g类task 2 求狠批！

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又练了一篇G类大作文，希望大家帮忙批批， 谢谢。



Topic: Some people say that children should learn their second language as early as possible. Do you agree?



In the present age, undoubtedly learning multiple languages has been very popular. Some people insist that it is beneficial for children to study foreign language in the early age. Personally I firmly believe that this view is definitely convincing and I would like qualify it to some extent.



To begin with, learning second language earlier is regarded as the most effective way to master a foreign language. According to the research which conducted by a group of American researchers, the prime time for people to learn second language is from 0 to 8 years, because children will be most motivated to accept new knowledge, especially the language quickly. In the age group of 0 to 8 years, children can learn the second language as smoothly and fast as their first language.



Besides, children will not be obstructed from their mothertongue if they can learn foreign language in the early age. I would like to cite my own experience as example. Actually it is a little bit difficult for me to find out the different pronunciations between ‘m’ and ‘n’ because of the effect of my mothertongue when I started to learn English as my second language from 13 years old. But my cousin can pronounce ‘m’ and ‘n’ clearly and will not confuse about the pronunciation in English because he learned English as his second language in Australia from 2 years old. Consequently my cousin is not obstructed from his mother tongue.



Last but not least, learning second language can promote the development of intelligence of children. It is reported by International Education Institute that children who learn second language earlier will be able to accept and master new knowledge faster than others in the same age. Undoubtedly these children who study foreign language as early as possible have pushed their studying ability to further development and will be more excellent in their age groups.



Having considered all the arguments above, we may safely draw the conclusion that children should study second language in their early age.

梦醒却是入梦时

undoubtedly learning multiple languages has been very popular
用一般时态即可

Some people insist that it is beneficial for children to study foreign language in the early age.
learning second language
单复数错误

According to the research which conducted
被动语态

because children will be most motivated to accept new knowledge
很中式英语

I would like to cite my own experience as example.
单复数

find out the different pronunciations
find out the difference in pronunciation

will not confuse about the pronunciation in English
confuse用法不对

learning second language can promote the development of intelligence of children.
缺少定语

have pushed their studying ability to further development
老实说，没见过这样用的

pcsuuapf

最最重要的是，你必须在考场上40分钟内写完，在答题卷纸上，基本不能打草稿誊写，没时间，只能一遍过！

私底下练习时，超过时间，哪怕写出9分的作文，都不能算最终的成绩。

光复祖国

结构问题不大。就是结尾太短。开头段，和结尾段没有强调你的观点。  再者，通常一边倒的观点比较少。建议你经常考虑双面论点。

你两篇文章都 喜欢用 “In the present age”。  是你自己创作的么？ 你是不是想说 At present？  但是这个 短语有 “right now”  的意思。。建议你再创作一个。。

看得出每一段的结构都比较平衡，可是要注意句子停顿。。第二段一共只有3句。第二句其实是2句，但符号（语法）用错了。

看得出有刻意转变词汇，但要注意事态和用法。句型比较单一。
再比如第三段： 你的主干是：these children have pushed their studying ability / will be more excellent
1）  小孩子能 主动 推动自己的 study ability 吗？ 在你不确定是谁推动的时候，可以用被动语态。
2）excellent   这个词听上去很不自然。  advantage  如何？

最后想说。。有写作老师说过。。当你能给自己改错的时候，你的写作水平才能真正提高。
不要写一篇仍一篇。。写完后，存起来一段时间后，尝试给自己狠狠地批。

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