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[雅思杂谈] 发篇大作文,请大家指教,谢谢

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21#
 楼主| 发表于 2010-5-4 04:47:30 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


新作,不期望浪费大家时间看,只希望能看到自己一次比一次进步。

37分钟,346词。 仍然结尾有点匆忙,而且觉得写得多余了。。。。作文这东西开笔了很多东西不太受自己控制。。。
题目
Some people think that universities should provide knowledge and skills related to future career. Others think the true function of the university is to give access to knowledge for its own sake. What is your opinion?
作文
Arguments about whether the skills preparing for students' future career should be taught in universities exist widely, as some people consider that most students will join the companies so that the skills related to their career are essential, while others hold that universities should ever be places for offering access to knowledge for its own sake. In this essay, I will try disscussing about their reasons and giving my own opinion.

Teaching knowledge and skills related to students' future career could apparently enhance the competitiveness of them. For example, if the students have been taught about how to write a beautiful resume, they are more likely to get a chance for interview than those have not. After all, targeted education could often brings wanted result. Furthermore, in current economic situation, not to be unemployment is the firstly important issue once they have graduated, so considerably, courses on careers are popular with the students to some extent.

However, some people believe that the universities are shrine for knowledge itself, and the resposibility of them is to cultivate professionnal persons in various realms, so they must be pure. If someone wants to have courses for future career, he should go to the vacational school, not colleges. In contrary, if the universities opened a lot of courses for career education, they might not be able to focus on their original professional education. In other words, universities and vacational schools shoule not be mixed together.

In my opinion, there are hundreds of thousands of students in today's universities, but not everyone of them could be scientists, literator or artists in the future, while in fact most of them will join companies after they graduate. So I do agree that the universities can open a few courses for students' future career, because only a few courses will not ruin the nature of universities themselves, but they could help the students a lot.

In conclusion, I agree with opening career courses in the universities, not too many. But what courses to open, and how many there should be, are still under discussion.


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22#
发表于 2010-5-4 10:43:50 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


In this essay, I will try disscussing about their reasons and giving my own opinion.
呵呵...这个这个这个...还是在第一段明确表达下自己的观点吧,你心里要有个数啊,到底支持哪一方。
不然外国人看得很糊涂滴


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23#
发表于 2010-5-4 22:13:56 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


楼主非常勤奋~~就这一点,我相信楼主一定能过的!!继续批哦...
其实指出语法错误已经没有意义了,主要还是锻炼思路...如何在规定时间规定字数内把观点表达清楚


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24#
发表于 2010-5-4 23:31:13 | 只看该作者 来自: INNA


以下句子都是我从剑桥里面的阅读文章上面摘抄的我认为不错的在写作里面可以用的句子,有些转折和写法很值得我们借鉴,希望对你有帮助哦!
1. It comes with strong opposition from sb.
2. This phenomenon can be partly attributed to sth
3. It has now reached a point where a growing number of people believe that bring it dwon will be one of the great challenges of the 21st century
4. During the (industrial revolution/population explosion/economic cooperation)of the 21st centuries, the demand for …is rising (dramatically/rapidly).
5. The pollution of water, the enervation of soil, the destruction of wildlife, the harm to animal welfare and the threat to human health is majority health hazard.
6. Before solutions could be proposed, the problem had to be understood.
7. Sb lacks access to sth
8. Sb is falling behind in efforts to solve these problems
9. The consequences of sth extend beyond sth
10. The focus is slowly shifting back to sth
11. Sb figured out (how to do sht/that)
12. Sth bring great benefits to hundreds of millions of people
13. Dispite our progress, sb still suffers from
14. The growth of sth is not rising as rapidly as someone predicted
15. They played an essential role in raising awareness and interest among sth
16. Moreover,recent evidence suggests that it may be more adaptable than was thought
17. Such projects must be built with more accountability to local people and their environment


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