真心请教作文

夏雨秋露 · 发表于 2010-3-24 22:44:06

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没有题目就是自己写写的，恳请各位给点意见，文章很多chinglish的地方就是不知道怎么表达好。

Enviromental problems are becoming more and more serious in all parts of the globe.Nowadays we usually listen to many news about natural disasters such as sandstorm, mudflow, drought and so on. How about our enviroment? Why does it become so bad?

Enviromental problems are global problem which we should concentrated on.Nowadays we often hear the words “sandstorm，mudflow and drought”from the news which we seldom heard before。

Although these disasters are acted naturally, I also think there must be something about humans. In recent years, accompany with the rapid development of enconomy, people do make many harmful effects to the nature which people and all the life form are depending on.For example, people cut down and kill off trees,waster water is being poured into rivers every day as well as poisonous gas which made by morden machine is being giving off. The airis unhealthy for people to breathe. Furthermore, wherever you go, you can find the rubbish. How terrible these pollutions are.

We should admit that all of the phenomena should have connection with human beings behaviors. With the development of economy, we do make many harmful effects on our eviroment which all the lives are depending on. On the other hand,the result of deforestation will cause the appearance of deserts.Waste water and poisonous gas having been given off everyday. As a result,the air is not good to breathe and the water is unhealthy to drink. Furthermore, our life is filled with rubbish. How terrible these pollutions are.

Let's protect our enviroment right now.Stop doing anything that is harmful to our setting and ourselves. Please take care of the in-dangered animals. There is the only globe that we can live in the universe. Most impotantly, legislation must be eatablished to punish those who are involved in the destructive conducts.

I wish we could own a fresh and clean sky in the not distant future.

红色部分是我请一个同事改的，不知是不是还有值得改的地方，

有个句子，我们想了好久，“日益减少的森林会导致沙漠的越来越到。”

请大虾来指导指导。

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找寻失去的人 · 发表于 2010-3-25 09:29:09

我自己在作文中发掘的规律：more and more=increasingly

回去我也发个作文，大家交流一下吧

夏雨秋露 · 发表于 2010-3-25 10:39:56

恩，大家都“知无不言言无不尽”互相帮助

第七封印2003 · 发表于 2010-3-25 21:50:02

Enviromental problem(我用单数) is becoming a global problem which we should concentrated on.(稍微改写一下) Nowadays we usually (用hear the不能用listen to) news about natural disasters such as sandstorm, mudflow, drought and so on. How about our enviroment?(我会用What happens to our enviroment?) (Why does this problem become so serious?)
Although these disasters (应该用过去时were) acted naturally, I think(我会用suppose) there must be something (associate with) humans'( activities). In recent(我会用 last few years凑字数哈) years, accompanying(感觉应该用进行时，状语从句) with the rapid development of enconomy, people (have made前面in recnt years要配合现在完成时) many harmful effects （on） the nature which all the alive things（楼主的写法不好，all the life form包括people的，不能用and） are depending on.For example(我用For instance), people cut down and kill off trees （in the forests）,（这里有语法问题，主语变了,前面句子应该结束，加句号。At the mean time,polluted ）water is being poured into rivers every day as well as poisonous gas which made by morden machine（用industry会比较好） is being (gave) off. The air is unhealthy for people to breathe. (我稍微改写下The air become dirty and it is unhealthy to us especially to our children.)Furthermore, wherever you go, you can find the rubbish. How terrible these pollutions are!
Let's （begin to）protect our enviroment right now.Stop doing anything that is harmful to our setting and ourselves. Please take care of the in-dangered animals. (This) is the only globe(planet) that we can live in the universe. Most impotantly(不用加ly), legislation must be eatablished to punish those who are involved in the destructive conducts.
I wish we could own a fresh and clean sky in the not distant future.

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