请协助ielts作文批改或推荐老师

东西那被动

1。请问大家知道的IELTS作文批改不错的老师，老外也行。有的话请留个联系方式



2。刚写了篇小作文搬家并邀请邻居参加聚会 IELTS6-G-B 题目，恭求严厉点评:-))



Dear Mr. Martin,



Glad to wirte an invitation letter to you！



My name is Peter Janson who is your new neighbour, I work for the Engineering company as a IT consaultant. As my job lacation changed, My family and I have already moved into here last week.



We will hold a party at 18:00 （6：00）pm this Sunday in the garden of my house. my (My) friends and our neighbours in the community will join us, At that time, A great number of delicious food will be servered, including Chiese food,eg:Gongbao（Kong Pao）chicken, dumpling, pork, and local food,eg: fresh steak, vrious of vegetables and red/white wine,beer and etc. Classical music is ready for our relaxation after a stressful day.



I sincerely invite you and your whole family here. Hopefully you all can enjoy with us together and grasp the good chance to know each other deeply. In case of your absence in any reason, please inform me and we will keep a quite low noise ASAP for your quiet Sunday.



Looking forwards to your feedback soon,Thanks.



Your neighbour

Peter Janso



[]

灰色的天空611

口语评估和作文修改服务：http://www.ielts-blog.com/ielts-preparation-services/

结构之类的我暂没水平修改，但几个地方供参考：
1、18:00 pm，中文都没有这样说吧，应6:00 pm
2、注意开头大小写问题：my friends，A great number of
3、约定俗成的说法：Kung Pao chicken

共勉。

东西那被动

谢谢，说得很在理

dpyj0786

平时email和口语18:00 pm 也有，只不过是啰嗦，不严格。作文里最好不用。