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8#
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发表于 2010-12-10 10:56:46
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只看该作者
来自： INNA
Note 3
例文一篇
出处：http://www.ielts-exam.net/IELTS-Writing-Samples/ielts-writing.htm
Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children.
Do you agree or disagree?
This model has been prepared by an examiner as an example of a very good answer. However, please note that this is just one example out of many possible approaches.
I tend to agree that young children can be negatively affected by too much time spent on the computer every day. This is partly because sitting in front of a screen for too long can be damaging to both the eyes and the physical posture of a young child, regardless of what they are using the computer for.
However, the main concern is about the type of computer activities that attract children. These are often electronic games that tend to be very intense and rather violent. The player is usually the ‘hero’ of the game and too much exposure can encourage children to be self-centred and insensitive to others.
Even when children use a computer for other purposes, such as getting information or emailing friends, it is no substitute for human interaction. Spending time with other children and sharing nonvirtual experiences is an important part of a child's development that cannot be provided by a computer.
In spite of this, the obvious benefits of computer skills for young children cannot be denied. Their adult world will be changing constantly in terms of technology and the Internet is the key to all the knowledge and information available in the world today. Therefore it is important that children learn at an early age to use the equipment enthusiastically and with confidence as they will need these skills throughout their studies and working lives.
I think the main point is to make sure that young children do not overuse computers. Parents must ensure that their children learn to enjoy other kinds of activity and not simply sit at home, learning to live in a virtual world.
阅读例文的感受：
本文没有使用常见的“模板”，但条理清晰。第一段开门见山说孩子用电脑多了不好——第一句是观点：不好；第二句是原因：为什么不好。第二段说主要是用来打游戏，害处如何。第三段说即使不是用来打游戏，也不好，因为无法替代真实的活动。第四段平衡一下，说电脑的好处。以为世界瞬息万变网络非常重要，电脑要从娃娃抓起。最后一段总结，因为前面说了好和不好，所以作者的观点是：还是能用，但是别过量。
不过，按照平常所听到看到的，各段间的连接似乎不明显？尤其是第二段？……我是不是受模板毒害了？
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发表于 2010-12-9 12:48:42
支持
反对
