雅思白痴，写作练手，求指教和评分

tgguq99910 · 发表于 2011-9-18 21:00:55

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刚才看了林同学的文章，自己手痒，写了一个同样的题目，求指教和评分。

Some people think that intelligent children should be taught separately and given special treatment. Others think that students of different abilities should be taught together. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It has always been a mystery that what the best way of educating people is. In experts' effort to find the answer, two voices are heard. One insists that children of different features should be treated in different ways. The other, however, argues that children should be taught together regardless of their individualities. Both voices have supportive arguments of their own.

Those who advocates differential education point up several advantages of their opinion. First above all, it is absolutely correct to treat different individual in varied ways. Just like growing grains, potatoes should never be planted the way eggplants are planted, and it is absurd to expect a huge harvest when you grow rice as much as you do with wheat. Each individual deserves a unique treat of his/her own. Secondly, in the process of offering different treats to children, we are more likely to trace the cause of problems confusing them. As is widely accepted that all people are confronted with such a variety of different problems that different treatments are required. A painkiller can never relieve a heart attack, nor can a cook paint a masterpiece of oil painting. This voice, however, admits it has a disadvantage of demanding a great deal of time and energy. Considering the positive influence it exerts on each individual, a minor sacrifice is worth making.

Those who oppose to the above opinion give their righteous reasons as followed. One main reason is that teaching people together means high efficiency, for no extra time or energy will be spent and that is quite so a relief for the teachers and parents who are already too busy to go to such a extreme. Furthermore, people have the equal right to obtain the fair educational opportunities. Differential treatment may lead to discrimination and psychological overbalance, which is definitely not expected by anyone. What is more, they contend that people, instead cherishing that much hope in educational system, should sometimes try to devise methods of their own to attain various achievements. One thing is certain, however, that it can sometimes fail to bring people's talents to the fullest.

As far as i am concerned, both voices have merits of their own and should be applied in different occasions. I suggest that fundamental knowledge should taught together, for it can inevitably save the limited time and energy of teachers. When it comes to solve problems of different sorts, different treatment should always be given.

86后宋希小 · 发表于 2011-9-18 21:16:20

老弟呀，以我的水平不说你写的怎么样了，肯定是比我好的太多太多了。
但是有一个问题，你需要注意，你写的太多了，407个字。考场上恐怕会不够时间的，即使时间够，
我觉得还是应该压缩一下，要求最少250字，但是要拿高分我觉得300字左右也就足够多了。
太多浪费，还不如留出时间做做检查呢，你说呢？

咖啡闲情 · 发表于 2011-9-18 22:55:12

还有我觉得只要正常发挥，以你的水平，最少7分。

ioznrficw · 发表于 2011-9-19 06:01:34

我老公只看了前面两段，他给了一些建议。你如果不喜欢下面的建议，就跳过

Those who advocates -> Those who advocate
treat different individual . individual -> individuals
Just like growing grains, potatoes ... -> potatoes eggplants不是grains
when you grow rice as much as you do with wheat -> 你的意思是指种植方法? as much as 是量，而不是指一样的种植方法

Each individual deserves a unique treat of his/her own
in the process of offering different treats to children
名词一般用 treatment ，而不用treat。

nor can a cook paint a masterpiece of oil painting.
这个例子无法加分。因为如果一个cook经过后天训练，也许他可以画很好的画。

This voice, however, admits it has a disadvantage of demanding a great deal of time and energy. Considering the positive influence it exerts on each individual, a minor sacrifice is worth making.
这句比较像是整篇文章的结论，可是你第二段是在写因材施教的优点。

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jjsdr9672m · 发表于 2011-9-19 17:24:34

楼主我要好好对比一下，囧

imissu72 · 发表于 2011-9-20 00:06:06

楼主很有实力。
我建议写论据不要用第三者的眼光分析（或陈述）别人的观点。用第一人称或被动语气。因为这些观点必须是你分析出来的，而不是看了别人的观点，然后表示同意或者不同意。

tgguq99910 · 发表于 2011-9-20 02:57:25

You have recently started work in a new company.
Explain why you changed jobs
Describe your new job
Tell him/her your other news

Dear Mike,
It has been a long time since our last contact. I am writing to tell you that I have just changed my job and have started a brand new journey.
The previous job, a projector sales representative, had taught me a lot and had help me accumulate a great deal of experience. The pay, however, was not fair enough for me, so I quitted. Now I am selling big screen TV in another international corporation, which is the top three in its field. Not only is the job challenging enough for me, but the salary is rewarding as well.
Now I am in charge of the TV sales in the southeast of China, and I need to travel a lot to deal with daily issues. Everyday in the morning, I sort out the inventory and sales policy, and I contact all my customers and working partner sending email or making phone calls when necessary. Usually, I make plans for visiting some of my VIP customers to exchange information and make negotiation in order to make deals. And I am also required to cooperate well with my colleagues in other departments.
This new job has brought about great changes in my life. I am no longer stuck in one city as I used to. Now I can travel to many cities in the southeast of China, which excites me so much. As you know, I like travel so much that I have so many fascinating opportunities in this new position. Moreover, with my rise in income, I and my girlfriend are finally determined to get married next year. I hope you can attend my wedding ceremony then. Later you will be informed about the place and time when everything is decided.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely yours,
Forrest

Some people prefer to live a in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in a apartment.
Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Housing problem is one of the most important issue in the daily life. Finding a suitable place to live, however, is a major issue that exerts remarkable influence on people. Mostly there are two types of premises to choose from, a house or an apartment. These two both have advantages of their own.
Speaking of house, the first thing that arise in our mind is the numerous and spacious rooms. The sense of happiness and superiority will rise to the climax with a big fancy house in possession. And the indoor activities can be as colorful and diversified as can be. Furthermore, a nice garden and a private swimming pool will add so much fun to one's life, especially after a whole day's exhausting work. One can either sit in the garden doing nothing but admiring the idyllic pastoral scene or regularly throw parties of all themes during the weekend. Finally, as all neighbours are invariably hundreds of feet away, seldom does one have to worry about disturbing other people with the noise made by both him or his pets. It is just like a paradise for people who know how to enjoy lives of their own.
By comparison, apartment will be a better choice for some other. Normally, the cost of living in an apartment is lower so it will release the economical pressure and the saved money can be invested in other aspects of lives, such as stock markets, personal hobbies, as well as food and clothing. Moreover, when live with so many different people in the same building, life can be quite interesting and dramatic. One of my friend, Julie, met her husband in her building and she still thank god for making all these happen in her life. My other friend, Mike, made a number of friends in his block and they always hang out together and have so much fun. Last but not least, people learn more about how to get along with each other when living in an apartment, for they share so many public facilities that they always try to respect each other and to make less troubles with one another.
As far as I am concerned, people will make their decisions dependent on their specific conditions. For me, I have always dreamed of living in a country house.

[雅思杂谈] 雅思白痴，写作练手，求指教和评分

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