每日一作文(2014.3.18) - (剑5-test1-task2) - 求批

vymm20

剑5-Test1-Task2



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University should accept equal numbers of male and femail students in every subject.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Gender equality is a common topic people around the world are concerning. The topic has extended to such a degree that some people propose that universities should arrange the same numbers of men and women in each subject. The proposal will be discussed in the following essay.



First of all, one of the factors that students in a university consider when choosing their subject is interest. Seldom a student would choose a subject which he has little interest. Arranging equal numbers of male and female students studing a given subject means forcing some students to give up their interest to studing a subject he has no interest at all. In modern society, it is an unacceptable practice.



The second factor students choosing their subject is whether it is suitable for their characteristics. Some students are talktive and easy-going, so subjects such as sales, advertising might suit them best; some students are patient and tolerant, thus, they might do best in such areas as writing and nursing. If they are forced to choose a subject not suitable for their characteristics because of the so-called "gender equality", they might be struggling in passing the examinations in the university and learn nothing at all.



The third factor students might take account of while they choose their subject is social need. Social division of job(社会分工) is such that some jobs need female workers more than male workers because of productivity. Some jobs might require all workers be men for men are considered to be suitable for physical labor. Social division of job is something like the diversity of species. As the subjects in a university is roughly associated with the positions in a society, forcing an equal numbers of men and women to study a subject is a practice similiar to dimilishing the social diversity.



In short, accepting an equal numbers of male and female students in every subject in a university do not represent gender equality. The viewpoint of this is unacceptable, unreasonable and unrealistic in terms of interest, characteristics and social need.

bphboj13bl

First of all, one of the factors that students in a university consider when choosing their subject is interest. 首先，这句话从句套从句，看似高端其实很奇怪；其次，这句和题目没有关系~看到第二句才发现你是说，硬要平衡性别有可能有的人要学没兴趣的东西~铺垫——》引出话题，在中文里大概算是很高端的写法吧，但是英文里头没这种结构。而且何以见得平衡了性别有的人就要学不感兴趣的东西？ In modern society, it is an unacceptable practice.这句完全是凑字数~

三段都是 铺垫——》引出话题。。就不说了

lz语法还是不错的~就是用得太骚~~雅思又不是写诗，把一句话说清楚比骚包的从句套从句重要得多~

vymm20

有道理！谢谢评论。在国内生活，习惯中文思维。看来在非英语环境中，想转换为英文思维不容易啊。

汉堡家族

谢谢分享，写的很好。

楼主从事是从事哪方面工作的？

vymm20

谢谢你的评价。
我的专业以及工作经验都是计算机软件方面的。