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18#
发表于 2011-10-21 01:01:55
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来自： INNA
Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your experience.
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动笔！为了强调，我在文中进行进一步的说明。
文章的focus是啥？children's leisure activities。
让你回答啥？应该educational还是其他的非educational。
站在谁的角度？children，而不是家长或者老师或者社会或者其他路人甲乙丙丁。
正式动笔，首先写introduction。introduction作用是啥？让你的reader知道你要写啥。所以建议包含以下内容，背景+点题+观点，或者点题+观点，或者直接一边说题目一边说出观点。我来一个初级的，第一套路。开始写咯。真的要写咯。
How a child spend his spare time have great influence to his life afterward.(这句是背景) Educational activities indeed can be beneficial to him in terms of schooling, other ways of spending his free time can be essential as well.(点题了，也算表明了立场，准备开始写主体了)
Sports, the most significant form of pastime, can shape a child's strong build as well as healthy mind. (第一个观点提出)Those who spend regular time doing sports will inevitably enjoy better health conditions, which is crucial not only for children in school but for all people as well. Without a robust body, none of the children could be able to concentrate on their study. (论述sports对于身体的帮助)In addition, by doing sports with other peers, children will have better oppotunities to learn cooperation and competition, both of which are indispensable in their education as well as in their careers.(论述对于心灵的帮助)
Social affairs of all kinds, which teach children skills of handling interpersonal relationship, are also of great importance to them throughout their lives.(提出第二个观点，也就是第二个对于children有帮助的非educational的activities) Though dealing with relation with people does nothing contributive to our education purpose, yet those who know little about how to improve personal relation will definitely can hard times when they step into the ever-changing society. By comparison, those who is active and sophisticated in public affairs do have incredibly greater chances to succeed in their careers or study, thanks to their investment of their leisure time in gaining experience of dealing with people.(一正一反陈述两个examples，人际关系处理的好坏对于children今后生活的影响)
To sum up, dispite the facts that educational activities do futther develop children's knowledge in terms of study, reasonable expense of their leisure time in other activities is not wasting time but positive development of their lives. I believe that children who have better performance in any field will be no worse than a successful scholar by any means.(结尾，用summary的手法，表达观点，重申立场，展望未来)
文章写完了，没有检查。当然，如果你有时间，可以多写一段，来说educational的好但是有局限性的一面。
我检查了一下，字数也就是280到290左右，所以达到250的要求肯定是没有问题了。
自我感觉，task respone方面，做到准确的审题和答题，支持论点的时候用2到3句来展开，中间除了自己的opinions之外一定要有文章要求的examples，要举例。
coherence和cohesion方面，逻辑把握好，分好段落，用好连接词等等。
lexical resource方面，不要一个词多次重复，要学会用多种语言或者形式来表达同一个东西或者观点。
grammar方面么，多用句型，注意细节。我这篇文章有很大的问题，就是短句用的比较少，所以也需要进一步改进。
拼写方面么，就看平时的积累和细心了。
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