上来献丑小作文了

2g3i1270 · 发表于 2010-3-23 21:04:22

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因为我每次写作文都是洋洋洒洒的陋习很多，大家踊跃批评。

You are going to invite a Canadian friend to attend party, write a letter for him and tell him:

what kind of party?

Why invite him?

The location of the party and how to get there.

Hi Jim,

How are you recently? We have not contact each other for 1 year since you go back Canada. I am writing this letter to invite you join the party which I hold to celebrate our graduation from University for 1 year.

This party is not official so you can take your girl friend come with you. We can meet many old classmates on the party. Although you are now in Canada,but you are my best friend in campus and also we have lived in a room for 4 years. I miss you so much and cherish our friendship.

The party will be hold all day on Feb.2 2010 and I know you will be on vacation that time so do please come and join us. I have rent the meeting room 309 in our University which can accommodate 100 persons that day.Remember how to go to our University? Take the bus line 178 or 2111 when you get out the airport. When you arrive the University you will see our guider to lead you to the meeting room.

I am looking forward to hearing your reply.

yours sincerely

TOM

[]

njtianyuan · 发表于 2010-3-24 01:27:06

我就说说格式咯

最好改称齐头写
而且 Hi Jim 后面必须要有逗号

我也6分无权评论内容哈

2g3i1270 · 发表于 2010-3-24 12:20:22

用力批评阿这样的小作文不会完美无暇的吧？

91gyhupej3 · 发表于 2010-3-24 20:33:29

看不下去了，再看下去我自己英语水平都要退步了。。。

2g3i1270 · 发表于 2010-3-24 23:54:57

是哪里有问题说来听听呢？

巴石X · 发表于 2010-3-25 07:51:19

我个人的一些理解，不一定对哈
有些语法问题，例如：
1 since you go back Canada --> went back to ...
2 take your girl friend come with you -->take your girl friend with you
3 Although you are now in Canada,but ---> although 和but不能连用。。。
4 The party will be hold ---> be held
5 get out the airport. --> get out of
6 When you arrive the University --> arrive at
有些地方最好加标点符号，如：
When you arrive the University， you will see
This party is not official ，so you can
等等。。

pv28wx53 · 发表于 2010-3-25 17:57:58

since you go back Canada
另外，后面那句看着总感觉不大对。。。

This party is not official 是不是应该有个逗号？

Although，but怎么放一块用了？

lived in a room？中文表达吧

100 persons。。。不确定是不是正确，但感觉people更好

总之，感觉上问题太多，不过我也是半斤八两，你还是苦练一下吧

2g3i1270 · 发表于 2010-3-26 02:46:54

多谢我果然是洋洋洒洒惯了
我自己只检查出来过去时和单复数的问题其他的居然一个也没有看出来还自我感觉良好

bmce5819 · 发表于 2010-3-26 09:27:12

invite you join the party which I hold to

貌似应该是to join, the 应该是a.
我也是6分水平, 随便说说

2g3i1270 · 发表于 2010-3-26 14:42:52

好多错误我都没有发现多谢楼上的各位了不过我觉得你们说话都太客气了。。。

[雅思杂谈] 上来献丑小作文了

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