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地板
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发表于 2012-3-14 03:00:28
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来自： INNA
2012年3月10日 G类 写作 Task2
Some people go to supermarkets for shopping rather than small or loacal shops. Why is it ? Is it a positive or negtive development ?请无情滴批改吧~~
With the improvement of the standard of people’s lives, enormous changes have happened in many aspects of people’s lifestyle, especially in the selection of shopping place. Currently, people tend to go to supermarkets, rather than local or small shops, for shopping. It is widely accepted that this is a positive trend caused by lot of reasons.
Actually, supermarkets have a lot of uncomparalled advantages, compared with small groceries. To begin with, it is pretty convenient to buy all the goods people need. Unlike local or small shops which have limited space to demonstrate a certain number of goods, supermarkets meet almost all the needs of people, including foods, clothes, cosmetics, and so on. It is unncessary fo people to walk aroud other shops. In addition, the price in supermarkets is relatively lower than in small shops. If people have a VIP member card of supermarkets, people can enjoy the discounts of many goods, which is very economical for most families. Small shops, however, are really hard to do that. Further, supermarkets have better reputation and after-sale services. Supermarkets are more likely to offer free delivery and warranty services if the sum of goods is big enough, which is one of the trickies used by supermarkets to attract more consumers.
Undoubtedly, this phenomenon is a positive development. Firstly, it greatly saves a vast amount of time. As the pace of life is accerlating, most people have to work overtime and have no sufficient time for shopping. It is the abundance of goods in supermarkets that makes it positive. Additionly, shopping in supermarkets saves much money for people, which makes life better. People living in big cities have to pay money on many aspects, such as daily expense, medical care and children’s education. Most importantly, friendly shopping environment is more useful to release pressure from work. Current supermarkets are always equipmented with various facilities, for example, restaurants, games, fitness club, etc. which are better places for people relaxing.
Overall, it is because shopping in supermarkets is more convenient, ecomonmical and comfortable, that people would like to go there to purchase what they want. It is indeed a positive advancement than before.
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以下是淘宝改作文给的建议，感觉还不如老麦和asxdcfv，哼哼 其他就修改了一些小语法错误
For this topic, or this kind of topics, I recommend to clarify two question separately in the below two paragraphs, and make sure you have make them clearly different. As we can see, the second opinion actually provides one more cause of this phenomenon, which is not organized enough.
Other language problems have been modified by me, and wish you can pay more attention to the organization.
6.5
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发表于 2012-3-13 06:52:23
支持
反对
