新手求作为批改—g类task1

苦女孩 · 发表于 2012-2-29 17:06:41

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我又来了，今天中午在单位抓紧午休时间又写了个TASK1，16分钟，字数225.请大家过目并严格指正，外加评分～

Topic:

You have just arrived in the city where you are going to spend two years for your master‘s degree. You have a lot preparation to do before the new term stars， but you do not know how to go round the city. A friend you have newly acquainted offered you guidance and helped you through difficulties.Write a letter to express your thanks.

Dear kate,

I am writing to express my appreciation to you for what you have done to help me go through problems I have met. As you know, I am a newcomer to be here for two-year study, which is not only a challenge in academic but also in how to live without my family. I cannot imagine how I am going to deal with difficulties without your help at this stage.

Fortunately, I have settled down here and done a lot of preparation for my study. Firstly, I went to local library to check out books what I might need to read for my curriculum, which may widen my horizons on study. Secondly, I have been trying to get accustomed to complicated public transportation system here so that it could not take too long time to get the college, and it would allow me to have more time doing study or other things. Also, what surprised me is that there is a supermarket where my hometown’s snack and food can be bought. That is a really really important for me.

To express my thanks, I would do my hometown’s food on this weekend for you if you are free. By then, we can talk about hobbies, friends and anything we want to communicate with each other. Hope you can be here.

Yours sincerely,

XXXX

苦女孩 · 发表于 2012-2-29 19:56:22

像上个帖子一样，自己先顶一下，楼下大侠们继续

Thurceeffergo · 发表于 2012-2-29 22:10:52

嘻嘻，来观摩，个人认为信中没有写你的朋友帮你了哪些忙让你如此感激。

“I am writing to express my appreciation to you”
直接写 Thank you very much, I am so appreciated for your kindly cares, it is so helpful to me as a stranger in this beatiful city. 是否轻松点，可以商榷下。。本人也是菜鸟也。

冰山来客777 · 发表于 2012-3-1 01:55:25

好像没有断句的感觉，念完之后喘不过气了

njbr8240 · 发表于 2012-3-1 05:19:14

没事照题目写一篇, 不知道是什么水平...

Dear Kate,

I am writing this letter to express my appreciation for not only eager help me preparation before new term stars but also let me get better understand of the city.

As you know, I have just arrived in the city and going to spend two years for my master’s degree. I totally have no idea about what I need to prepare for new term and barely recognize the city. Fortunately, I got your help and carry me though. I still remember you had taking me look around the university, introduced me to other classmates, help me better understand courses, etc. Moreover, you take care of my personal life like elder sister, help me found new apartment and wrote guidance for me. That’s so sweet! I found lots of useful information from your guidance even includes a Chinese restaurant nearby my apartment. That’s really helpful! All things you did are really means a great deal to me.

Again, I don't know how I can possibly thank you enough. I would like to invite you enjoy delicious Chinese food with me this Sunday if you are free. Let us spend more hours in pleasant conversation.

Yours sincerely,
XXXX