剑一g类小作文，求评分！够6吗？

annieyang

吸取tx们意见，不断改进中。。此为最新版



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各位同学，我查了下overdrawn这个单词，原词是：

overdraft，n. 透支；透支额 vt. 透支



An overdraft occurs when withdrawals from a bank account exceed the available balance. In this situation a person is said to be "overdrawn".



变成 overdrawn后：

v. 透支；夸张；张拉过度（overdraw的过去分词）



adj. 1. 透支的2. 描述过分的，夸张的，夸大的



由此，之前把 overdrawn当成名词用是不对的，题目里是当过去分词用的。所以我把它们改成overdraft了。

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Dear Sir,



I would like to make a complaint about the bank statement I recently received from your bank. It states that I will be charged a $70 fee directly from my account for a $240 overdraft, which I believe is a mistake.



I'm sure that I have never spent this $240 for anything as I have checked all my shopping receipts from this month which I usually collect everytime when I buying something in case of any further confusing. Besides, as you may refer to my bank record, I have had this account for a few years now and have kept excellent records upon using it.



I am sure you will agree that this is a most unsatisfactory situation. Therefore, I hope you can investigate my complaint, and respond by the last day you have set for me to pay that $70. Or I will be insisting a full refund of that.



Yours sincerely,



Joe Jones





=======同样的题目，我家主申的作文【以下，已根据 clarkli 同学发来的整篇修改，大刀阔斧的修改过了！已经背离原著甚远。。。这篇分数应该高过6分了吧。。。经过clarkli同学的修改意见，把原来平实中文化的英语，变得学术了起来，膜拜~]

luttomotums

我都写自己名字，编个John Smith之类应该也没问题

j1xhyuuy6i

上面的，走错楼了。。

巩建刚

请问LZ，ACS两年工作经验需要什么样的条件才可以？谢谢

oqhtdzpk

我有一个疑问搭车在这里问一下各位大侠，
雅思小作文的letter的结尾署名，写什么好？
是candidate的名字，还是随便编一个名字就ok了？

Google测试员175

我看了书上的，好像不需要加空格。
我改一下上面的空格。

annieyang

Dear Sir / Madam,

/前后需要加空格吗？

9zynga8xe

楼主的小作文应该属于Letters of Complaint的category. 是一种formal style的书信。
我现在也在学习准备下次的烤鸭，没啥好提供给楼主的建议，我就抄几段关于这种类型的书信的描述，我们一起进步哦。

A formal letter of complaint is written to complaint about a problem which has arisen (e.g. faulty merchandise, rude staff, inaccurate information, etc). It should explain the reasons for the complaint, and usually includes a suggestion/ request/ demand concerning what should be done ( e.g. refund, compensation, etc ).

这篇书信应该属于inaccurate information的category。是该complaint一下子了。
complaint的程度也有轻重之分，参见下面所述。

Mild or strong language can be used depending on the wirter's feelings and the seriousness of the complaint, but abusive language must never be used.

e.g. Mild Complaint:
I am writing to complain about a factual error in yesterday's newspaper.
I hope that you will give this matter your prompt attention.

       Strong Complaint:
I am writing to express my strong disapproval concerning the offensive behaviour of an employee at your company's Winchester Road branch.
I demand a full, written apology or I will be forced to take legal action.

formal style的书信，按照书上建议套用下面的方式比较合适：

Dear Sir/Madam,
...........
...........
...........
Yours faithfully,
full name

我的作文最好成绩是5分，不过我觉得有信心搞定它，立足6分，争取7分就是我的目标。

[]

ld3r6foab

支持下! 加油!

annieyang

题目要求在一楼，附件的图片里。