主体段来了，自己改了3回

gdhhua6580

请大家指点， 很晕。



Students should not be encouraged to participate in sports at school because sports will cause competition rather that co-operation. To what extent you agree or disagree?





1.) These days, some people give more value on competition than cooperation and they insist that students should not attend sports which arise more competition than cooperation. However, I believe sports play a pivotal role in children’s education and consequently should be encouraged.



2.) It is common for schools to encourage students to take part in all kinds of sports as it is helpful to increase strength and build up strong minds. However, a negative voice is heard saying that sports can cause more competition than cooperation and consequently students should not do sports. As far as I am concerned, this opinion can not hold water.



3.) Whether children should be encouraged to attend sports at school is a hot topic nowadays. I am in favor of the view that sports are beneficial for children to cultivate both the sense of competition and cooperation which play a pivotal role in later lives.



[]

安沫槿

These days, some people give more value on competition than cooperation and they insist that students should not attend sports which arise more competition than cooperation.

这一句是不是前后矛盾

gdhhua6580

当时练习写introduction, 写了俩，用第二个

gfav4945

第一段和第二段是什么关系，2个introduction?

我是开心的燕子

我个人对这个问题的看法。首先，竞争是孩子将来成功的基础；在这个竞争激烈的社会，如果孩子没有竞争意识，那么将跟不上同龄人的脚步并最终被淘汰；其次，合作也是为了最终能让自己的团队在团队竞争中获得胜利。因此，从小培养孩子的竞争意识，是值得提倡的。
我现在觉得，一边倒比中立的观点更容易写，也能更清晰表达自己的观点。尽管可能逻辑不那么严密，但是就雅思作文来说，言之有理即可。

gdhhua6580

我的新练习。

These days, some people give more value on competition than cooperation and they insist that students should not attend sports which arise more competition than cooperation. However, I believe sports play a pivotal role in children’s education and consequently should be encouraged.

It is common for schools to encourage students to take part in all kinds of sports as it is helpful to increase strength and build up strong minds. However, a negative voice is heard saying that sports can cause more competition than cooperation and consequently students should not do sports. As far as I am concerned, this opinion can not hold water.

It is no doubt that Sports, especially team sports， always involve team spirit and cooperation besides competition. Without the co-working of the whole team, including every player and other supporting members, the team could not beat their rivals and achieve the final success. In basketball matches, the ball is always transferred to the person who is nearest to the basket while others take the responsibilities of protecting the ball from the other team. It is cooperation rather than the performance of a single player that decides which team will win the victory.

When it comes to individual sports which bring more competition than cooperation, I still believe it is also beneficial for kids’ development. It is beneficial for children to know at the early age competition, which exists in their studies and working lives, is a normal part of human nature. Recent research reveals that children excelling in sports tend to mature into adults who have positive and realistic attitudes to lives.  


However, it is unacceptable that schools overemphasis winners of sports, such as giving them more awards or special privileges. This will cause students to think of winning as the only thing to get rewarded, and see other students as obstacles to success, which is not conducive to a healthy perspective about sports and life.


In conclusion, not only individual sports but also team sports brings rewards to students. Therefore, sports should be encouraged in schools. Meanwhile, winning in sports should not be overemphasized.


写完这篇文章，有些事情还不是很清楚。竞争和合作在孩子的教育是个很复杂的topic. 孩子的幼儿园， 在三岁的时候就已经开始强调竞争性了，例如吃饭吃得快的，就可以得小贴贴， 后面的没有。 竞争不可避免的， 只能尽量做到晚提。 但目前的环境还是很难的

gdhhua6580

谢谢 yrqin 和 v26v26oo分享。

明白了！ 那我就不用纠结了

xwgouyi001

Education is increasingly important for a nation. Some people think the government should decide what students study in university. Others think students should study what they prefer. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The importance of college education has been widely recognized throughout the world. However, it raises concerns about who should be responsible for what the students learn in the universities. Some argue that the government should have the power to stipulate the curriculum, while others think it is the students who should have the final say in the subjects they want to learn. From my perspective, university students should have the right to decide on what to learn.
这个是从太傻的一个帖子上看的introduction,评价是very good
Some people suggest that high school graduate students should go to universities to have higher education, but others encourage students to find jobs to meet the needs of the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The importance of education  has been wildly recognized throughout the world. However, whether high school graduates should receive the further education in universities is an issue that arouses controversy. Some people think that choosing to work after graduate from high school is the quick way to adapt to the society while others disagree with this opinion. From my perspective,  going to universities after graduation may be the better option for high school students.
这个是我模仿上面的写的，评价是Good introduction!
LZ可以借鉴一下，

q20052005

这个不要紧的，多虑了。只要写的合乎逻辑，前后连贯，用词得当，没有什么句式是绝对不能用的。

当然这是一家之言，如果你有比较好的其它的写法那再好不过了。一般来说，写无定法。重要的是条理清楚，连贯得当，通篇读下来能一致烘托出你的写作水平就OK了。

[]

gdhhua6580

我想过你的这种开篇，但是当时没有找到合适的连接词链接第一句和第二句，所以作罢。现在看见, generally, 觉得用的很好。 以后我可以借鉴

我觉得第二句比较难想，要连接第一句和第三句，而我又想避免 some people insist... while others... , or some people think...的句子，所以这个gap between the first sentence and the third sentence  比较难连上。