a beauty. (没有逻辑关系~随便举例用）
补充小知识No.1:
正式文体的写作里，不要出现缩写，即She's They've 除了所有格（Others'）不要出现' 这是被认为不正式的，全部展开写She is, They have (还可以多几个字，木哈哈）
补充小知识No.2:
正式文体的写作里，也不要出现10以内的阿拉伯数字，例如
5 students were killed last year. 错！
Five students were killed........ 对！
数字太大了你就不要太那什么了~~
556写成 five hundred and fifty six 这种还是不要了阿~~~你凑字数的心还真是感天动地阿~~~
Task2的确没有明确是要求你写ESSAY~
但是你会看到这句话:
Present a written argument or case to an EDUCATED READER WITH NO specialist knowledge of the
following topic
楼猪的理解,就是叫你写essay~
每本剑桥题前面都有考试评分标准，摘录如下（T2）
Your writing will be assessed on your ability to:
• present the solution to a problem
• present and justify an opinion
• compare and contrast evidence and opinions
• evaluate and challenge ideas, evidence or an argument
You will also be judged on your ability to:
• communicate an idea to the reader in an appropriate style
• address the problem without straying from the topic
• use English grammar and syntax accurately
• use appropriate language in terms of register, style and
content
前面四条,主要是对逻辑的考察,大家经过训练,加上严格按格式写,我觉得都没问题,
后面四条,主要是语言的考察,
第一条说,要appropriate style
最后一条说，appropriate language in terms of ...style...
楼猪给大家的建议，基本都是，什么是西方人眼里正式写作的style
也只有这个，是比较容易短时间内纠正的，
Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of the private health care outweigh the advantages?
Private healthcare becomes a frequent topic of discussion nowadays. it is well understand that one’s healthy is the fundamental of his or her happiness and because of this, personal healthcare is indeed very important for the wellbeing of the citizens.
Yet some people think that there are many guarantees, like public healthcare or international health organizations, which could be the assistance of personal health problems. Of course, it is definitely true that those measures contribute to the individuals’ health, whilst The vital principal is that there are still some particular emergencies which can not covered in the public health system.
Obviously, commercial health care is beneficial to the individuals and societies. Firstly, for the sake of risk transfer, it is strongly recommended that every citizen involved in the medical insurance. For example, it is not uncommon for those dangerous occupations, like oilmen or miners, take the risk of injury. Without the private healthcare, the medical fee would be a big burden to those families. Furthermore, the annual physical examination include in the health insurance, plays a crucial role in the terms of the individuals’ healthy maintenance. It is essential that whether he or she could achieve personal success depends on whether he or she is healthy. Last but not least, technically speaking, private healthcare could be the symbol of our civilization. It represented the humanism and charity of business units.
To sum up, private medical care is the insurance of individuals’ interest and a kind of charity in principal. I claim that medical insurance is excellent additional option and crucial supplement of contemporary public healthcare.
题目：
Science and technology have great influence on our lives. But some people think we should also value the work of artists such as musicians, painters and writers. Do you think arts can give us things that science and technology cannot give us?
作文：
People are now living in an era of science and technology. From online shopping to space exploration, everyday life in modern society, as well as human being’s ambitious goals, are supported by various kinds of technological applications. The importance of arts, however, is often ignored, although it plays an irreplaceable role in people’s lives.
Science and technology, admittedly, can make people’s lives more convenient, but it is arts that truly inspire us. When one feels upset, a great piece of music or a good film can sooth his/her mind. Also, it is often read in the newspapers that a great book makes someone have faith in life again. Of course some teenagers may turn to video games when they are not satisfied with their lives, but unlike arts, that will only result in void but not serious thinking.
Arts can also provide us with a different understanding of life. No matter how truly the photographing technique can reflect what people see with their eyes, great paintings, such as Van Gogh’s Sunflower, can always appeal to people and lead people to realize good things in their lives which they barely paid any attention to.
Therefore, art is a dispensable part of people’s lives, which will never be replaced by science and technology. In fact, if technology could give people whatever arts could, there would not be so many people downloading or purchasing music or films from the internet. Technology now is acting as a media that carries various forms of arts and delivers them to more people.
In conclusion, in spite of all the great impacts that science and technology have on our lives, arts still play a crucial part that cannot be replaced.
[]
作者: 语丝缕缕 时间: 2011-8-3 08:34
Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of the private health care outweigh the advantages?
Private healthcare becomes a frequent topic of discussion nowadays.
1 topic 用hot或者much debated来形容,不用frequent
2 Private healthcare不是topic,我觉得更准确的表达是 Whether private healthcare is XXXXXX is much debated nowadays.
3 redundant(啊哈哈~果然第一句就有~~乃们还嫌我罗索~~哈哈哈）topic 就是discussion的topic, 在加of discussion就是罗索
建议:Whether private healthcare has advantages over public one becomes (is) a much debated topic nowadays.
it is well understand that one’s healthy is the fundamental of his or her happiness and because of this, personal healthcare is indeed very important for the wellbeing of the citizens.1用复述people泛指人们不用one,好处是这样就不用his or her了，用they
2understand 第一它应该是understood，该被动的时候不要忘了改动词阿！！！
第二，我的感觉，这里understand的意思不是很准确，accepted更好些~
3 连接词（because of this)插到句子的中间而不是开始
4 citizen和people的概念不太一样，还是不要换了巴~
建议：It is widely accepted that people's health is the fundamental of their happiness and personal healthcare, thus, is of great importance for the well-being of them.
Yet some people think that there are many guarantees, like public healthcare or international health organizations, which could be the assistance of personal health problems.
1妈妈的~一上来给我个Yet 叫你连接词不要放句首~哪能这么不听话啦！！！！
2这个观点如果是你要反驳的，Some people might think(用might来削弱它的语气）
3like不正式，用such as,
Of course, it is definitely true that those measures contribute to the individuals’ health, whilst The vital principal is that there are still some particular emergencies which can not covered in the public health system.
1知道我想说什么伐？OOO你个头阿！！！再给我看到首字母大写的连接词。。。
2whilst很牛比表扬下
3还是redundant, of course 和 definitely词义重复，建议of course删掉
这段按我的理解是你已经开始偏了，我就不重写了~
Obviously, commercial health care is beneficial to the individuals and societies. Firstly, for the sake of risk transfer, it is strongly recommended that every citizen involved in the medical insurance. For example, it is not uncommon for those dangerous occupations, like oilmen or miners, take the risk of injury. Without the private healthcare, the medical fee would be a big burden to those families. Furthermore, the annual physical examination include in the health insurance, plays a crucial role in the terms of the individuals’ healthy maintenance. It is essential that whether he or she could achieve personal success depends on whether he or she is healthy. Last but not least, technically speaking, private healthcare could be the symbol of our civilization. It represented the humanism and charity of business units.
1Furthermore可以搬到句子中间吗？
2civilzation前面没必要our阿~只有人类有civilization阿~
3private healthcare不等于commercial healthcare也不等于personal healthcare
private是相对public来说的，类比你自己买的医疗保险和国家强制你的医保
To sum up, private medical care is the insurance of individuals’ interest and a kind of charity in principal. I claim that medical insurance is excellent additional option and crucial supplement of contemporary public healthcare.
People are now living in an era of science and technology. From online shopping to space exploration, everyday life in modern society, as well as human being’s ambitious goals, are supported by various kinds of technological applications. The importance of arts, however, is often ignored, although it plays an irreplaceable role in people’s lives.
姑娘你从句用的好花啊~哈哈哈~这段我觉得没神马问题
Science and technology, admittedly, can make people’s lives more convenient, but it is arts that truly inspire us. When one feels upset, a great piece of music or a good film can sooth his/her mind. Also, it is often read in the newspapers that a great book makes someone have faith in life again. Of course some teenagers may turn to video games when they are not satisfied with their lives, but unlike arts, that will only result in void but not serious thinking.
见上文，one的地方通常可以用people代替，一直写his/her很麻烦，
最后一句，people may argue that a large number of teenagers turn to video games, which is the product of technology, for comfort when they feel disappointed in life. It is true, however, video games only result in void unlike arts.
Arts can also provide us with a different understanding of life. No matter how truly the photographing technique can reflect what people see with their eyes, great paintings, such as Van Gogh’s Sunflower, can always appeal to people and lead people to realize good things in their lives which they barely paid any attention to.
1 还是那句，第一人称尽量不要出现Arts can also provide a different aspect to understand life.
2 truly在这里的意思不很准确，exactly, accurately好像跟贴近一些
what people see with their eyes 可换成 reality,
第一二人称不用，第三人称能少用也少用哈~~
这句里的such as可以替换say，这也是很多学术文章经常用的词....great paintings, say, Van Gogh's Sunflower
Therefore, art is a dispensable part of people’s lives, which will never be replaced by science and technology. In fact, if technology could give people whatever arts could, there would not be so many people downloading or purchasing music or films from the internet. Technology now is acting as a media that carries various forms of arts and delivers them to more people.
用therefore一定要有联接的两部分，这里我的理解是连接的上部分是上一段的内容，这样的话，感觉这段就是对上一段的总结和深入
但下一段又是总结，感觉结构不太清晰。
In conclusion, in spite of all the great impacts that science and technology have on our lives, arts still play a crucial part that cannot be replaced.
Someone wrote: “Can you write about “in contrast” vs. “by contrast” sometime?”
Okay, here goes. “In contrast” and “by contrast” mean the same thing: the act of comparing in order to show differences. The difference lies in the way the words are used. “In contrast” is usually followed by “to” or “with” and requires a noun to follow it. “By contrast” is usually followed or preceded by the subject of the sentence.
Examples:
In contrast to the diligent bee, the butterfly flies hither and yon with no apparent purpose.
In contrast with the chorus of birdsongs in my backyard, my front yard is serenaded by the sound of rumbling buses flying down the street.
By contrast, the Picasso is more vibrant and full of life.
The cats will often sleep the day away. The dogs, by contrast, never settle down.