作文第三遍，恳请大家批评指教。

v2u0p4c1ie

International organizations should provide poor countries with technology and practical advice rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?



Some people argue that it is important for international organizations to provide poor countries with technology and practical experience rather than provide money directly.  Personally, I believe that both types of support are important, and I therefore disagree with this statement.



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On the one hand, providing technology and valuable advice for poor countries are important. In most developing countries, there are abundant natural resources. However, governments do not have ability to exploit these resources, because of the shortage of technology. Therefore, with sufficient technology support, authorities could enlarge their export by exploiting the natural resources. Also, a large proportion of population cannot get jobs due to the lack of living skills. Practical training could ensure people get jobs which can feed their families.



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On the one hand, I accept that it is important to help poor countries with technology and valuable experience. In most developed countries there are majority original resources as well as human resources. Therefore, if have enough technologies support and training experience, it is possible for those poor countries to establish more factories to tackle the unemployed problems. Moreover, the main reason for the poor country citizens suffer from illness is the shortage of medical technology. Without sufficient advanced medical aid, the infectious diseases could not be well controlled and people could die from curable diseases.



At the same time, I believe that financial aid for the needy countries is necessary. The benefits are obviously if money can contribute suitably to poor countries. Governments could spend money to import equipments to expand and improve their industry and agriculture systems. In additional, technology could not live alone without financial support. Without sufficient money, government could not afford to support or maintain their technologic equipments as these always expensive costly. As a result, the whole industry chain could not work efficiently.



In conclusion, I am convinced that international organizations should not only provider technology and practical advice, but also give financial aid to help poor countries get out of property.



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其实我想表达的观点是，技术支持和经济救组对贫困国家都很重要，国际组织都要支持。说白了，就是来着不拒。我尽量往折中式上靠，怕字数不够。不知道这样立论会算不算折中式，会不会扣分，关键的是能这样写吗？谢谢大家的指导批评。



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v2u0p4c1ie

谢谢楼上写的两段，学习了。
真心没看明白楼主想说什么，是想说technical methods  overwhelm financial aid呢还是来者不拒，只要是援助就好
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其实我想表达的观点是，技术支持和经济救组对贫困国家都很重要，国际组织都要支持。说白了，就是来着不拒。我尽量往折中式上靠，怕字数不够。不知道这样立论会算不算折中式，会不会扣分，关键的是能这样写吗？

EDOPack

真心没看明白楼主想说什么，是想说technical methods  overwhelm financial aid呢还是来者不拒，只要是援助就好

yyfrl310ww

On the other hand, it is believed that necessary financial aid to poor countries in emergent conditions is also required. For example, North Korea has been under severe sanction for so many years, while many international organizations give its people basic humanitarian assistance to avoid starving, which is defined as serious humanitarian disaster. However, direct financial aids are rare in recent years because it is widely believed that these aids could do little to improve poor countries’ economic condition and their people’s living condition in a medium-and-long term.

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我要过英语6级

On one hand, providing technical support which is extremely wanted to the third world countries is essential to these countries’ sustainable development as well as their people. That is because the people of these countries could benefit from their countries abundant natural resources and human resources if with the first class technology as they cannot exploit and make use of these valuable resources by themselves. When the economy of these countries is stimulated, and more jobs are offered by their labour markets, people will become more wealth, and the whole societies’ consuming capacity is rising, which is a typical positive developing cycle of a country.
退化了，看来我也要坚持写才行

v2u0p4c1ie

我的首段有多问题。不错的开头，好好研究下。谢谢

v2u0p4c1ie

回头自己看的时候，是感觉思维太跳了，谢谢指出问题

v2u0p4c1ie

感谢黄竹子耐心的指出了我文章中的错误。之前一直不太明白文章应该这样去布局才会有逻辑性，您的点评让我收益良多，让我清楚的认识到了文章中存在的错误。吸取了竹子的经验教训，把第二段重新改写了一遍，这次思路居然开阔了好多，思维不再那么杂乱了，也不再像之前那样写一句思维就阻塞了。 感谢大家，对我文章的指导批评。

On the one hand, providing technology and valuable advice for poor countries are important. In most developing countries, there are abundant natural resources. However, governments do not have ability to exploit these resources, because of the shortage of technology. Therefore, with sufficient technology support, authorities could enlarge their export by exploiting the natural resources. Also, a large proportion of population cannot get jobs due to the lack of living skills. Practical training could ensure people get jobs which can feed their families.

x2tg6f23

In the present-day world, it is a completely normal for international organizations aid underdeveloped nations. Although conventional wisdom has it that we should support them in a practical way rather than funding only, the reality of the situation is often far more complicated than that. To my mind, no matter which kind of assistance we deliver, all of them are beneficial to the less developed countries.

河马小咬

8多说了，或许打击楼主， 7分很遥远，6分有点危险。

我自己作文也很差，感觉和楼主可能差不多。

抓紧看看论坛的精华贴，看看考官范文是怎么写的