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雅思写作经验谈
——两个月功夫保证你6分以上
书剑子
坛子里不少朋友都卡在写作上,而我则是卡在听力上。我花费了点精力,在写作上摸到了点窍门,和大家分享。我觉得如果本来基础不比我差,按照这个方法,花费2个月时间每周抽空看看,应该6分一点问题没有。
首先,最重要的是写作整体文章架构和思路,这是文章的框架,非常重要。其实,万变不离其宗,我是搞土木的,你看各种建筑结构,不管外形区别多大,但是结构却无非框架结构、剪力墙结构、筒体结构。英语雅思作文无论如何变化,结构无外乎就是引承转合,与中文的散文差不多。但是千万记住,中文讲究形散而神不散,太直白的文章不是好文章。大家的文章都是东拉西扯,转了一圈子,才知道到底想说啥。英文讲究直接思维,剑桥的阅读文章就是很好的范文。议论文,首先要“引”,就是引出话题。这个有很多方法。然后是“承”,就是点名主题,写一个主题句,然后围绕主题句论证(论点),然后提供论据,并用一定的论证方法(反证法、归谬法、正向提供证据法),用给的论据(evidence)来证明主题句。
文章的观点可以一边倒,递进关系,也可以平行关系(分别说两个方面,譬如经济方面和政治方面),还可以是转折关系(就是别把话说死了,再说说反面的观点其实也有一定的道理,平衡一下观点,在很多文章中,这很重要,甚至就是要求明确说明的——both sides)。
最后结论段,可以谈谈你的观点的意义阿,解决方法阿,远期影响阿,等等。
为了达成这样的文章结构,一些关键的万能句式和连接词是必须的。注意,如果想拿超过6分,最好别用太没有新意太烂的连接词,譬如meanwhile, nonetheless, nevertheless这样的词,就比however好一些,譬如the primary reason is 就比firstly好一些。secondly but more importantly 就比secondly 好一些。我列举一些看似很常见的连接词,可以连接从句或者连接句子与句子,其实,如果真的能把这些看似简单的词用活了,6分肯定没有问题。
in order to
despite,
with regards to
account for
according to
aim to
meanwhile
given
rather than
as well as
such as
admittedly
similarly
on the contrary
salient example, an particularly good example,
imagining, assume(虚拟一个假想的情况加以驳斥)
it seems that
than ever before
it is vitally important that
for the sake of
regardless
prone to/ incline to
further
it is essential that
a undeniable/ indisputable/ irrefutable/ uncontestable/ fact is that
and vice versa
as follows
There is an exceptions to every rule.
There are two sides to every question.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
譬如admittedly, 就是从主要观点段落转入反面平衡观点的一个很好的转折词,或者用There is an exceptions to every rule/There are two sides to every question/Every cloud has a silver lining这样的句子来转折。
平时在阅读很好的范文,特别是老外写的范文的时候,就注意把这些连接词的用法以及在何处用,在结构中起到什么作用,给吃透了。这样你写的时候,才能对这些连接词得心应手。
此外,一些比较好的又比较灵活的复杂句要背诵一些。譬如我举几个例子,其中一个我用了两次:
the recent decade (21st century) has seen many changes not only in science and technology but also in our lives styles. 这就是一个很好的句子。如果是科技类的,可以就用前面半截,如果是写生活方式、环境类的,可以用全了。这个句子是我用前面半句,再用连接词自己造的。譬如我这次作文(现代人们更愿意把用坏的东西扔了而不愿意修理),我就用了。很容易就写出如下的引言:
The recent decade (21st century) has seen many changes not only in science and technology but also in our lives styles. Nowadays people prefer to purchase new products and throw the broken or even just old-fashioned ones into bin, rather than repairing it. This did bring us some awful impacts on environment. In this essay, I will discuss some of the causes as well as some feasible measures. (68 words)
整个引言68个单词,对于4段的文章结构(引言,影响及原因, 解决办法, 结论),这是个不大不小的开头。其实,刚才这样的文章开头其实很容易写出来,用词既准确又不难。
然后接下来就是“承”。既然是承接,就必须衔接好。譬如还以这个文章来举例子,我就这么写:
In order to stem this terrible tide, we should address its root cause. At the heart of the matter is the disputable fact that products become more and more cheap those days because of the process of industrialization, so the repair fee may cost you more than buying a new one which have more up-to-date functions. (55 words)
这就是一个很好的主题句,第一个句子是承接句,第二句是主题句。后面围绕这个主题句来提供evidence, 或者接着超前引申。譬如接着超前引申,接着写:
So consumers are driven to dispose their old ones and buy a new one. They just pursue a convenient life style and never ponder the inconvenient influence in the environment and in the future. It is easy to find a technician who offer repairing service a generation ago, but now it is difficult to find anyone who lives on repairing service in big cities. (64 words)
合起来90个词了,作为第二段,字数已经比较丰满了。好了,接下来进入第三段。前面我们仅仅从消费者的角度来谈,作为一个全面的文章,这个观点显然不够全面,我们很容易想到消费者的对立面是生产厂商:
Secondly but more importantly,it is the producer who promote their new products frequently and advertise it on the mass media such as TV and Internet and lure people to throw their old ones and buy a newly promoted one, encourage them to keep up with the Joneses. A research conducted by Tsinghua University reveals the striking fact that people at least have changed more that 3 mobile phones in some affluent cities in this decade. (77 words)
第三段的字数也不少了,我们已经分两个方面把原因和影响分析差不多了,接下来我们就要谈谈如何解决了。我把解决方案和结论放在一起,既然前面我们谈原因的时候从个人和企业两个方面谈到了,后面结论部分,自然个人、企业和政府一个都跑不了,非政府组织也应该拉进来,以显示咱们作为政治家的高瞻远瞩:
In my perspective, it is Utopian to assume that this hard-nut-to-crack problem can be resolved in the predictable future. But it is by no means insurmountable. Firstly, the consumer should be educated and be encouraged to repair their electronic devices. Secondly, laws should be introduced to restrict the usage of some material and subsidy should be given to those who prefer to use environmentally-friendly material. Besides, manufacturer should responsible for the repairing service of their own products and non-government organizations also can organize volunteers to offer people with repair. This is really a complex problem, however, I believe that the measures I mentioned above will be a good first step. (112 words)
合起来,68+(55+64)+77+112=376 words。已经圆满完成任务,字数虽然略微多了点,但是想拿高分,250词是不够的,不仅仅是因为250单词对于想较好地完成文章不够,也因为250词比较短,考官相信可以写更多的词的人水平更高。
以上这个文章是我刚刚敲出来的。比我在考场上写得好一些,毕竟考场时间限制。另外一个重要原因就是考场上,我开头写长了,所以中间不敢展开写怕时间不够结尾。结果没想到结尾时间还有,又狗尾续貂,画蛇添足,加了点废话。
以上这个文章,考官不给7分,我想其它考官是会有意见的(呵呵,小小吹嘘一下),无论如何,6.5分肯定是有的。
如果把整个文章放在一起,似乎觉得这么好的文章考场上不可能写出来,但是我这么一分析,是不是就不那么难了?首先,346个词,起码有130个以上是套话上的,这些句子是烂熟于心的,这里头有:
The recent decade (21st century) has seen many changes not only in science and technology but also in our lives styles.
This did bring us some awful impacts on environment.
In this essay, I will discuss some of the causes as well as some feasible measures.
In order to stem this terrible tide, we should address its root cause. At the heart of the matter is the disputable fact that
Secondly but more importantly
A research conducted by Tsinghua University reveals the striking fact that
In my perspective, it is Utopian to assume that this hard-nut-to-crack problem can be resolved in the predictable future. But it is by no means insurmountable.
This is really a complex problem, however, I believe that the measures I mentioned above will be a good first step.
所以,一篇文章,起码有三分之一是套话,这些框架性的东西,你准备一定的数量,分别是观点阐述类的,问题解决类的,优点缺点比较类的,等等,题材分别涉及到教育、文化、科技、环境、工作相关的。这些句子吃透,可以灵活变化,为我所用。
然后,用这些大板块按照我们需要的结构,搭建起来一个毛胚房,再在上面根据规则,增加必要的evidence。这些好比装修材料,为了文章不单调,最好句式上有点变化,措辞上有点变化,尽量做到variety。 这个对于很多人来说,感觉很难,确实需要时间来收集,但是我把我的工具给大家介绍介绍。
我用3个工具来做到词汇的变化:
1、 优秀例文和作文书上提供的背景词汇;
2、 对于重要的高频的词汇,再用金山词霸查阅,扩展;
3、 对于扩展来的词,再用电子词典或者词典查找例句,准确理解内涵;
4、 用一个很好的词典,牛津搭配词典来查看搭配。这个词典我在附件中给大家发上来。这个词典非常好,它提供了重要的形容词、名词、动词之间的搭配关系。譬如:
a、 违反(法律)有多少个动词和名词?
b、 表示显著的明显的形容词有多少个?
c、 表示糟糕的形容词有多少个?
当然,仅仅做到上面这些,还是不足以拿到高分的,还需要做点功课。你不能一谈动物,就说动物是我们的朋友。太幼稚了!一说健康,你就说会头疼感冒,太不专业了。想拿高分,还需要professional! 想做到这点,你需要对雅思的作文的热点问题有一定的见解!譬如,谈到健康或者运动的问题,你就要知道运动的好处,现代的生活方式的问题,现代不好的生活方式带来的危害(导致的各种疾病,譬如忧郁、肥胖、肩周炎、冠心病、肌肉萎缩、心脏病、脑血管病、失眠……),你需要有一定这方面的背景知识,并会写这些疾病的专业名词已经分别是如何导致的。看起来很难,其实也就几十个专业名词,都是符合构词法的复合名词,很容易,而这些疾病都跟现代sedentary的lifestyle相关的,怪只怪你成天就象个couch potato。我用维基百科的英文版本来增加这些热点问题的背景知识。譬如青少年犯罪啊,环保啊,现代的生活方式啊等等。我看了5-8个词条,增加了一百多个很好的词汇和一些不错的句式。
所以总结起来,最重要的是思路,这个与外语无关,更多是你个人的思想和知识储备;其次是一些比较好的能够搭建起文章框架的提纲挈领的句子,这些好比建筑中的模块。搞软件讲究复用性,你复习的时候就要准备大量的有较好的复用性的句子;再其次是大量的与雅思考题相关的背景词汇,以做到替换,使得词汇丰富而富有变化。还要做到句式富有变化,譬如动词句式和名词句式的变换,譬如同样的从句(譬如原因状语从句)用不同的核心词来构造。譬如以下的方式都可以用来表达原因:
cause
link to
related to
a contributing factor is
** he driven to***
for the sake of
这样,如果你文章中需要多次表达原因,表达不同的导致因素的时候,就可以用不同的句式,使得句式不再僵化。
能做到以上,6.5分,小菜一碟!
其实很多朋友作文写不好与外语无关,让他用中文写也写不好!我中文不错,一直有些语文老师的恶习,大一的时候看到同学给我的信件,我都有改错别字和病句的冲动。其实写作和演讲是相通的。也和口语中的第二部分是有相当联系的。必须在很短时间按照一定的方法展开思路,这非常重要。其实,口语第二部分说不满2分钟就等考官,和考官王八瞅绿豆,原因也与英语无关,而是思路的问题。我下面就来谈谈如何开展思路。我以前经常义务给一些小孩子讲中文作文,这个如果展开说,恐怕1万字都不够。我就简单就与雅思作文和口语第二部分的思路展开的最有效的方法:树形分解法。
所谓数型分解法,就是你迅速根据话题,将话题分解。然后再根据分解的每个小点再分解。一般两层分解,就足够你应付作文和口语了。譬如刚才的作文,首先第一层分解成现象(引言)、后果和影响(引言或者第一段)、原因、和解决方案。这个就奠定了文章的框架,是第一层分解。你写作的时候首先确定这5个点,别把哪个部分写忘了。
然后进行第二层分解:现象可以从宏观描述,可以概括,也可以用统计或者引用一些虚构的研究数据来描述,还可以微观例证,拿某个人的行为作为典型代表。这就分成三个,你可以选用一个方法;影响,同理也可以采用这几个方式,此外,影响还可以分为政治影响,经济影响和社会的价值观影响,心理影响,生理影响,短期影响,长期影响,等等;原因,同理,你可以从经济上找原因,也可以从制度上找原因,还可以从生活方式上找原因,可以从个人身上找原因,还可以从企业身上找原因,还可以从政府身上找原因;解决,基本上每个原因就可以对应一个解决方案。你看,这么一分解,内容就很翔实了。
譬如从富国是否应该帮助穷国来说,可以分为道德与伦理上的,政治上的,经济上的三个部分,每个部分分析一两条理由,再就一个主要的因素拿出一个具体例证,就足够了。譬如,道德上,我们不能自己过得很好而对别人的痛苦无视:it is moral wrong to take a blind eye to the plight of the other people.然后痛苦可以有饥饿、战争、洪水、干旱、缺乏医疗等等,可以在一个长句里头列举,也可以分成几个句子分别详细谈谈,然后谈谈道德的重要性,一个段子就出来了。
然后政治因素上,你不给它援助,他的政治不稳定会导致难民的产生,从而对世界的政治稳定产生影响,从而也影响发达国家的利益。可以再构造一个虚拟的研究,说世界上大量的政治不稳定事件都是由于当地的经济崩溃造成的,发达国家的援助可以避免这样的动乱。
再从经济上,说在全球化的背景下,我们是唇亡齿寒的,我们的利益很多情况下可以是共同的。譬如给穷国家建造基础设施,给他建造大坝,可以产生电力,穷国有了能源,可以搞活经济,从而可以为发达国家带来机会和福利:在大坝建设时候可以从技术转让和设备出售上获利,在大坝建造好了以后,可以带动当地的工业发展,从而可以和发达国家技术合作,共赢。经济搞活的另外一个方面,可以给当地居民提供工作机会,改善生活环境,提高收入,有收入就可以购买发达国家的产品,譬如电脑和MP4……
譬如拿保护动物是否合理来说,可以从动物权利,它们也有生存的权利,他们的生存的权利是自然赋予的,我们不能剥夺,我们不能自私,为了自己发展就去侵犯动物的地盘;可以从生态平衡,讲自然生态的复杂性,以及失去平衡的灾难性后果;还可以从经济上,说保护动物,建立保护区,可以搞活经济,一举多得……
总之,思路一定要条分缕析,很快就打开思路。
我这次口语的第二部分是一个可以说服你购买东西的广告。我准备的关于广告的话题不完全适合这个,我就当场确定了一个:iphone。首先是“引”,我说广告很多,根据一个调查,每人平均每天至少接受800个广告(以前阅读文章上有),我们每天看电视、听广播、上网,甚至公交和地铁上都有大量广告。但是这些广告大部分看完就忘,不够使人印象深刻,但是最近iphone投放的广告就让我印象深刻。他介绍了iphone令人著迷的多种功能,譬如GPS功能,爬山有用,譬如MP4,可以听音乐,还可以学英语。譬如照相功能,看到好看的就拍下来,通过3G网络和朋友分享,此外还有大量应用程序,譬如有翻译功能,可以帮你把中文翻译成任何语言,甚至还有数据库,里头还有大量鸟的叫声和星座!
我还想说,考官说哥们你别侃了,时间到了!
以上是抛砖引玉,我敲了3个多小时不容易,希望大家好运!
附录:刚刚举例子敲出来的范文:
The 21st century has seen many changes not only in science and technology but also in our lives styles. Nowadays people prefer to purchase new products and throw the broken or even just old-fashioned ones into bin, rather than repairing it. This did bring us some awful impacts on environment. In this essay, I will discuss some of the causes as well as some feasible measures.
In order to stem this terrible tide, we should address its root cause. At the heart of the matter is the disputable fact that products become more and more cheap those days with the process of industrialization, so the repair fee may cost you more than buying a new one which have more up-to-date functions. So consumers are driven to dispose their old ones and buy a new one. They just pursue a convenient life style and never ponder the inconvenient influence in the environment and in the future. It is easy to find a technician who offer repairing service a generation ago, but now it is difficult to find anyone who lives on repairing service in big cities.
Secondly but more importantly,it is the producer who promote their products frequently and advertise it on the mass media such as TV and Internet and lure people to throw their old ones and buy a newly promoted one, encourage them to keep up with the Joneses. A research conducted by Tsinghua University reveals the striking fact that people at least have changed more that 3 mobile phones in some affluent cities in this decade.
In my perspective, it is Utopian to assume that this hard-nut-to-crack problem can be resolved in the predictable future. But it is by no means insurmountable. Firstly, the consumer should be educated and be encouraged to repair their electronic devices. Secondly, laws should be introduced to restrict the usage of some material and subsidy should be given to those who prefer to use environmentally-friendly material. Besides, manufacturer should responsible for the repairing service of their own products and non-government organizations also can organize volunteers to offer people with repair. This is really a complex problem, however, I believe that the measures I mentioned above will be a good first step. (372 words)
http://www.localau.org/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=873142&extra=page%3D1&frombbs=1(牛津词汇搭配词典下载)
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