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首先,再次感谢大家对我作文的修改,总的说来我感觉可能还是语法错误过多,这原本不应该犯的错误。用电脑写东西太多了,所以到了手写反倒有时候失去了大局观。
注意到这个问题后,我又写了一篇。选了一个相对比较偏文科的题目。时间刚刚38分钟,并检查了一遍语法。刚好40分钟。很紧张。请大家有时间再看看?顺便往低了打个分,不用太多的鼓励。以批评为主。我敲进去的时候就已经发现了处语法问题,还是没能完全避免。但比起上次还是少了很多。
题目: Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Title: Are Ads making us to buy more?
Advisement is not something new. The earliest form of advisement appeared several thousand years ago. When the ancient Romans wished to trade their commodities, they posted the information to some public bulletin boards. Nowadays, the advisements are increasingly becoming part of our lives in the modern society. We frequently seek related information when we are trying to purchase something. Some people, however, express their concerns, arguing that the advisements are making us to buy more than what is needed. This statement has its ground but, as far as I am concerned, there is no simple answer to this issue.
To begin with, it is natural that the demands for various goods will increase with the socienty progressing, which is an indication of civilization as well. It is greatly plausible to compare the needs of today with those one century ago. Today, more products are produced with a higher efficiency and people have a higher living standard which consequently requires more to maintain. We can’t say the human beings are becoming more materialistic. It is the ultimate incentive to making a better life while we are working diligently.
Secondly, the various advisements are effectively facilitating the goods exchange. In the modern society, the job responsibilities are becoming specialized to maximize the efficiency. As a result, nobody can live all by his own. He needs to trade for all kinds of merchandises with what he owns to live. The advisements on all kinds of medias are playing a role of “middle man”, fast and effective. The advisements enable the costomers to compare between alternatives and make the most economical decisions. This essentially increases the buying power for everybody. If no advisements, we might have to pay much more to obtain what we get now.
However, everything comes with a cost. Necessary as the advisements are in our lives, the advisements do have a tendency of becoming overwhelming and even mixed with fraud products. This is not the fault of advisements but the managements. It’s paramount to draw up regulations to ensure the advisements will develop on the right track in the future.
In summary, the advisement is an effective tool for trading goods and exchanging information in our lives. Our needs are increasing not because of the excessive advisements but the civilization of society. The advisements are facilitating the advancement of society. Meanwhile, some regulations are also desired to prevent fraud and excessive advisements.
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